Author: Solodice

The Discipline Era has come and gone after the Hall Stars defeated the Shelled One’s Pods. We’ve witnessed umpires incinerating players, their skills drained from their bodies, and birds that menacingly taunt them. However, we also witnessed greatness as players strived to continue winning games and compete for the ultimate goal of winning an Internet Series Championship. Today, we look back and appreciate what some of the best in the game have accomplished. This is the Team of the Discipline Era, 10 batters and 5 pitchers with some honorable mentions listed after each section.

Disclaimer: All stats are from before the start of Season 12.


Workman Gloom (👟/⚪)

  • Gloom was one of the best hitters and is still the best contact hitter to have played the game. For five full seasons we have records of, they never posted a batting average below .340 during the regular season and only slipped below .340 in their final season … but still posted a .323 batting average. They are the all time leader in batting average at .350. The ability to get on-base wasn’t just solely from their hitting ability. Some would say a walk is even better than a hit. Gloom was incredibly patient at the plate and drew more walks than strikeouts in their career. This combined with a great batting average places Gloom second all time for on-base percentage. Gloom is in the all time top 5 in slugging percentage and on-base plus slugging as well showing they were also a dual threat that could hit with power. Contact, power, and the ability to get themselves to first without flirting with the chance of getting an out has cemented Gloom as one of the best hitters in ILB during the Discipline Era.

Aldon Cashmoney (👐/🏝️/🐅)

  • During the Discipline Era, Cashmoney was consistently good to great. Ve did everything you wanted from a blaseball player and is one of the most multi-dimensional players in the game. Cashmoney holds the record for most total bases and runs scored in blaseball history. On top of that ve is top 5 all time in home runs hit, slugging percentage, on-base plus slugging, runs batted in, stolen bases, and top 10 in hits and on-base percentage. Out of all the best hitters in ILB during the Discipline Era, ve was the best base stealer and out of all the best base stealers ve was the best hitter. Talk about a Swiss army knife of a player. The hitting ability paired with being a menace on the bases made Cashmoney a rare breed where ve was a constant threat no matter what.

Jessica Telephone (🥩/🥧/🐅/🍬)

  • Telephone is one of blaseball’s most famous players and for good reason. Beyond the catchy name and her Dial Tone bat, she just crushed it at the plate helping the Pies to their second Internet Series and in the next season helping the Tigers with their first. Telephone’s career numbers are elite sitting at second all time in on-base plus slugging and second all time in slugging. She is also top 5 all time in batting average and on-base percentage. While she has been passed over in other categories during her career, Telephone’s early career contributions and dominance during the Discipline Era can not be overlooked. Her star power continues even to this day being one of the most recognized names in the splort, and that does mean something.

Jacob Haynes (🌹)

  • Over 9 seasons with complete records, Haynes has been the best batter for the Flowers for 8 seasons straight. He was only surpassed during first season of the Peace & Prosperity Era (Season 11). Over the vast majority of those seasons of being the MVP for the Flowers, Haynes etched his name into the best hitters of blaseball pantheon.  He’s top 5 all time in batting average and on-base percentage along with being top 10 all time in slugging percentage, on-base plus slugging, and total bases. While simply being “just a guy,” Haynes has put together a very impressive hitters resume during the Discipline Era that gave many Flowers fans a bright spot to look forward to even during some of the teams rougher seasons. 

Nagomi Mcdaniel (🐅/🏝️/🦀/👐)

  • In this writer’s opinion, Mcdaniel was the best batter during the Discipline Era. This is even with missing 3 whole seasons because of being shelled after Season 6 . Mcdaniel was something special at the plate, being the all time leader in 3 hitting categories: on-base percentage, on-base plus slugging percentage, and slugging percentage. While being shelled hurt Mcdaniel’s stats in other areas like hits, RBIs, and home runs, her prowess as a hitter couldn’t be matched even with her time away. When she did return, she reminded everyone how good she was. To put a nice little bow on why Mcdaniel was the best batter of the Discipline Era, she also has the 2nd all time best batting average. There was simply no better hitter than her.

York Silk (🏝️/⚪)

  • Silk might be a lovable dork, but he was also at one point the premier batter of the Discipline Era and still maintains multiple records after being shelled for seasons 9 and 10. Silk is top 5 all time in batting average and on-base percentage along with being top 10 all time in slugging percentage and on-base plus slugging percentage. Being shelled, like Mcdaniel and Telephone, hurt his placement in other hitting categories but those elite stats already prove he was an excellent batter. One really just has to look at his Season 4 to see the greatness that was York Silk. That season he was the first and still the only batter to earn the triple crown (best batting average, most runs batted in, and home runs). 

Thomas Dracaena (📱)

  • The totally-not-a-vampire Dracaena has been a season-after-season staple for the Millennials’ offense and a constant menace for pitchers across the league. That begins when you see that Dracaena is number 1 all time in hits and tied number 1 all time in home runs during the Discipline Era. This pitching nightmare continues with Dracaena being top 5 in total bases and top 10 in runs batted in and runs scored. While Dracaena’s career batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, and on-base plus slugging percentage weren’t good enough to crack the all time top 10, they were still elite. One doesn’t get to having the most hits and home runs during the Discipline Era without being pretty good in those categories. They were just not the superstar numbers we’ve seen from others. I’ll leave one other fun stat that will leave any pitcher waking up in a cold sweat. In season 7, Dracaena posted a .541 batting average with runners in scoring position. He was advancing runners and helping his team score with a hit 54.1% of the time there was a runner on second or third base. To no one’s surprise, this is a league record.

Conner Haley (🥩)

  • Haley’s switch from pitcher to batter after season 5 is a move that all Steaks fans will remember. As a pitcher, Haley was not particularly good but as a batter he’d become a superstar of the Discipline Era and one of the splort’s best power hitters. Haley is top 5 all time in slugging percentage and on-base plus slugging percentage. On top of that, he’s also top 10 all time in batting average and home runs. As a reminder, Haley was also a pitcher for the first 5 seasons of the Discipline Era and has only been crushing it at the plate since Season 6. Many other batters have seen 3 extra seasons worth of recorded stats before he picked up a bat. During this incredible 6 season stretch in the Discipline Era, Haley did something that the other prolific power hitters of the era didn’t. He recorded back to back seasons of 40 home runs. Others have posted more home runs than 40 during a season, but they’ve never matched their previous performance like Haley has.

Valentine Games (🦀/👐/📱/🕵️/🌮)

  • The well-traveled Games played for 5 different teams, most among any player in blaseball, during the Discipline Era. However, don’t think of them as a typical journeyman as we know it in splorts. Games started out as a pretty good batter and over the course of the Discipline Era they transitioned into great and finally into a superstar. They rank top 5 all time in total bases and top 10 all time in 5 different batting categories: home runs, runs batted in, on-base plus slugging percentage, slugging percentage, and runs scored. Outside of these important stats, there’s one a particular stand out. Valentine Games is the all time career leader in triples in the ILB with 236. The next closest batter is Caleb Novak with 208 triples. Games has led the league 4 separate times in triples and it became a trademark of their game during the Disciple Era. 

Hahn Fox (🛥️/🌹/🌞)

  • Fox is a well-known name among the teams she has played for yet across the league during the Discipline Era that might have been a little different … but one should know her name now. Hahn Fox is the all time leader in runs batted in and tied number 1 in home runs. She is top 5 all time in total bases and top 10 all time in hits and runs scored. While Fox hasn’t posted wild stats in other batting categories like some of the other batters did during the Discipline Era, they were a key piece for all her teams. Her contributions were finally rewarded with an Internet Series Championship win with the Sunbeams during Season 11.

Honorable Mentions:

Comfort Septemberish (👐/🕵️)

Eugenia Garbage (⚪/👟)

Knight Triumphant (💋)

Eduardo Woodman (🥧)

Kennedy Loser (🦀)

Rodriquez Internet (🍬)

Don Mitchell (💋)

Randy Castillo (🐅)

Beck Whitney (🌹/🛥️)

Alston Cerveza (🥧/⚪)

Pitchers (5)

PolkaDot Patterson (🍬/🦀/⚪)

  • Patterson went through a lot during their blaseball career during the Discipline Era. They were shelled after season 7 and missed seasons 8 and 9 (and was almost eaten by the Monitor). Even with the missed time, Patterson is still one of the best pitching aces in the ILB and maintains stats that will be near impossible to beat. Those stats include being number 1 all time in 7 categories: walks per 9 innings, strikeout-to-walk ratio, strikeouts per 9 innings, strikeout percentage, walks and hits per inning pitched, and walk percentage. Patterson places top 5 all time in earned run average and WHIP. Top 10 all time in hits allowed per 9 innings, home runs allowed per 9 innings, and strikeouts. The stats speak for themselves … and some of them are just pure dominance, like their 93.430 strikeout-to-walk ratio. The next closest pitcher in that category is Dunlap Figueroa at 36.386. PolkaDot Patterson was just something else during the Discipline Era.

August Sky (👐)

  • While only pitching for 3 seasons of recorded stats before stepping off the mound and taking up a bat, Sky put on a pitching clinic during her short pitching career in the Discipline Era. Only pitching for just those seasons has led to her leading all pitchers in career earned run average at 2.32. She was also the first ever pitcher to post an earned run average below 2.00 for the records we have of the Discipline Era. We’ll never know if Sky’s strikeout ability could compete with some of blaseball’s premier aces due to her short stint but she’s still top 5 all time in hits per 9 innings, WHIP,  and home runs allowed per 9 innings. The high ranked hits per 9 and home runs per 9 stats are a testament to her excellent weak contact game. Even though other ace pitchers in the ILB have more seasons on Sky, she’s the only one to have 3 excellent seasons from start to finish during her pitching career.

Elvis Figueroa (🥧)

  • Figueroa had an interesting career trajectory during the Discipline Era. They did not start out as a pitcher and instead were quite an excellent batter. The position change happened after season 4 and Figueroa would be a pitcher during the rest of the Discipline Era. They would finish out the era top 5 all time in strikeout percentage, strikeouts per 9 innings, strikeout-to-walk ratio, walk percentage, and walks per 9 innings. Alongside all that they were top 10 all time in earned run average, hits per 9 innings, WHIP, and home runs per 9 innings. While Figueroa might not have gotten the attention they probably deserved, the stats don’t lie. Elvis Figueroa was one of blaseball’s most elite pitching aces during the Discipline Era.

Alexandria Rosales (🕵️)

  • Rosales was another position switching player during the Discipline Era moving from being a good batter to becoming the Spies’ ace pitcher. From season 7 onward, Rosales entered into the ranks of blaseball’s elite pitching aces.  They are top 10 all time in earned run average, hits per 9 innings, and WHIP. That might seem rather light on the stat front compared to some other names, but Rosales entered into a Spies rotation that was desperately looking for an ace. They answered the call and have helped the Spies reach 4 postseasons in a row. Sometimes a pitcher just comes along and changes a whole outlook for a team. Rosales is one of those pitchers. It’s also worth mentioning that Rosales entered into an exclusive club during the Discipline Era. There are only 10 pitchers that have pitched a season with a sub 2.00 earned run average and Rosales is one of them.

Brock Forbes (🦀)

  • Forbes pitched for one of the best defensive teams of the Discipline Era but his stats back up that he wasn’t solely reliant on it. Forbes is top 5 all time in earned run average, hits per 9 innings, strike percentage, strikeout-to-walk ratio, walk percentage, and walks per 9 innings. To tie it all up nicely, Forbes is top 10 all time in strikeouts per 9 innings. The earned run average and hits per 9 innings are stats that are affected by the defense behind a pitcher but all the strikeout and walk stats are not. Forbes was one of those pitchers that rarely let the ball into play. His strikeout ability and control was among the best during the Discipline Era and he was a key piece in helping the Baltimore Crabs win 3 Internet Series Championships.

Honorable Mentions:

Yosh Carpenter (💋)

Dunlap Figueroa (🐅)

Hiroto Wilcox (🐅)

Axel Trololol (🍬/🔥/🦀)

Sandoval Crossing (🌞)

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