Why Workman Gloom is the GOAT (Greatest of All Time)

There has been no better blaseball player in the Discipline Era than Workman Gloom.

Yes, York Silk and Jessica Telephone have provided huge numbers, but they did so thanks to incredible gunblade bats that boosted their performances. And yes, when out of the shell, Nagomi Mcdaniel has been an unstoppable force at the plate, but they also benefited from a powerful voting bloc of fans who provided them with incredible buffs over the course of a few seasons.

Workman Gloom? They got by on pure athleticism and one fortunate peanut reaction. In terms of natural blaseball talent, there has been no better player in Discipline Era history, and here’s why.

It’s been said that Gloom could see the ball in slow motion when at the plate. Opposing pitchers, such as one-time teammate and canine companion Beasley Gloom, told us that you could see Workman’s eyes light up once they recognized the incoming pitch, and that it happened far more often than you’d expect for the average blaseball player.

That incredible vision at the plate led to Gloom’s .353 batting average, best in the Discipline Era among all players. That includes the gunblade-weilders and uber-buffed Mcdaniel. That average helped fuel and OBP that ranks second all time (.415) and an OPS that ranks third (1.080). But Workman wasn’t just a slap-hitting contact batter.

Gloom was delaced in Season 7, thereby missing all of Season 8. Yet they still rank sixth all-time in triples hit with 136, ahead of speedster Richardson Games and long-time star hitters like Eizabeth Guerra and Sutton Picklestein. Gloom’s slugging percentage of .665 ranks fourth in Discipline Era history …

Oh, and they hit a home run while being incinerated by a rogue umpire. Incredible stuff.

Gloom was a solid defender, but not spectacular. Moist Talkers teammate Eugenia Garbage said they learned everything they know about defense from Gloom, which isn’t a huge compliment because Garbage is much more of a hitter than a fielder. But it speaks to Gloom’s leadership on the field, where they could be found calling for fly outs and making sure teammates knew how many outs there were, if an opposing team had a fourth strike, and ensuring teammates were not attacked by rogue birds.

That leadership was pivotal for both the Shoe Thieves and Moist Talkers, and was an instrumental part of what makes Gloom the best player of their era. There have been players with more impressive skills in various areas, but as an all-around player with natural ability and talent, no one compares. Fellow pros like Jacob Haynes and Knight Urlacher, who have great plate vision like Gloom, say they have spent time watching Gloom’s old tapes and learning from their approach.

Now that Gloom is gone, most fans can only pay tribute via the Hall of Flame. But let this article be a reminder to you that you can pay tribute in another way to Workman Gloom … by remembering them as the best player of the Discipline Era, and appreciating the incredible talent we got to witness on the field for almost seven full seasons.

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