LETS LOOK BACK AT SEASON FOUR OF THE CULTURAL EVENT THAT IS BLASEBALL.
Hey everybody, it’s me, Benson “Nutty” Newton here with the real big one, that think you’ve all been waiting for. That’s right. it’s time for all the big happenings of Season 4, all bundled into one tidy, but massively large place. The almighty Season 4 has ended, with a champion named. Without further ado, lets get started.
The Season’s new twist, Feedback, dynamically changed the landscape of the entire Blaseball league.
Feedack, the mysterious storms that assail so many of our Blaseball games this season had quite the odd effect. At the most inopportune times, Players were forced to swap allegiances from one team to another. This Feedback effected many of the teams around the league to great effect. Here were the Feedback occurrences from all of Season 4.
It didn’t take long for the Blaseball universe to find out the effects of these Feedback storms, as in a mysterious event, the Chicago Firefighter’s 4* Hitter Paula Mason and Dallas Steaks’ 2.5* Hitter Thomas Kirby swapped team allegiances after their head-to-head competition on Day 4 of the season. Though well over 50 games had been effected by Feedback by Day 4, this was the first direct effect BNN observed it having on any player.
Mere moments after winning a game in which they were favored, the feedback that surrounded the match gave the New York Millennials a loss. The strange weather conditions forced the teams 1.5* hitter Alyssa Harrel to switch allegiances to their opponent and division rival, the Yellowstone Magic, in return for the 1* Hitter Penelope Matthews.
While through 24 games of Season 4 we only saw two instances of Feedback impacting Blaseball, it was followed by two instances within six games. In a seemingly otherwise routine Crabs victory over the Jazz Hands, feedback struck once again during day 25. The crabs exchanged 3.5* batter Valentine Games with the Jazz Hands with actual Blaseball playing fox, 2.5* batter Tot Fox.
In a statement released to BNN, Tot Fox seemed to regret not doing what they could in order to stop the Feedback Frenzy from occurring. Maybe next time.
Just several games later, after a Moist Talkers win, Workman Gloom was separated from his beloved puppy Beasley Gloom, a treasured teammate on the Shoe Thieves. In return for Workman Gloom, the Moist Talkers sent over Joe Vorhees, a trade with which nobody seemed happy about.
After a win over the favored Garages on Day 36, the Dalés lost their beloved 1.5* Hitter, Farrell Seagull to the opposing team. In return, they gained the 2* Hitter Avila Guzman. We’ve yet to see major impact from this mysterious trade, but we’re sure big things are to come.
On day 37, the humble Houston Spies defeated the favored Philly Pies. In a massive frenzy of Feedback during the game however, the 2* Hitter Yeong-Ho Benitez of the Spies and 2* Hitter Marrow Wilson traded places seemingly at random! While this Feedback trade may appear even on paper, Marrow Wilson is a great 4.5* defender compared to Yeong-Ho Benitez’s 2*.
Right at the beginning of a three game series between the Hades Tigers and the Philly Pies, a massive storm of feedback sent 2x League MVP 5.5* Hitter and Wielder of the Dial Tone Jessica Telephone back to her Season 2 home, the Philly Pies. The Pies aren’t to be confused with her Season 1 home, the Dallas Steaks. In return for arguably the best player in all of Blaseball, the League Leading Hades Tigers received the 1* Batting Spears Taylor. However, as a 4* Defensive expert, Taylor brought a much needed boost to what was once the worst defense in The Evil League.
On Day 54, after the Underdog Unlimited Tacos won a game over the Boston Flowers during a series of matches that were a part of determining the last place team in the league, 1.5* Hitter Vito Kravitz of the Flowers and 1.5* Hitter Moses Mason of the Tacos switched places due to a sudden storm of Feedback. A fairly routine swap of two average players between the bottom two teams in the match isn’t quite as exciting as other Feedback events has been, but is still important!
After the underdog Charleston Shoe Thieves picked up an upset over the favored Boston Flowers, there once again was a mysterious Feedback event! 1.5* Hotbox Sato of the Flowers was sent to the Shoe Thieves in return for the 1.5* Legendary Hitter, Morrow Doyle. Doyle, the player who hit the Grand Unslam, will certainly be missed by the Thieves. Well… *was* missed by the Thieves.
In yet another fascinatingly odd Feedback Frenzy, the Hawaii Friday’s Basilio Fig and Unlimited Taco’s Baldwin Breadwinner swapped places right in the middle of a match up between the two teams! These players went on to have great impact on their respective teams, helping both of them miss the postseason.
Just one day after the last Feedback event, the Millennials’ Richardson Games swapped with the Shoe Thieves’ Ren Hunter on Day 83 of competition. We’re not sure why the feedback chased the Shoe Thieves so hard during the second half of the Season. Maybe it wanted its shoe back?
RECORD SMASHING PERFORMANCES THE FANS LOVE.
In Day 3 of competition, the Hawaii Fridays put up 23 runs to the Charleston Shoe Thieves’ 8, setting a new single game score record, beating the previous record of 20 runs! Congratulations to the Fridays for this great team effort and all that it involves. BNN is sure this record will be broken before we know it, however!
On the final day of normal Season 4, the long-eliminated-from-Poseason-contention and #PARTYTIME experts Boston Flowers and Unlimited Tacos went a record 24 innings, causing the first instance on record of Spillover. With their game taking more than one full day, it’s lucky for these Blaseball players that their services weren’t needed for the Postseason. They need the rest.
THOUGH IT’S NO LONGER THE PEAK OF DISCIPLINE AS IT WAS IN SEASON 3, WE STILL tragically lost some incredible players this season.
In memoriam:whit steakknife
Tragically, during a routine solar eclipse game vs. the San Francisco Lovers, beloved Kansas City Breath Mints Hitter Whit Steakknife was incinerated. This is the first incineration of what many hoped would be a less tragic season than before. However, the Discipline Era lives on, which means we’re sure to still see plenty of incarcerations to come. We wish the Breath Mints Blaseball family well as they continue playing through the loss of their friend and teammate, a literal knife.
IN MEMORIAM: STEVENSON MONSTERA
BNN was sad to report that on the 50th day of Season 4, a Rogue Umpire incident struck the Dallas Steaks, incinerating their teammate and Hitter Stevenson Monstera. Our condolences to family, teammates, incorporeal beings, fans, pets, and others effected by this loss.
in memoriam: Eduardo Ingram
A mere eight days after the Incineration of Stevenson Monstera, the Breath Mints hitter Eduardo Ingram was incinerated by a Rogue Umpire. With the Breath Mints since Day 1 of Season 1 and survived by his wife, Leach Ingram, Eduardo surely will be missed by fans of the team and beyond. Eduardo, a 3* overall player, was replaced by the 2* Lenny Spruce.
in memoriam: Matheo Carpenter
Within 10 days of the Boston Flowers being involved in two Feedback events, they lost their beloved Hitter Matheo Carpenter to a Rogue Umpire. One can never tell what’s coming next when Solar Eclipses are involved.
in memoriam: Combs Duende
The Baltimore Crabs lost their Hitter Combs Duende to a Rogue Umpire Incineration on Day 63 of the Season.
Runolfio Peeper’s award-winning “70 More Blaseball Sonnets” contained the following about Duende:
Our Combs Duende swings a mighty hair
It’s earned them o’er three hundred confirmed hits
So much, they’ll many times be heard to swear
“I’m trained in unarmed combat, little shits!”
They’ve killed the ball in seven hundred ways
Precision never seen before on Earth
And all who’ve battled Combs admit it pays
To really know a clever comment’s worth.
For Combs is merely average most the time
They hear an insult, then their words you’ll mark
A storm will meet the maggot’s verbal crime
Bare hands will hit the ball out of the park.
Be careful ‘ere you give Combs any sasshttps://blaseball.fandom.com/wiki/Combs_Duende
They graduated tops in blaseball class.
in memoriam: Thomas England
On Day 86 of the Season, Thomas England, a Lineup player for the Hawaii Fridays since Day 1 of Season 1, was hit with a Disciplinary Incineration. Replaced by Sixpack Dogwalker, this 2* Hitter is carried on in the hearts of friends, family, and at least one fan.
in memoriam: Morrow Doyle
On Day 98, the second to last day of Season 4’s regular play, one of the League’s most storied players left the mortal plane. Morrow Doyle, the originator of the Grand Unslam and former Shoe Thief played only 40 games for the Flowers before meeting their untimely end.
Following The Grand Unslam and its profound effect on Doyle’s body, they were quoted saying:
I have had each atom in my body pulled apart by the cruel hand of an indifferent universe in an endless moment in which time ceased to have all meaning and I remained frozen in perfect agony for the entire lifetime of the universe. I have reclaimed each and every particle and reconstituted myself by sheer Force of Will to return to the field. I have transcended pain, transcended injury. The only thing I fear now is an Umpire’s fire.Morrow Doyle, before they met the Umpire’s fire.
Morrow will be missed.
BEYOND THE HIGHEST OF HIGHS AND LOWEST OF LOWS, SEASON 4 INCLUDED A FEW EXTRA SURPRISES.
After a few games at the beginning of this season, it was looking like the Hades Tigers, and by extension 2x Blaseball League MVP Jessica Telephone, might just be a normal Blaseball team after all. However, 20 games into the season, this is anything but true. The wielder of the Dial Tone swallowed a stray Peanut and had a yummy reaction, raising her from a 5* to a 5.5* player. Just when we at BNN thought that Jessica Telephone and the Tigers couldn’t get better, we were proven wrong. Of course, Jessica is now on the Pies. So we were… PROVEN WRONG AGAIN.
After an amazing effort that started with a simple Single and that was followed by stealing 2nd, 3rd, and then home base, New York Millennials star player Sandie Turner returned to the team dugout to find the 3-Blood Blagonball. Together with the 5-Blood Blagonball that was found by Splorts Fans before the beginning of Season 4, this is starting to look like a trend. However, I’m not worried!
THIS ONE’S FOR ALL THE PEANUTS
Ah, the incredible Blaseball postseason! The teams that made the quarter-finals of the postseason were basically no surprise at all. In fact, it looked almost identical to the Season 3 postseason. In fact, almost the entire Season 4 postseason looked identical to the Season 3 postseason. The favored teams all made it into the Semi-Finals (after a very exciting series between the Shoe Thieves and Firefighters that had me thinking that the underdogs almost had a chance), the Tigers Smashed Everybody and Then Here We Are Again:
I mean, really, I would go more in-depth into this Postseason but there isn’t much to talk about. The Hades Tigers smashed everybody once again, making it look and feel easy, even after the loss of the Best Hitter in The League, Jessica Telephone, early in the Season. We’ll see how powerful they are AFTER the Election Results are announced though!
THAT’S ALL FOLKS.
Anyways. That’s all we have for now. There it is! The whole season! Amazing! Check in soon yet again for power rankings and predictions for Season 5!