The dust and blood have barely settled after a hectic Season 5 offseason period following the Chicago Firefighters’ triumph in the Internet Series, but it’s almost time for more Blaseball!
There have been quite a few changes, most notably in the Division and League layouts, that are going to have a major impact on the way this Season plays out. Our experts have put their heads together to come up with the definitive ranking of each team in Blaseball heading into Season 6, based on each team’s chances of making the playoffs and winning a championship.
|Firewall Andrews’ rankings||Nutty Newton’s rankings|
|1. 🦀 Baltimore Crabs||1. 🦀 Baltimore Crabs|
|2. 🐅 Hades Tigers||2. 🔥 Chicago Firefighters|
|3. 💋 San Francisco Lovers||3. 🐅 Hades Tigers|
|4. 👟 Charleston Shoe Thieves||4. 🗣 Canada Moist Talkers|
|5. 🥩 Dallas Steaks||5. 👐 Breckenridge Jazz Hands|
|6. 🔥 Chicago Firefighters||6. 💋 San Francisco Lovers|
|7. 🕵 Houston Spies||7. 🥧 Philly Pies|
|8. 📱 New York Millennials||8. 🥩 Dallas Steaks|
|9. 🥧 Philly Pies||9. 📱 New York Millennials|
|10. 🌹 Boston Flowers||10. 👟 Charleston Shoe Thieves|
|11. 🗣 Canada Moist Talkers||11. 🕵 Houston Spies|
|12. 👐 Breckenridge Jazz Hands||12. 🌹 Boston Flowers|
|13. 🌞 Hellmouth Sunbeams||13. 🏝 Hawaii Fridays|
|14. 🚤 Miami Dalé||14. 🌞 Hellmouth Sunbeams|
|15. 🏝 Hawaii Fridays||15. 🚤 Miami Dalé|
|16. ✨ Yellowstone Magic||16. ✨ Yellowstone Magic|
|17. 🎸 Seattle Garages||17. 🎸 Seattle Garages|
|18. 🍗 Mexico City Wild Wings||18. 🍗 Mexico City Wild Wings|
|19. 🌮 Unlimited Tacos||19. 🍬 Kansas City Breath Mints|
|20. 🍬 Kansas City Breath Mints||20. 🌮 Unlimited Tacos|
The Season 5 Election brought unprecedented change and chaos to Blaseball as we know it, giving a record four blessings to the Baltimore Crabs. This makes them a clear favorite, improving their Baserunning by 17%, their Overall by 6%, 4 random players by 20%, and gifting them the best pitching hitter in the league, Axel Trololol from the Chicago Firefighters.
Also of note, while they did lose an Ace of the Mound, the Season 5 Champions Chicago Firefighters improved their defense by 13%, leaving themselves even less vulnerable to opposing offense.
League Finals Runner-Up Breckenridge Jazz Hands managed to steal the best hitter in the league, Nagomi Mcdaniel from the Crabs, right after they were juiced up by an extensive list of Blessings. Also, they lost their best hitting pitcher to the Dallas Steaks, giving the Steaks some much needed help in their lineup.
Unfortunately, barring the Steaks getting two impactful Blessings and the Dalé, Fridays, and Breath Mints receiving more minor Vibe and Feedback related buffs, it seems like this Blessing season hasn’t done much but make the rich richer, so to speak.
How to appropriately rank teams based on their new Leagues and Divisions is what divided our staff, and caused differences in opinion. We hope that new and improved Leagues will go a long way towards helping some teams rise above their current station. OR MAYBE IT WON’T.