Earlier this month, after a surprise announcement, Blaseball closed the league down permanently. Players have been Released, betting ended for the final time, and the Maincord is no more. With how incredibly shocking this was for so many, we here at Blaseball News Network are choosing to close things out with a reflection from the community, an effort to heal just a little as we move on from the cultural event that brought us all together. Excuse us as we break kayfabe, and present the honest feelings from the community.
Blaseball News Network existed for many reasons and to do many things. We started with spitposting on Twitter and grew dramatically to include creative writing, live event reporting, broadcasting, and community engagement. While we didn’t do any of this perfectly, we hope everyone had a good time, and maybe even learned something about reporting and journalism along the way.
Before we get into the submitted blurbs, a moment to reflect and appreciate everyone who helped made BNN incredible. Cal, who started BNN, grew the Beancord, and defined where journalism would exist within the community of Blaseball. To Em, Firewall, Lucky, and the many other wonderful editors we’ve had that have been so critical in how we operated. To the broadcasters and podcasters, JoeyTBadger especially, we see the effort and passion that you had and wish there’d been more we did with you all. To our wonderful writers and contributors, too many of you to name, who had the beautiful creativity and work ethic to make the content that we proudly posted on this site, we exist because of all of you. To all of you, we say thank you for everything.
We’d also like to recognize the different organizations around Blaseball that did so much to organize and structure the community at large. First and foremost, everyone at SIBR (forever pronounced SIBR), not only for their hard work and dedication to data, data crimes, and data knowledge, but also their direct support of BNN, which is too much to list out here as is. The Wiki team that’s gone through so much to help document the cultural event that was Blaseball, their on the spot updating of not just Blaseball itself, but the many stories and sections of player information that the community came up with was incredibly hard work. Praise should also be given to the team communities, Captains, those who managed the Sidecords, and the unrecognized community leaders. We see the effects of the hard work you put in and want to make sure you know that you’re greatly appreciated.
We’ll start with community submissions from across the BNN and Blaseball community, then give our regular contributors a section, and conclude with our staff and former staffs thoughts. Let’s do this!
Dantesheperd – they/them – On Instagram @dante.shepherd – Boston Flowers fan
Blaseball was many, many things to me.
Blaseball was a sports fandom I could care about and not have to be angered by greedy team management.
Blaseball was a community that was given free reign on the creative backstory of all the teams and players – and while that could have ended up disastrous, the community created an overwhelmingly queer space that was welcoming in its own existence.
Blaseball was an individual creative outlet – whether it be making up a backstory about an old man that adopted children and punched moose, or whether it be developing names for all the birds that nested in the ballpark – that in its own way reinforced both fandom and community.
Blaseball was other individual creative outlets – with endless other backstories, art, music, fiction, podcasts – that provided more fandom and community. Blaseball was a team creative outlet – with chants, songs, cliches, curses – that further reinforced fandom and community.
Blaseball was a cultural event that was its own moment, and also could have continued on. Weeds to that.
Blaseball was one of the best sports fandoms I’ve ever experienced. I don’t care that the players were 1s and 0s. They could be legitimately uplifting and just as easily break my heart. And I could feel that along with others.
I will dearly miss blaseball because I no longer have those 1s and 0s to care about, and because those 1s and 0s held together that community. The end of blaseball breaks both the fandom and the community. We will inevitably head off in different directions, and will no longer have those characters and those creative opportunities to reunite us as we were. And that in itself is heartbreaking, despite all the uplifting experiences we had before now.
There is no crying in baseball, but there is plenty to cry about in Blaseball today.
DoctorSawbones – they/them – Boston Flowers fan
I first learned of Blaseball from a friend during the season 3 siesta. The pitch was wild, feverish, and exciting. I was instantly hooked. The conception of SCORES BASERUNNER, who I helped in creating a lot of the characterization of, had to be my favorite moment. I ran their twitter RP for a long time. She was my darling. Those days will be with me forever.
My name is Griffin and I am a communication researcher at a southern California university. Blaseball was something that came about right at the beginning of my career as a researcher and has left an indelible mark on who I am today. I have encountered no other space as queer and collaborative as the fans of the splort, and being exposed to this space has informed my research interests into queer and gender communication.
Blaseball was important. It provided a space where those typically shunned from regular sports spaces could congregate and cheer for players we could imagine to be just like us, however strange and unusual we were. It was a mirror held up against the world to show how outlandish and absurd it was in its horror. It was a place where, no matter where you were from, we could all be unified in one thought: We are ALL love Blaseball.
It was an unfathomable moment. A point in time we will never quite get back. It was incredible. It was unbelievable. It was there, and then it wasn’t. My heart cannot contain the joy and sorrow. There’s just too much.
Matik – he/him – On Twitter @matik452002 – Dallas Steaks and Core Mechanics fan
My friend told me about Blaseball, showed a video of how it works, ended up joining ahead of Season 5 start. Waking up to find out Dallas Steaks pulled off a Sun 2 loop to win the season 16 championship was my favorite Blaseball memory. That and the time when the Steaks made their ballpark the smallest in the league.
Possum – they/any – Yellowstone Magic fan
Blaseball itself never existed. It was never a thing that could be pointed to, it was never an object that could be held. It was only through the relationships between the people, the spaces they occupied, their work, and their love for the game that what we had could come to be. Blaseball started with humble seeds and from the tending of thousands it emerged into something eldritch and wonderful. It truly was a cultural event. I am glad to have participated in it. I will miss it dearly.
As above, so below.
New York Millennials Splortscaster – he/him – On Twitter @NYMSplortscast – NY Millennials and Canada Moist Talkers fan
There is this story. It’s about the existence of a game that was growing in popularity as it continued to build itself up. New rules were added. New mechanics were introduced. Lore was continuously added. Stats were getting wildly out of control. Fans became exhausted and overwhelmed. The game grew and grew until it ultimately consumed itself in a black hole, ending the narrative with a moral. A tale of extreme excess destroying what was built. The developers wanted to create a narrative about how too much would inevitably cause the game to collapse.
The expansion era of Blaseball was oddly a prophecy fulfilled. Blaseball tried to reinvent itself, build something grander in scale. With the third era of Blaseball, the Coronation Era, new rules were added. New Mechanics were introduced. Lore was immediately being added. Stats began to grow. Fans began to get a taste of what was to come.
And then it stopped.
To this day I am thankful it existed. Like many others, it came at a time when folks really needed something to cling onto. It formed communities that will outlast Blaseball itself. It inspired folks to create. Most importantly, it helped folks like myself through difficult times. Seeing the end of something that has been inspiring is not exactly the best thing in the world, but all things must come to an end, good or bad. I am forever grateful it happened when it did. I’ve met wonderful people. I’ve seen some amazing content. I’ve created some questionably good content. I’ve watched communities grow and blossom.
I hate to see you go, Blaseball, I really do. I hope everyone affected finds their next projects fulfilling and the communities they are in continue to blossom.
Misella – she/her – Canada Moist Talkers fan
I discovered Blaseball through an article, I think it was, I honestly can’t recall. It’s also hard to say my favorite moment. Already I know that when I look back on Blaseball what comes to mind isn’t so much all the weird horror and amazing moments and plays, it’s not even really the community – a community so potent it gave me a renewed hope in humanity. What actually comes to mind is having this bizarre thing to check in on every day. To poke around with and watch games. No matter what else was going on it was always there. It belonged to everyone but it was also mine.
Sky – he/him or they/them – On Twitter @TheSkyDomain (18+) – Yellowstone Magic fan
It was once a beautiful place. Many people and animals roaming around in harmony. Bears always not too far away, and neither was moss.
It was once a magical place. You could feel the hum of energy always around and stirring. Energy not able to be perceived.
It was once a lively place. Games were never dull and never tiring, always playing on and on. Sometimes it would not end.
It was once a entertaining place. Jokes always being made, schemes being concocted with “evil” intent. Others looked on with bemusement.
It was once a kind place. There was always a special soul waiting around the corner to help you or cheer you up. You were never alone.
The Yellowstone National Parkpark was all of these things, and even now, at the end of it all… it will still be these things. Even after the game ends, even after we have to say goodbye to what which brought us together, the Parkpark will still live on. We will always welcome new visitors to our lovely park, we will always give them a tour of what is here, and we will always keep laughing. No matter what, the Yellowstone Magic will survive. And we will be here always for anyone who wants to join us. As Above, So Below.
Now is the time though. For us say goodbye to the game we love, but its not really goodbye to me. It is The Eternal Siesta. So go to sleep.
Matt, Battorney at lol – he/they – On Twitter @thekillergm – Seattle Garages fan
I read online article about sometime midway through season 2. Sounded weird and a little funny, so I figured I’d check it out to see what would happen. I was born a Garage and I’ll die a Garage. My favorite Blaseball memories were either the time we killed the Coin or the first time the Garages went to the playoffs. Both were must affairs for lots of folks watching Blaseball during those times. The end of the Expansion Era was like a splorts Ragnarok, a fantastic messy culmination of months of weird mechanics collapsing in on themselves. But it wasn’t quite as personally sweet as watching my beloved underdog Garages finally get their due and step up to the big stages after missing playoffs for the early Discipline Era.
Nenkaii – xe/they – On Twitter @Nen-kaii – Core Mechanics fan
My favorite memory was watching a Blaseball spinoff TTRPG called Blittle League, I still doodle the characters sometimes. Thank you, Blaseball. I was able to join a community that could rally together for a silly little online game. I made some wonderful friends and some wonderful art. I made a tabletop game out of it. I got to pitch in for the stories. I got my friends into it and I watched matches and cheered for my team and it’s really so wonderful to say I was a part of that.
RevolverRossalot – he/him – On Youtube @SixSidedVice – Kansas City Breath Mints fan
Plansma – the unlicensed transfer of Uncle Plasma from the Mills to the Mints, had to be my favorite moment. Both the audacity of using the confluence of have mechanics to make it work, the narrow window of mass coordination and the mad week preparing a video explaining it in time for the election results. Maximum hubris!
Woosh – they/xe – New York Millennials fan
I found Blaseball in early October of 2020, at the age of 16. Still recovering from a dark moment in my life, I dived right in, choosing my home team, the New York Millennials, and becoming acquainted with the game as a whole and the fans that made it what it was. Forever I will be grateful to this game and the people who introduced it to me, because I don’t know where or who I’d be without it.
Blaseball was an opportunity for me to put my whole creative soul into a project without fear of backlash. The more I involved myself in the game and the mills, the more I felt connected to myself as an artist and as a person. I was able to ignite passions that had laid dormant for years out of sheer love for a team, and through those passions I was led to people who have fundamentally changed my life. From a silly idea in Wyattcord to a discord call in Millscord, I was led to Fourth Strike and The Garages (band), some of the most inspiring people in my life. I continued to be passionate about this game while being able to intertwine it with the things I did in real life. I made my own music for the first time, gaining knowledge and advice from people I will remember forever. I grew into someone that I never thought I could be, and someone I am happy to be, and I could not be more thankful to this community for making me into who I am.
Now, at 18, the dawn of a new stage of my life arising, I sit here and think about everyone who made my life so meaningful for so long. While the fandom doesn’t plan on going anywhere, I still want to take the time to be sappy and give my gratitude to those who deserve it. Thank you to Aubz, Dae and Tim, the wonderful moderators of Wyattcord, my home for the past 2 years, as well as everyone in that sidecord for being my friends. Thank you to Astrid, who encourages me everyday to continue thinking blorbo thoughts, and Louisa, who gave me the invite into just what I needed. Thank you to everyone in Fourth Strike for being such great band mates, collaborators, and friends, through all the ups and downs we’ve faced. Thank you to the mills and the reps of Millscord—Amelia, Carc, Rudy, Antenna, EDVA, Al, Salt, Erobo, and everyone else who has taken the mantle—for being the greatest gayest middling team in the league. Thank you to Solar and Aquelon for introducing this game to me all those years ago. And most of all, thank you to The Game Band for investing in a dream and creating this game. I wish everyone who worked there a bright and successful future; I’m sorry things turned out the way they did.
The game may be over, but this community will never die.
Ella/Ellightened – she/they – On Twitter @Ellightened – Mexico City Wild Wings, Tokyo Lift, and Seattle Garages fan
I was first introduced to the splort about two years ago by another fan. I remember way back then when someone else mentioned it to me but I never got into it until back in 2021. It’s hard to pick a favorite moment because there’s quite a few, both from the sim itself and the community. Season 24 will always hold a special place in my heart because it encapsulated that chaos of Blaseball that I anticipated so much, especially going back and seeing how other fans of the game reacted as well. It definitely felt like the ‘peak’ of Blaseball’s runtime, at least to me, with how active the community was even afterwards. My favorite community memory has to be the 2022 Blasetober I participated in, that was awesome. I love drawing and Blaseball allowed me to really nurture that passion into something more spectacular, and Blasetober in particular let me draw numerous players who I never thought about at all until then.
It’s sad to see it go out like this. I met so many people through it including my partner, and I doubt I’ll ever stop thinking about Blaseball, the iconic cast, the music, and the fanbase for months to come.
Vaporstrike19 / ChiBlaseball Hydra Head #3 – he/him – On Twitch as Vaporstrike19 – Chicago Firefighters, Hawaii Fridays, Mexico City Wild Wings, Hades Sunbeams, and Baltimore Crabs fan
I think I discovered Blaseball through Twitter art and general zeitgeist. My favorite moment was almost certainly the cursed lunchables (I am the lunchable admin) or the Onions. Both are just, a weird way of our community coming together. Oh, and of course our Championship win!
GriffinsTreehouse – he/him – On Twitter @GriffsTreehouse – Miami Dale and Baltimore Crabs fan
In 2021, when I cosplayed The Anchor, was my favorite moment. I had really enjoyed the Roundups and decided it would be a fun way to kill some lockdown time. Then, lo and behold, I received a message from the Roundup Twitter: I was being invited to have a small guest spot on the next Roundup as the “Backup Anchor”. A deeply surreal call with Quinns (a longtime nerdy hero of mine) later, and I filmed it in my kitchen, my mother holding the camera. Being neuro divergent and deeply hyper fixated on the game, I was already deep in the community. I had made friends, and found so much joy in such a weird and tricky time – especially since I had just figured out I was trans at the top of COVID, and Blaseball was one of the first big, largely queer communities I had been in.
Then, the night of the Roundup’s release happened.
I felt like the people around me in the community had lifted me up and crowd surfed me. It was joyous. I had gotten to play a tiny role in something that meant, and will mean, more to me than almost any other piece of media – and I had been embraced by this wonderful, weird, vibrant, nerdy community. Other highlights include staying up until 2am my time to watch my beloved Dale win (lose) the Underchampionship, sitting on my lunchbreak with my best friend in our matching Dale/Tigers jackets after I dragged her in too (in blatant disregard of our school uniform), and screaming with hundreds of people on Discord as Parker was released. Blaseball changed my life, and I will be forever grateful to the incredible people who made it, and the entire community of fans.
Thevdude – he/him – Moist Talkers, Miami Dale, and LA Unlimited Tacos fan
A friend introduced me to Blaseball, we used to joke about a text based baseball adventure, zork style, and then got the next best thing. The biggest one for me (and many talkers) was when we got noticed and called out directly by the monitor! It was such a small thing, but also THE BIGGEST THING IN THE WORLD. I honestly still get a little bit of goosebumps thinking about it!
The Blaseseer – any/all – Yellowstone Magic fan
It’s hard to properly explain how much Blaseball meant to me. It’s hard to put into words how it feels knowing it’s gone. But I don’t think Blaseball will ever truly go away until we forget about it. Blaseball is a cultural phenomena, and even with the sim gone, culture lives on. I know Blaseball will live on, somehow, in some different form.
Being a fan of the Yellowstone Magic inspired me to explore a lot of things I wouldn’t have otherwise, most of all divination. As the Blaseseer, I would do a lot of tarot card readings and interpretations as the seasons went on, and even bet on games following the whims of these cards.
In honor of Blaseball’s past, I look to the future. Here is my final reading:
The Hanged Man
Anonymous – it/its or she/her – Ohio Worms and Baltimore Crabs fan
I was first introduced to Blaseball by a Twitter mutual at the start of the Expansion Era – they kept posting about it and eventually I had a look and got hooked. Day 99 and what came after of Season 24. 2021, for a series of personal reasons, wasn’t a good year for me and the Blaseball community really helped me get through it.
Sitting in a call in the Blaseball server as the Expansion Era ended, going from the despair of everything that happened prior to the profound upliftment of everything that happened after the Black Hole (Black Hole) nullified Blaseball has stuck with me ever since.
Shield Captain – he/him – On Twitter @ShieldCaptain54 – Core Mechanics fan
When asked how Shield Captain discovered Blaseball, he commented “Bold of you to assume blaseball didn’t find me, funny how the game works huh?”. His favorite memory was Kelvin Drumsolo being on every base at the same time. What a wonderfully jank inning.
Blake “Basard” Georgias – any/all – Atlantis Georgias fan
I found Blaseball through the podcasts on the Moonshot Podcast network (the Orange Groves at the time), that led me to start listening to garages the band music over the first grand siesta, and eventually join in expansion. My favorite memory in Blaseball has to be the moment that the Georgias got a replica of Chorby Soul and used it combined with our Light Handed modifier to rocket up to the top of the depth chart and discover Blaseball 0 and the blagonball, on Maincord we had folks from the entire league in our watch channel watching the event as it happened.
Rebaia – she/her – On Twitter @STARSLNE – Core Mechanics, Boston Flowers, Yellowstone Magic, and Tokyo Lift fan
I’d like to thank TGB for all that blaseballs done for me. I’ve made friends, had plenty of great memories, gotten inspired to work on more creative projects of my own, etc.
I became a fan of Blaseball right before season 16, as a member of the Flowers. I didn’t entirely understand everything that was happening at that time, as I assume is a common sentiment about Blaseball as a whole, but I still enjoyed it nonetheless. as seasons went on I began understanding more and more, becoming exponentially more interested in what I initially brushed off as some “weird browser simulation game.” while that may still be an apt description, Blaseball is so much more than those four words. Blaseball was weird, Blaseball was strange, Blaseball was sometimes just nonsense, but Blaseball was always community in some way.
By season 20 I was fully taken in by Blaseball, moving to the mechanics sometime prior to this and growing attached to the characters. I began getting more active in the community, partaking in discussions outside of my small circle and hanging out in sidecords more often. I got inspired to work on my creative skills more seriously. I began considering learning art, I started taking my writing seriously, i started trying to learn music. I can only thank Blaseball
for all of this, and I’m really not sure where I’d be without it.
Blaseball will always have an impact on me and my work, whether consciously or not. I’d be upset with myself for not taking interest in it sooner if I hadn’t gotten so much from it even from the relatively short time I was there. I’ve felt a lot of feelings from it ending, but I think there’s something positive to be said about it too. The whole community is together once again, even if united over a loss. It’s nice to see how many others it’s impacted, and I hope
whoever is reading this feels the same.
It’s sad, it’s frustrating, it’s discouraging, it’s aggravating, it’s any number of negative adjectives. But, on the other hand, it’s inspiring. A project this ambitious, started in the pandemic with many odds stacked against it still managed to gain a following this passionate and large.
Cya around, have a great timezone everybody.
Limabees – he/him – Chicago Firefighters fan
A friend I’ve lost touch with found Blaseball and introduced me to it, just after the introduction of the discipline era. They also mentioned the Firefighters before I chose them and they always felt like a perfect fit. All together. All captains.
The resurrection of Jaylen was definitely my favorite event in Blaseball. It all felt so fresh and nobody had any idea what the rules were or even if there were rules, we just wanted to do it to see if it worked. And oh boy did it work. I love all the coming ways that people would work together to defy gods and make a difference, but there’s something about the innocent desire to fuck shit up on purpose that I have always loved about the community. Yeah, open the book, yeah resurrect the dead, see what happens, see what it’ll let you get away with, see what goes wrong. There was no greater organization behind it, as much as I’m aware, just a bunch of people seeing the path of maximum chaos and diving right in.
Kaye, on behalf of the Spies Bureau of Unity – any/all – Houston Spies fan
Blaseball is dead. Long live the spirit of Blaseball.
Back in late 2020, we began running online versions of the IWW’s Organizer Training 101, a class previously taught exclusively in-person. A few proper IWW organizers in the Spies discord got it started, and word traveled fast enough that people from multiple teams and multiple unions got involved. It might seem odd to tie in unionization and workplace struggles to the bizarre and immaterial world of Blaseball, but really, it just felt like the next logical step to us.
Blaseball started out chaotic, a world of fear and uncertainty. Fans could do little but put in their votes and hope their handful of terrible options would lead to some small improvement in this hellish world…
Then people started making plans. Plans that involved moving hundreds to thousands of fans to act in coordination. Plans that required one specific player to hold at number fourteen on the ever-chaotic idolboard. Plans that changed on the spot, or failed outright, or backfired, or succeeded without achieving anything meaningful. All for a few plans that would go on to become legendary victories. We struggled against all powerful forces from on high, against rules made up just to stifle us, and against the obstacles brought on by the apathy of the thousands who could not be stirred to action.
Blaseball always felt to us like the story of collective action and hope in a universe that felt like it had so little hope to run on. It was no wonder it rang true to the world around us and the struggles we faced every day. It was about stubbornly believing, no matter how often we were told otherwise, that we could make the world better, together.
We ran five total organizer trainings, and almost purely by accident, Season 24 coincided with our fifth, which we advertised by sponsoring the season itself. We were warned that this season would be very unusual, but we couldn’t have guessed how well it would fit. As we watched the finale play out, all the fear and hope and defiance rolling together made the perfect backdrop for the training; and when the teams stood together to charge down the Boss, it felt like a better sponsor tie-in than any we could have suggested.
As Blaseball went on hiatus and in-person trainings resumed, our members slowly got involved in other work. After a brief attempt to regroup for the coronation era fell through, the end of Blaseball marks our official end as well.
Our crew is proud of what we did, and as hopeful as ever for the future. Though we can’t personally train you anymore, we know there are groups all around the world who can help. If you have a nearby IWW branch, we strongly recommend getting involved and looking into attending an in-person Organizer Training 101. If you do not, make do with what resources you can find, whether that’s a different union, or the friends you already have around you. We hope we helped, we hope we changed this strange and beautiful world a bit for the better, and we hope you can take all the lessons you learned from Blaseball, all the passion and hope and unity, and bring it to the world around you.
Caelumsthelimit – xe/xem – On Tumblr @saelumsthelimit – Atlantis Georgias fan
I discovered Blaseball from a friend. My favorite memory was when the Georgias and the Ohio Worms both got Chorbies and shot up and down. The Worms broke the gate and the Georgias went to the desert and everyone was screaming in the Georgias channels.
CosmicDuctTape – he/his/him – On Twitter @YesIAmMackenzie – Core Mechanics and Canada Moist Talkers fan
At times I find it hard to believe that I have been participating in the cultural event of Blaseball since season 2, and yet…
I will remember trying to make sense of this game, how to bet and actually earn enough money and tickets, these solar eclipses, these rogue umpires, all these fiery deaths.
I will remember my time with the Canada Moist Talkers, chosen because I’m Canadian and naturally there was only one Canadian team, and how I found myself rooting for Eugenia Garbage and Polkadot Patterson, and coming to love my best friend Richmond Harrison – in my heart he’s still a Talker.
I will remember the discussions about necromancy, and the excitement when the community pulled it off – followed of course by neither the first nor the last time we would experience “consequences”.
I will remember Day X… I’m not sure I will ever forget Day X. Day X remains one of Blaseball’s best surprises: an idea so incredibly bonkers and yet they managed to pull it off.
I will remember when the Core Mechanics descended, and suddenly there was this neat team with an incredible name and I wasn’t feeling disconnected and drifting away from Blaseball anymore.
I will remember the early days of Core Mechanics worldbuilding, filling out and creating this fantastical realm where the only agreed-upon constant was that it was down, no matter where we were.
I will remember that even with the intent of an aesthetically maximalist creative inclusive community, that there were people who did not feel their place could be in the Core, and I hope they found their people elsewhere, and I hope they would still be welcomed Down.
I will remember the coordination that led to events like the Zo-Yo, and becoming the first non-Crabs Breach team to win a Championship (and then we managed to build back and win another one).
I will remember all the times our team was torn asunder, including the election that left our beloved team nigh-unrecognizable… and every time, amidst the grief, “We Can Fix This”.
I will remember listening to We All Lift Together over and over and over, committing its words to memory, joining in the chanting, starting the chanting, playing this song while I was actually on strike and walking the picket line.
I will remember that we made the Core this mysterious, unknowable, outright dangerous locale, and then within it we built a community that said “we will learn what we can, we will learn how to protect ourselves, and we will write it all down and we will teach each other and we will help each other grow and make something good here”.
I will remember the connections I have made, the games we have played, the shows we have watched, the media recommendations we have shared and bonded over, the jokes we have told, and none of that can be taken from me and none of that is going anywhere.
Gear up. Core down. Mechs Good. Forever.
Eight Giant/Sparkle Emoji Mort – he/him – Yellowstone Magic fan
Just delighting in the absurdity of the system before the plot started was really amazing. I just straight up talked people’s ears off about it and the sheer sense of potential there was. In terms of more major memories – seeing people band together to advocate for the Tacos shelling their entire pitching line was just buoyant, honestly. The effort people put into the propaganda, and checking the website regularly to see how it was going… and I ended up writing an essay for my class about the narrative building that went with the number 14 revival.
Crownedpigeon – he/him – On Twitter @Crownedpigeon – Miami Dale and Seattle Garages fan
Blaseball gave a trans kid below the bible belt hope. Blaseball gave a trans kid in Florida hope.
I started to step into the game during this past summer, I watched Fall Balls between reading news articles and reading legislation. I got two seasons of an incredibly broken site and they were spectacular. I cheered for double spillovers and I ran wild in the immensely fun, immensely broken Sim that kept bringing us together in these games.
Then we went onto Siesta. Then I began writing and drawing again – crafting and creating over a shared love of this game. I still fought. I still lived my real life, scared and angry all the same. I wrote about queer and trans joy. I saw queer and trans joy. I got to see this community so amazingly queer and transgender and beautiful. I got to see a community about sports, something that made me nervous about inclusion (despite my own love of real sport) welcome me with open arms.
The Miami Dale, The Seattle Garages, and every team in this league brought me hope. Keep fighting and keep your head up. In the place of fighting against gods fictionally, we will continue to fight against oppressive power structure in our real world. Radical acceptance, radical change, brought on by us. Together. You got this. We all do.
Many teams, one league. See you on the flip side.
Slimebo – she/her – On Twitter @CoolSwagWoman – Canada Moist Talkers and Ohio Worms fan
I’m honestly so destroyed by the ending of Blaseball being like this. Massive thanks to basically everyone on the Ohio Worms, I enjoyed reading through your messages (Even if I was barely present in the community) Thanks to Alt League Blaseball & Ludoplane, Both of those servers are great and have great communities around them. Credits to anyone who interacted with me on Twitter in the expansion era. Blaseball meant a lot to everyone and I’m sorry it had to end like this. Hopefully the future is better for all of us. Hopefully I’ll see y’all around.
Dimitri – he/him – Hellmouth Sunbeams fan
I got started with Blaseball during the Coffee Cup. As usual, a friend got into it and dragged the rest of us along. I fell in love with the concept immediately.
Scouring the wiki after the Cup, I knew I wanted to find a team I would be happy with. Sure, it was possible to switch later if I so desired, but I knew that I would have more fun if I found one that spoke to me and stuck with them through thick and thin, and sure enough one presented itself to me. The Hellmouth Sunbeams. As a native resident of Southern Utah my entire life, and having been a fan of Welcome to Night Vale for some years prior, this strange otherworldly desert spoke to my heart and soul. The strangeness and danger of the landscape surrounding the Hellmouth, the adaptations residents found themselves undergoing that helped them survive, the unnatural pull towards Home that every Hellmouth resident feels, even the distinction between Archery and Bowyeurism stuck deep into my heart as something I immediately cherished. I hadn’t been around when the lore was written, and I’m certain I never learned all of it, but it immediately felt like home. Perhaps I too was starting to feel that strange pull, destined to become a part of Hellmouth as Hellmouth became a part of me.
I was never very active in community spaces. Blasecord, the Solarium, the Starburst Alliance, all of them simply felt too large. Too frightening. I’ve never done well in massive group chats, so I hung back and lurked, placed them deep down on my server list and only checked in on occasion. I’d see how the voting was going, what strategies everyone felt was appropriate. I’d drop in on the watch parties and hope they wouldn’t crash my computer when something absolutely monumental happened, and that was about it. But my friends and I put together our own space, a single channel in our private group Discord where we’d watch and chat about the game. We spent plenty of time rooting for teams to win in the playoffs, fondly regarding our respective teams as rivals and allies, and talking about how Richmond Harrison was our best friend. It was some of the best times I’ve ever had, and even from our corner the sense of community and mystery was palpable.
I’m sad to see Blaseball go, and I don’t think I’ll ever be quite the same. For the last couple of years I’ve been happily proclaiming my place of residence as “Hellmouth, Utah” on various websites, and a part of me will never leave it. I will always fondly remember the stories that happened before I signed up and the stories I watched unfold before my eyes side-by-side as the most fun I’ve ever had on the internet. I doubt anything will ever truly fill this void again, but I’ll keep an eye around regardless. This community is nothing but resilient, and someday someone will open up another league that will get some deserved attention, whether it’ll Blaseball or some other splort.
This isn’t goodbye, it’s only goodbye for now. I believe we’ll all see each other again someday soon, and when that day comes we’ll all be celebrating together. For now, go to sleep, it’s time to rest. And when you rise again always remember that no matter where you are, you can stare into the sun and know that I’m there beside you, staring into the very same star.
Simon Mangomancer – he/him and vil/vils/vilself – Miami Dale, Mexico City Wild Wings, Chicago Firefighters fan
It’s been so long I don’t remember, but I probably discovered Blaseball from reddit? it was the first place I joined the community for sure. My favorite moment was the season 7 semifinals. I arrived at the tail end of season 7 and watching that zero to hero story in real time made me lose my mind. So sorry to Miguel Wheeler whose death I prophesied/caused.
Mandible/Mette – she/it – On Twitter @Stemandstomata – Hellmouth Sunbeams fan
God, where do I even begin. When I first saw the announcement I couldn’t believe it – how do you even begin to process that the constant eldritch hum in the background of your life for the past 2 1/2 years has finally gone silent? Blaseball was a lot of things. It was something to look forward to through the tedium of life, it was a mess that took up far too much of my mental energy. It was transient and fleeting, but its spirit will remain for me as long as I live. It sits at the top of the greenest tree, it sends out an aroma of unrefined love… Blaseball was my favorite tinnitus and I’ll miss it dearly.
Thank you to The Game Band for making it worth it even if it didn’t exactly end as anybody had planned. Rest in violence.
ThatWannabeCat – she/it/aer/fir/+ – Philadelphia Pies fan
HitchBOT (https://twitter.com/hitchBOT) is one of those stories that gets brought up when you want to trash talk the US. More specifically if you want to trash talk Philadelphia–a common pastime in Western, Pennsylvania (PA). One day in the Pies discord channel, a discussion about Philadelphia and Philadelphia’s behavior came up prompted by an article. The article itself alluded to the fate of poor HitchBOT, and how cruel Philly was to it.
A member of the Pies of course had this to offer:
“HitchBOT was a cop and got what was coming to em”.
To say there was no shame in his words was inaccurate–in fact he was prideful. The quiet kind of pride associated with stock phrases like ‘job well done’ and ‘dinners on me tonight’. There was nothing to hide, and everything to boast about how his city rid the world of yet another cop–this time in cute robot form.
It was this moment that really solidified the Pies’ love for their city for me. The team had previously made it clear from the way their city affected the lore, the team culture, and even the choice to focus more on being a Philadelphia team over a baking team that they loved their city. But it was this moment the local Pies’ love for their own home town infected me too.
I came to Blaseball because I heard about Jessica Telephone, and evil Peanut gods, but ended up on a sport heavy team that was more about winning than it was creating the deepest and most complex lore. And during the course of my 18 season tenure, I was slowly converted into admiring a city that I had only been in for a 11pm emergency train ride home.
The Pies never wanted Philly admiration to be an exclusive club, but rather something they wormed into your head till you counted Philly as something like a second home. I know I wasn’t the only one to express that, at least one other member of the Pies admitted to visiting Philly because of the Pies. So while there were plenty of others in simulation, and in community moments that are going to stick with me for years to come, it’s how the Pies got me to appreciate a city I’d never really been in and how infectious their love for Philly sports and culture was.
Oh and death to HitchBOT. That cop had it coming.
Cynthia1960 – She/her/they – Hades Tigers fan
I didn’t officially become a Stripe of the One Tiger until late season 7, but had been following the splort since my wife found it back in season 3 (it might have even been late season 2, but my memory is a sieve). One of the first things I experienced as a full Stripe was Ruby Tuesday. Talk about a baptism in the worst parts of the Underworld, that would be that. There are so many awesome memories I’ve had over these almost three years and it was only enhanced by the collective explosion of art, music, storytelling, and good humor from all around the fandom. The other two biggest memories I have are the season 11 league finals against the Sunbeams where they colluded with black holes and suns to keep us from ascending and break up TIGERBEAMS, and then the full on mad rush at the end of season 24 where we ambushed the Hall of Flame, helped charge the mound to slag the Coin, and then finally rushed madly to the relative safety of the Vault to escape the expanding black hole.
Yeah, I know the Tigers’ motto is Never Look Back, but I think we’ve earned this one. Thank you everyone.
Bogle – he/him – Core Mechanics fan
My friends referenced Blaseball and I dove head first into making new friends with the Mechs. My favorite memory was attending the Bee Wedding as a hip wader wearing starfish with an unbird companion.
LionessElise – any/all – Dallas Steaks fan
Ya know, some of us were talking a few months ago in some Steakscord or other, and I keep thinking about how the only thing that really explains it all to me is that somebody got the time arrow reversed. So the stuff happening this year was actually the beginning of Blaseball, and then the recent stuff was the early not-really-ready-for-beta stuff, and the first year of Blaseball? That was the pinnacle, the real thing, the thing that captured all our hearts. But the time arrow was going the wrong way. When I said this in Twitch chat, somebody responded that it was beautiful, because it means that the Universe knew when we most needed pinnacle Blaseball, and gave it to us.
Slime – it/its – On Twitch as Footcurtis – LA Unlimited Tacos fan
My best friend since third grade introduced me to Blaseball. My favorite memory was Everyone holding hands as the Black Hole took our teams! It was the first time I got to feel Blaseball as a community, and I haven’t looked back since.
Regular Contributors Submissions
Kidror – they/them – On Twitter @Kidror19 – Boston Flowers and Kansas City Breath Mints fan
Coming off an intense finals against the Hellmouth Sunbeams the Boston Flowers are well positi- wait.
This is not my beautiful power rankings.
This is not my beautiful season recap.
Letting the days go by, was easier with Blaseball. I stumbled onto it at a much needed point in my life, my mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer in the space of the few days between my birthday and hers, in March of 2020.
I found Blaseball in November of that same year, the night before the Coffee Cup and it was love at first sight. There was never anything like it, and there may never be again.
I started writing for BNN pretty much as soon as the Expansion Era began. I recapped every season from the perspective of my beloved Boston Flowers and participated in the power rankings with accuracy and precision (sometimes). Sadly I never had the chance to write for my beloved Breath Mints.
I’ll miss this place, the people, and this game terribly, but at least my aim is getting better. People always ask us “where is BNN?” and it’s time to tell you the truth, BNN is in your heart.
Now, for the last time, I will sign off, and for probably the last time Google Docs will tell me I mean baseball when I type Blaseball. Yep, right on time.
Goodnight Sweet Blaseball, I love you.
Agent Kit – ey/em – On Twitter @agent_kit_ – Houston Spies fan
I discovered Blaseball thanks to a Polygon article from season 2, and loved the Donia Bailey voting collective. Blaseball was a huge part of my life for two years, and was my first introduction to the stress that comes from your Team losing in the finals. I really don’t know where I’ll go from here, but I will for sure think of this time fondly. Thanks for all your hard work TGB, rest in peace, for once, not violence.
IfhBiff – he/him – Ohio Worms and Hades Tigers fan
I’ve thought about this for several days and I couldn’t quite decide what direction I should go with this. I mostly wanted to say what so many others have said. But then it kind of hit me the other day… Blaseball gave me back my professional pride. In a environment where so many other fans have spoken about this community helping blossom their passion for artistic endeavors (and I know this is an “art is subjective” topic as well, but not the point here), I’m here to say that Blaseball helped get my career back on track, gave me renewed confidence, success, and helped me find my mentoring voice that has allowed me to be where I am today.
I am older than the average Blaseball fan. On my 50th birthday, I was an out of work Data Engineer, with job prospects being just terrible during the pandemic. My last job was supposed to be my “last job”; I had visions of being there for another decade and then deciding when to retire. But the last few years of that company ripped apart my soul; I went from being an early employee who helped shape the way the database and entire data process was being to a castaway; I was “sold” with a team that was considered dispensable to another company who immediately made me feel worthless and unskilled.
But with Blaseball came SIBR. And with SIBR came the very early days of the Datablase. And the Datablase needed a volunteer. And hey, I know SQL…
I became the primary architect of that Datablase for the entirety of its life cycle. I worked with so many other brilliant SIBR Data Witches, but also eased many, many others into the world of SQL and data querying. It turned out I wasn’t so unskilled after all. And when two separate people sent me beautiful messages on Discord to thank me for all the help; how their time using the Datablase helped hone their data skills to the point it helped them gain employment, I realized that hey, I may be OK with this mentoring thing.
My current position started during the first Grand Siesta. I am now the manager of a growing, brilliant team of Data Engineers; two of whom are essentially just starting out in this industry. And I help them. And they also do amazing work, just like the Data Witches do. And when I wrote a matching algorithm that used hashing to dramatically improve a process, the CTO sought me out to praise it.
I’m here to admit to all of you: it was based on how the SIBR Datablase checked for changes in any player stats. 😀
Also: As great as that felt, I still felt more pride when The Anchor used my Chorby Short data during the Round Up. 😀
Thank you Blaseball, and thank you all.
Dargo – any pronouns – Houston Spies, Hades Tigers, and Kansas City Breath Mints fan
Well well well, if it isn’t the end of the road, I don’t have anything very witty or interesting to say. I loved most of my time in Blaseball, I hated some of it, and to all the BNN readers who enjoyed my power rankings blurbs – thank you. See y’all on the other side.
Mal/Kae – they/them – Yellowstone Magic, Hellmouth Sunbeams, Hades Tigers, Data Witches, and Carolina Queens fan
What does it truly mean for players to have been Released? What does it mean for the Observed to become unobservable; for the Pillars of this captivating, electrifying game to finally crumble? What will become of this vast universe that we pulled ourselves into / that we pulled into *us* / that may leave our bodies unmarred but has left a coffee-colored stain upon our souls; drippings from the dredges of a brew that’s labeled Past, Present, and Potential?
We here at BNN will never know. This is the unfortunate truth of the Blaseball News Network: without any Blaseball, there will not be any News.
There will, however, be a Network. There will always be a Network; that is the same as it ever was. Blaseball was never just a game. Blaseball was about connection. The connecting of ideas, of consequences, of art and data, of need and fulfillment, of name and meaning. And no matter what happens, we will always, *always* have our Network.
Dear reader, from whenever you’re currently swimming in the timestream: I hope that wherever life leads you, you can carry with you the knowledge that you are not walking it alone. You have been a part of something great; something much bigger than yourself, much bigger than all of us, and yet made so much better by your contribution. I will gladly consider myself a part of your Network, bound with you all in camaraderie by the shared experience of the epic highs and lows of Internet League Blaseball.
Thank you for everything. I am so grateful to have been a part of this and to be given the chance to share my thoughts with everyone one last time. My life, like so many of yours, was changed by being a part of this game. I am coming out of all of this so much more fulfilled than I was going into it. No matter how much time passes, the impact of this phenomenal community improv game will never be able to be denied or forgotten. I could go on for pages upon pages, but in the end, all there really is to say is:
We have participated in the cultural event of Blaseball.
Clip Clipperson – it/its – On Twitter @clip_ny – NY Millennials, LA Unlimited Tacos, and Hawaii Fridays fan
Well, it’s been a time, Blaseball Fans. It’s been a pleasure reporting on the game for you all, even and especially while it was on Siesta. While it was often quite time consuming to recap and keep track of, I wouldn’t really have it any other way if it meant more people could keep up with often confusing and complex game mechanics and narrative. I hope
while Blaseball was running that I could help, in any way I could. I really appreciate all the wonderful people I’ve met along the way, from friends of multiple years now to those I briefly run into on Twitter. My Twitter account will remain online for those who wish to look back on posts and updates and whatnot.
I want to give special thanks to:
● The Society for Internet Blaseball Research, whose impressive and helpful community-made tools have allowed me to report to the best of my abilities and how central to this community their work is.
● The Blaseball Wiki and its recordkeepers for their tireless efforts at keeping the game’s history and community in a helpful place, free from the shackles of larger corporate companies.
● The various splortscasters, streamers, and podcasters for creating an exciting environment of discussion and camaraderie in making the game feel more alive.
● The various artists, writers, musicians, and hundreds of other creatives for inspiring the community with their work and reviving my own creative exploits through sheer awe.
● The Blaseball News Network, for encouraging everyone they could with excellent insight and creativity, as well as expanding my platform to better serve you all.
Let’s go Blaseball community. Love da Blaseball community.
Spludge237 – they/them – Mexico City Wild Wings fan
This is my final column from the Bucket, because the Bucket is closing, because the Wild Wings are closing, because the league is closing. Is been a joy to cover the Wings beat for BNN, and I am sad that it is gone.
The Wings slogan, Pase Lo Que Pase, translates as “Whatever happens, happens”. And friends, so much happened. Writers wrote, artists drew, musicians composed and performed, statisticians modelled, researchers published research, pollsters surveyed, podcasters orated, and more besides. But most preciously, people found communities, where they could talk and share and feel together while cheering on their band of survivors of a blood sport and watching numbers go up.
To my fellow Wings fans, we’ll always have season 7, even if you personally weren’t around for it. To the BNN editorial team, thanks for making my words more coherent.
Pase Lo Que Pase. Anything can happen. Go and happen somewhere.
Graveerror/Nate – he/him – On Twitter @graveerror – Yellowstone Magic fan
Logan Rodriguez first joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Yellowstone Magic, in Blaseball Beta. He was not a very special pitcher- He was not very good, though, nor was he really the worst. Logan was the closest thing to a ‘trick’ pitcher Magic had, in a game that didn’t know what a trick was. He plagued the team’s rotation, through incinerations, reverbs, feedbacks, and not once did he ever move from his position. That is, until season 16, where he was reverberated onto the lineup. Unremarkable. Prone to playing so far above his stars, that his failures hurt so much more. Really, nothing special about him at all.
When I first started getting serious about being a writer for the Yellowstone Magic team, there was a reputation that preceded me that I wanted to try and keep separate. Call it an obsession, if you will. But Logan Rodriguez was a thorn in my side, and one of the reasons that, despite the arms length relationship I had with blaseball and its apophenia, I still believed some part of it was sentient. Logan Rodriguez was sentient. I am almost certain about that, and if there was ever a time that Logan Rodriguez was incinerated, I swore I would write an article about him and his oddball playing.
Logan Rodriguez is dead, and in a way, he took Blaseball with him. I suppose he got the last laugh, in the end, which is why I write this final submission for him. Somewhat.
Logan Rodriguez rustled up an astounding 1397 BBs across his astounding career – 4th in the League. He averaged 9.61 Hits per 9 Innings, and had a career WHIP of 1.563. He never once had a positive win-loss ratio as a pitcher… for the Magic. In fact, his only positive win-loss ratio was in Season 19, when he had been exchanged to the Jazz Hands. They loved him and his silly pitching so much that they had to send him back.
What truly stood out was his fax-defying Season 23 performance, wherein he had been brought to the mound from our shadows after Fax Machines were ratified. He proceeded to lose every single game from there on, without ever going back into the Shadows. That season, Magic won the Underbracket, and became the Eternally Reigning Underchampions once Blaseball was nullified in the end of Season 24.
Did I mention that during his time as a Magic batter during Season 17, Logan Rodriguez topped the league grind rail total score leaderboard? Him, Bevan Wise, James Mora, and Bonk Jokes were the offensive core of the Magic 8 Ball. There was also the Season 11 postseason, where Logan Rodriguez tactically lost to the Steaks, which opened us up for the chance to pit Curry Aliciakeyes against the Moist Talkers’ PolkaDot Patterson (our best pitcher vs theirs), which led to a sweep against the Talkers to go to the Mild League Conference Finals.
Can you believe he won* his game against the Garages, too, that postseason?
Ed Notes: He didn’t even play
Blaseball gave back what you put into it. I think that’s what drew me in and kept me here. The things you valued, the players you loved, the mechanics you hated- Everything about it felt as if it was made to resonate, to draw some sort of reaction from you. The community that gathered around it helped to strengthen, change and evolve these feelings, and expanded your experiences to match those around you. I learned so much about myself through Blaseball. I learned so much about other people. I learned a lot about fluid dynamics, actually. And now, even with it over, I feel like I’ve still found out something about me that I know will stay with me forever.
Being good… Being bad… Neither of those things mattered that much to me. What mattered, was being dramatic. And as long as you can find the drama in a situation, you can find some measure of enjoyment. I’m going to miss the Blaseball. I’m going to miss the Yellowstone Magic. And I’m going to miss BNN. But most of all, I’m going to miss Logan Rodriguez.
At the very least, I got some pretty good friends out of all this.
Ace Analyst – he/they – On Twitter @AnalystAce – LA Unlimited Tacos fan
My favorite moment was bringing Luckey/-J. aboard Blaseball Prospectus. It was a blast and a fun challenge to co-run our slice of Blaseball Twitter. That, or forcing my friend to watch the Semi-Centennial unfold with me at a Panera! Basically, all the little connections it helped me make.
Setting out to write a Blaseball eulogy was not something I planned to do for a while, and it stumped me at first. I already got to write my sappy thank yous in a (probably too long) Twitter thread when I retired from my beloved Blaseball Prospectus after the Expansion Era, and nobody needs to read that again. (But of course, another thank you to you all.) And disappointment is something I’m sure will be expressed plenty over the next few weeks.
But what I would like to write about, and something that made Blaseball so miraculous, was the humanity of it. Blaseball was a simulation, which, as a lover of facts and statistics and happenings, excited me. But I knew that this game, this idea, this community, was special when the Peanut first appeared onscreen. It was almost an afterthought at first, a little nothing — but, as we often did, the Fans latched on, reacting with laughter and fear. And then, it was something.
I loved the way Blaseball built somethings out of nothings: in a game with no official records, SIBR built a web of numbers (going up, of course). Teams built identities, headcanons, chants, and emotions from a sea of names and stars. A league of reporters emerged and collaborated (on a platform that doesn’t make it easy!) and spawned the hilarity of Late Night Blaseball Twitter. And a personal favorite was when a certain blallclub took my offhand remark and made a whole damn slogan out of it.
In the end, this silly little eldritch horror roguelike baseball simulator could have easily been lost in a sea of online experiences. But this little corner of community made it one of the biggest somethings I’ve ever been a part of.
Goodbye. Rest in Violence. The Breath Mints.
Panorama Dan – he/him – On Twitter @PandaSunbeams – Hellmouth Sunbeams Estimator and fan
This post has gone through a lot of revisions in the last few days.
For a while, it was a high concept Fight Club related piece with lines like “I am Dan’s Journalistic Integrity” that ended with us watching the world crumble while I said “You met me at a very weird time in my life.”
For a while, it was an even higher concept piece of Panorama Dan interviewing players on various teams. But when it comes down to it, there’s only one thing that I really need to say here in the hallowed halls of BNN.
Thanks for letting me do so many shitposts of varying complexity. Whether it was discussing Dayquil Chicken in Enby Baby Jail, constantly commenting on the Sunbeams insane single-minded batting, drowning myself in the hubris of being the only person allowed to Estimate the Beams, or doing my SHARKOUT or All-Stars articles, BNN and Blaseball have allowed me to be more creative than I ever have in my life.
I’ll never stop staring into the sun, and I’ll find the Fishblades and the Goncharovs someday. Thanks for everything.
Ophelia, fae queen – she/her – On Twitter @Ophiedrowning – Dallas Steaks fan
Blaseball is dead, long live Blaseball. If someone were to tell me that some of the most meaningful relationships in my life would develop solely because of interactions perpetuated by an unsustainable baseball betting sim, I would have laughed in their face. But, as you all know, it’s true.
I found the game through Sam’s dad, MLB reporter Ken Rosenthal, when he tweeted about it on opening day. As a born Dallasite, I quickly picked the Steaks and excitedly played. I engaged solely on twitter, the website, and the wiki until season 7, when a friend from a different server (hi Stara 👋) convinced me to join the main discord server. The Steaks greeted me were unlike any online community I had ever been in before. Supportive, thoughtful, and kind, the Steaks very quickly accepted me as one of their own. We made very silly propaganda and cheered our team onto victory.
Then, after I wrote an article for BNN, Joey Badger introduced me to Kim Dauber. In an act of genius, or more honestly, insanity, Kim said that we should write a musical for Blaseball. I can write, she can produce, and someone else can make the music. After a couple months of planning, we reached out to rain of Garages fame, and somehow it agreed to write this insane show with us. After writing a short outline of the story, rain and I spent 24 straight hours (we took naps) writing what you all know as Blaseball: the Musical, my propaganda piece to grow the Steaks’ tiny fanbase. With help from some of the most hardworking and talented people I have ever had the chance to work with, we were able to make a genuinely good and meaningful piece of art. I do have to thank Erica especially for her vulnerable performance as a character that every Steaks fan knows and loves.
After the musical, the Steaks were itching to pull off another scheme, and with the introduction of an incredibly harmful bill to the Texas legislature, we had our next goal. Do a 24 hour stream to raise awareness of the bill and money for Rainbow Railroad. After some incredible art by Alexander, Minty, and Aleks, technical work by Invariel, behind the scenes work by Jen, Mahal, Rei, and especially Josh, the heart of the Steaks, as well as all of the community that came together and lent their talents to us, we raised $10,420.69 (this is not a joke, that’s the exact number). Somehow, the smallest team in Blaseball broke the record for Blaseball related fundraisers. And we did it together.
That’s how I’ll choose to remember this game. Not the website or the players, not the Season 16 Championship over our longtime friends the Firefighters, but the people. The people are Blaseball and Blaseball is the people. I’m grateful to the TGB for facilitating a community and experience that led people to treat each other with kindness first, but my heart lies forever with the Steaks.
Patronus – he/him – Ohio Worms fan
The day the Ohio Worms lost the Season 23 Championship to the Canada Moist Talkers, I was pacing
around my wife’s childhood home trying to calm my infant son. I explained the significance of the
game… Scratch keeping the game alive… Ji-Eun’s doubling modifier. I was misty-eyed before Loubert
finished that at-bat, and that season with it: whether the Worms would win or lose, this was Blaseball at
We celebrated through the highs, watching XanPan smash through lineups as Vess hit dinger after ding,
scoop after scoop. We wriggled through the lows, breaking records for losing and Dwelling our way up
from the Bottom. From the first frenzied at-bat (THE Lenny Crumb solo home run), Worms nation was a
community of shared joy and loss, love and wistfulness. What we gained from Blaseball we will keep
with us for the rest of our lives. My son may never get to see Blaseball live, but when he asks me to tell
him the story of his Lenny Crumb stuffed animal, he will hear one of the greatest legends of all.
Staff and Former Staff Submissions
Firewall Andrews (Leo) – he/him – On Twitter @LeoHowell8 – LA Unlimited Tacos, Dallas Steaks, Charleston Shoe Thieves fan
I could write a lot about Blaseball, but the biggest takeaway from the past few years: This was a very special game that created an incredible community with tons of creativity. It created hilarious and epic moments and introduced me to a ton of great people. I cared about my favorite players and teams, despite it all being a baseball box score generator on a black and white website. Kudos to the Game Band, and most of all, to all the volunteers, creatives and fans who made the game incredible from beginning to end.
Forsythia Helltiger – they/she – On Twitter @vortiwife – Lets Go Mills Baby Love Da Mills
Originally discovered Blaseball from Jessica Telephone fanart the K6BD guy posted on Twitter during Season 3! There were SO many great moments. The time we accidentally posted Jason Derulo’s dick on the BNN twitter account. Every single Power Rankings we ever wrote. The Musical. Also shoutout to Mills RP Twitter you guys were absolutely wild. Logging in and trying to parse what was going on in the actual game while like nine player RP accounts were all loudly divorcing each other was always so funny
Luckey Haskins / Blaseball Prospectus – he/him – On Twitter @Dashjperiod – Chicago Firefighters fan
For me, Blaseball was a huge blank piece of paper that you (plural) could write upon, scribble, and fold into so many unexpected layers & shapes. In light of its end, let’s unfold a few layers of meaning I took from the cultural event of Blaseball, yeah?
The first fold was the experience of being a fan. I, an IRL person, was watching a fake sp(l)ort that was replicating the experiences of following a team, cheering for a player, and staring with bated breath at a sports ticker. Without realizing it, I’d become INVESTED in this speedrun of a season, with its ridiculous names and impossible score lines.
Who could forgot the drama of Season 5, when Chicago was looking to ride the league’s best pitcher, Alex Trololol, to the playoffs? UNTIL Alex was Reverb’d into becoming a lineup player!! There’s no way the Firefighters overcome this event, right?! Or maybe … They did it, even with their canon-armed firetruck of a player holding a bat!
Wait, Alex was what?
That was another fold we made. We noticed that this fictive world enticed us to make up stuff about it. It invited us to play pretend with fulsome names like “Alex Trololol” and unexpected events like “Reverb.” We create headcanon, or we come across something in the Discord that makes us smile. Apophenia waves to us, and a community starts to form around creating narrative & connection out of the sim’s randomness.
At a time when we were isolated, I could lean into my experiences in journalism, theatre, and analytics. I connect with someone (Ace Analyst) who’s created the “Blaseball Prospectus,” a silly echo of an IRL publication I once read. And I create a silly echo of myself, a dimension-hopping sportswriter I name after an exit on I-75 (Luckey and Haskins, Ohio). And like any good theatre company, improv troupe, or role-playing game, we start to imagine together.
These are the indelible moments of Blaseball for me: collaborating with Ace on the Coffee Cup coverage, discussing schedules, building the world behind Blaseball Prospectus. Working with BNN to enact journalistic shenanigans & lexical tomfoolery. Watching other fans take a tweet and adapting it, claiming it, changing it into something new. Starting to realize that folks in Discord refer to you as your OC.
Which brings us to a third fold, more of an experiential fold: the bleed. We’ve made so many folds that our fictive experience bleeds into IRL space, and now we negotiate that blurry line between the two. I notice a game designer or author I follow interacting with something the Prospectus tweeted. Or it’s trying to balance following this 24/7 game with life away from your screen. It’s not realizing you let slip a “waypoinkt qude” in conversation, and now folks are confused. It’s your bartender looking at your jersey & mentioning they’ve never heard of the Firefighters.
And as you hold these two worlds in your mind simultaneously, you ask yourself: do I give them the elevator speech and move on? Or do I start this bystander on the multi-fold journey to a new shared world?
But that was then. Now, we need to change one word in our response, to reflect the new un-reality of the Immaterial Plane / the reality of our business-driven world:
“Okay. So, there was this game called ‘Blaseball.’ … Yeah, with an ‘L’…”
Cal “Benson ‘Nutty’ Newton” – he/him – On Twitter @MTGCal – Ohio Worms fan
There is a lot of things I could say about Blaseball. A silly little baseball simulator with silly characters and everybody dies. A wondrous community that did a lot of very exciting things. A musical. SIBR. A band. A wiki full of characters. A news network. Oh lord. A news network. As the joke so often went, I started the Blaseball News Network as a joke. I had been watching Blaseball for… oh, 3 days? in the middle of a very dark time (as I’m sure it was for all of us). Working a job I hated, stuck in a house for an indeterminate amount of time, barely a year removed from college with little to no direction or motivation, a world ground to a halt. So, why not. Let’s make a silly little RP News account that tweets when players are incinerated, or something. Before you know it, I was taking it seriously. I was livetweeting game results, sending out breaking news notifications for player incinerations or other happenings, and more. Then came the fateful day, August 2020, where I decided I needed to do more. Why not writing?
From there, the rest is history. Firewall, Forsythia, & Luckey hopped right into my silly world of an AI-run news network that wasn’t powerful enough to create meaningful content (prescient?), adding their own twists into the Season recaps, specials, weekly power rankings, and more. And it grew. and grew. and grew. The broadcasters, the podcasters, the videos, even more written pieces… I was astounded. And it was too much for me. Blaseball was too much. Too beautiful, too busy. Too many things for one man to handle (even with so much help and my god there was so much help). So I made my exit and handed BNN off to Cat, easily the best decision at the time AND in hindsight (it isn’t often one can say both). They did a bang-up job, if I say so myself.
Thank you Blaseball, thank you community, thank you BNN contributors. Thank you Cat & Firewall especially. You all have made a permanent imprint on my life for the better & I hope I did for you as well. So long, blaseballers.
THAT’S ALL FOLKS.
THAT’S THE END OF BLASEBALL. THAT’S IT.
Dan “Leto” Hahn – he/him – On Twitter @Leto – Yellowstone Magic and Boston Flowers fan
I’m writing this after having compiled this article from everyones’ submissions, a process that was not only emotionally draining, but also more work on a single piece than I think I’ve ever done before for BNN. Sky’s submission in particular had me absolutely broken for a solid 10 minutes. Thank you everyone for your contributions, I expected a few, but the sheer mass of people who trusted us with their thoughts and feelings after the closing of Blaseball means the world to Cat and me. I’m going to do my best to compile my thoughts here before handing things off to Cat for her to add the final word, editing, and publishing.
Starting out just wanting to cheer on a Boston team, I latched on to the Flowers without hesitation, and in turn latched on to my boys, King Weatherman and Jacob Haynes. I still eagerly reference the “Just a Guy” song from the Garages AWAY GAMES album. In addition, I picked up RPing as King in his last few seasons with the Flowers, which was a fun and eye opening experience on how much of the community interacts. Eventually, the King/Cory trade happened, and a beautiful storyline unfolded with King reconciling with the Magic, best friending Chorby Short, and having a couple truly stellar seasons. I appreciated the heck out of both teams, and really enjoyed finding a home with Yellowstone.
A moment on Yellowstone, no group has made me feel so welcomed or privileged, they welcomed me with open arms from the moment King was traded over. Getting to be their broadcaster, share some incredible moments, and have people make art for me because of everything was something I will never forget as long as I’m above the moss. I wasn’t the easiest to work with, and on a few occasions I angered the keepers and captains with my opinionated nature, but no matter what I did my best to represent how powerful the Magic was as a community. Hopefully, I did well enough with that.
Outside of those happenings, it was an incredible joy to work with so many content creators over the course of my time with the Broadcasters Group, and later on BNN directly. For a bit there, the broadcaster group had some really good things going for it, and we were turning a lot of gears, it’s unfortunate how aggressively real life stopped me from helping that continue to flourish. Props to Joey in particular for being a fun counterpart for so long on the broadcast front, it was a joy being able to cast with him. My hope is, more than anything, that I was able to bring a level of professionalism and education about broadcasting to the Blaseball community that helped everyone step their proverbial game up.
I’m grateful for the mountains of hard work and creativity on the part of The Game Band, getting to interview Elena was a joy, and it’s because of all their effort that we even had anything to talk about. That being said, I really wish the broadcasters and BNN as a whole had received some kind of appreciation or recognition, especially when we were putting out multiple articles a week as well as the Power Rankings and regular weekly broadcasts. The immense effort that went into this level of activity, only for them to never truly credit or be interested in working with us, really stung after a while.
With all that, and in closing, Goodnight BNN Fam, if you found us at any point, congrats on accomplishing the impossible. I’ll forever keep my Yellowstone Magic cap as long as I can, and will continue to say whenever appropriate:
As Above, So Below.
CatBNN – she/they – On Twitter @CatStlats – Boston Flowers and Houston Spies fan
well. it was fun while it lasted, eh buds?
back in the cursed days of summer 2020, a friend told me about a simulated baseball league mixed with lovecraftian stories. my response: “watch, in three days i’ll be one of those people with spreadsheets.” nearly three years later, we’re saying goodbye to our favorite splort, and i’m ending an era in my creative career. blaseball, both directly through the storyline, and indirectly through the community, affected me emotionally in a way no other game has, and blaseball news network has allowed me to contribute my efforts to an honestly incredible fandom.
something wild to think about is how, over three material plane years, there were only 26 official seasons and a few tournament games. yet there’s literally thousands of pages on the fan-run blaseball wiki, hundreds of fanfics across different sites, and this entire online newspaper. that was the power of the blaseball fandom, to take just a few numbers, maybe even just a funny name, and create entire characters wholesale. i feel intensely lucky to have been able to participate from the unique perspective as a curator of the stories that came through the stats.
it’s hard to know what to say here. every sentiment i have is already echoed all over this page. i want to thank cal
bnn pwp for trusting my tweeting skill so much he handled over his baby to me. i want to thank every single person who helped the network flourish: dan, joey, em, luckey, firewall, deejay, forsythia, and all the contributors. and i want to thank you, for reading our articles, demanding answers for our power rankings, and never ceasing to search us out.
many readers, one network.