🌹 Wild Low’s Wild Ride: Boston Flowers Season 15 Recap 🌹


By: Kidror

Good Time-of-Day Blaseball Fans! I hope you enjoyed the Siesta and got plenty of rest, I know I did. Let’s kick off the Boston Flowers Season 15 Recap with a speedy breakdown of the Season 14 Election.

Season 14 Election Recap

The previous Election was a rough time at The Garden for the Boston Flowers:

  • Glabe Moon was Exchanged for Schneider Bendie,
  • Owen Picklestein was Foreshadowed for Castillo Turner, and
  • The Crabs Exchanged Parker Parra for Nagomi McDaniel

The damage wasn’t too extensive, but it was certainly noticeable with every trade being a partial downgrade for the Flowers, who had limped across the finish line in Season 14.

An image showing the Millenials making a trade with the Flowers, exchanging Schneider Bendie for Glabe moon.
The Millenials and the Flowers make a trade
An image showing the Crabs making a trade with the Flowers, exchanging Parker Parra for Nagomi McDaniel.
The Flowers and the Crabs make a trade.
An image that states the Flowers have made a roster move. It shows Owen Picklestein being sent to the shadows and Castillo Turner joining the rotation.
Owen Picklestein is sent to the shadows.

Season 15 Results

The Boston Flowers placed 5th in Wild Low, with a total of 44 Wins, and a record of 44-55.

Season 15 was a rollercoaster, Boston spent a majority of their time alternating between racing towards an early PARTYTIME and Free Wills and trying to catch up to the other Wild League teams in order to make the Postseason.

An image of the Wild Low Standings.
First is the Hellmouth Sunbeams. 58 Wins. Record of 58 and 41.
Second is the Miami Dale. 57 Wins. Record of 56 and 43.
Third is the LA Unlimited Tacos. 57 Wins. Record of 56 and 43.
Fourth is the Houston Spies. 45 Wins. Record of 45 and 54.
Fifth is the Boston Flowers. 44 Wins. Record of 44 and 55.
Sixth is the Ohio Worms. 42 Wins. Record of 44 and 55.
 Wild Low End of Season Standings

The closer to the end of the season it got the clearer the view became, the Flowers just couldn’t keep up with the best of the best or the worst of the worst. 

They would simply have to make do with joining PARTYTIME at the end of Day 90, not great and not terrible just like their regular-season performance.

The newest pitcher for Boston, Parker Parra, was a big part of their struggles. They succeeded where recently shadowed pitcher Owen Picklestein had once failed, achieving the mythical 0-20 Record by losing every game they pitched.

🎉 Early Bird gets the Party Time 🐦

Wild Low’s Wild Ride began instantly and the Boston Flowers wanted off. 

By the end of Day 10 Boston had only 3 Wins to their name, but the rollercoaster started going up with them gaining 6 more Wins by Day 20 including trading series against the LA Unlimited Tacos who were favoured to lead Wild Low for a third season in a row.

The Earlseason ended on Day 27, leaving the Boston Flowers in a tight spot with a record of 11-16. Even with the Growth Modification left to boost the team as the season progressed a Postseason finish was a tall order, so too was a PARTYTIME speedrun, with the extra Wins gained from Growth set to impede their ability to lose in the Lateseason.

The Tarot Reading blessed the Boston Flowers for the second season in a row, this time the team received the Afterparty Modification, which lasts for a week (9 Days) and gave them the chance to party so long as the team was losing the current game.

An image of the Feed, dated as the Earlsiesta of Season 15. It reads FLOWERS, AFTER, and then a plus symbol, the Afterparty logo, and the word Afterparty.
Flowers gain Afterparty

However, Boston was still stuck on Wild Low’s Wild Ride, and despite losing almost all of the next 9 games, they spent too much time in the lead, so only Inez Owens partied.

The rollercoaster would continue throughout the Midseason leaving the Flowers climbing up and then dropping down but never quite touching the heights or the depths of the Wild Division.

🏞 🚶 A Walk in the Park 🏞 🚶‍♀️

A Walk in the Park is a new section that will regularly appear in the Flowers Recaps to cover the Renovations to The Garden, the Boston Flowers Ballpark.

An image depicting three symbols: The first is the symbol for Psychoacoustics, the symbol is a person standing with circles surrounding their head. The second is for Solar Panels, it shows a solar panel with a sun just above it. Third is the symbol for Big Buckets, the symbol is a bucket.
The Garden Ballpark Modifications

Once again, two new Renovations were constructed thanks to a significant investment from Flowers fans.

  • Big Buckets
    • For each Home Run that lands in a Bucket an extra Run is scored
  • Grandiosity
    • This option lowers The Garden’s Grandiosity. Currently, this is believed to increase the chance of Home Runs, but lower the chance of Hits.

The new and exciting ‘Secret Bases’ option came in a narrow third place but was eventually overtaken by Grandiosity shortly before the Latesiesta began.

The combination of the two options selected is evidence that the Boston Flowers, who already have a penchant for hitting Home Runs, may be planting seeds of a Ballpark where it’s all about who can hit the biggest dingers.

Picking a direction for their Ballpark is a good sign for the coordination between Boston Flowers fans. If fans continue with this level of coordination, we’ll likely see the seeds begin to sprout and perhaps even bloom.

🐌 Worm Food 🍏

The rollercoaster continued on well into the Lateseason. Boston had finally managed to lose enough to drop to 21st but a large number of teams weren’t far behind, most notably the Ohio Worms, who’d held the position for most of the season.

Day 90 arrived, and thanks to the Miami Dale defeating the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Boston Flowers were finally free to join the Party. 

Free Wills, however, ultimately remained out of their reach; the Growth Modification was too powerful, and two series against the Breckenridge Jazzhands and one against the Chicago Firefighters was all it took for the Wild Low’s Wild Ride to finally come to an end. 

The Ohio Worms had dug their way back down into the bottom of Wild Low and into 21st giving them both an activation of their Bottom Feeder Modification and an extra Will in the Election.

An image of the Feed. It shows Castillo Turner, Dunn Keyes, Cory Twelve, Lenny Spruce, Inez Owens, and Gloria Bugsnax partying.
The Boston Flowers enjoy PARTYTIME.

Historically, the Boston Flowers have had trouble Partying. But after the ups and downs of Season 15, they were more than ready and willing after an excruciating time on Wild Low’s Wild Ride.

Over a third of the roster Partied in the final week: Gloria Bugsnax was the first, followed by Lenny Spruce, Cory Twelve, Dunn Keyes and Castillo Turner. Inez Ownes Partied twice in the final week, adding to their Party earlier in the season.

Even though the Boston Flowers failed to either reach the Postseason or enter PARTYTIME quickly they made up for the lost time. The seven Parties in the final week saw multiple key players improve, which will help even out the Flowers roster, which has been known to suffer from inconsistency problems.

🌏 Many Voices, One Will 🌹

The Election was certainly a unique one for the Flowers, multiple plans and strategies were thrown around but in the end Boston was a united front. In a miracle, every single vote for Boston fans was for Equivalent Exchange, swapping Parker Parra with Brock Forbes.

 An image of the Feed. It shows the Flowers choosing to exchange Parker Parra for Brock Forbes.
Parker Parra is exchanged for Brock Forbes

Jokes aside, the Boston Flowers’ second Will was Plunder, targeting Crab-turned-Flower-turned-Crab Nagomi McDaniel. As it turns out, the Flowers aren’t the greatest pirates. They forgot the most important part of Plundering— bringing the treasure back with you.

The Consumers had yelled McDaniel! McDaniel! McDaniel! And Nagomi was their food at home. Nagomi was attacked by Consumers one too many times and ran out of their Soulscream causing them to become [REDACTED] and vanish from the Baltimore Crabs roster.

An image of the description for REDACTED. It states “This Player is Redacted”.
A description of the REDACTED modifier.

The attempt to Plunder them failed, giving them the Unstable Modifier, which gives them an increased chance of being Incinerated under a Solar Eclipse and leaving them stranded wherever they are. 

This isn’t the first time Plunder has broken badly for the Flowers. They Plundered Sutton Picklestein in Season 13 only for them to be Plundered again by the Breath Mints and then return to the Hall before the Election even ended. 

After this second failed attempt, I think Boston should give up on their dream of becoming the Pirate Kings.

🌱 Growing Strong 🍀

If you didn’t look past the surface, I couldn’t fault you for saying the Boston Flowers haven’t gained much this season. But once you get into the weeds you can see the truth.

Season 15 was full of gains for Boston, they became Party animals and increased their stats a total of eight times, and replaced 0-20 pitcher Parker Parra with a substantial replacement in the form of Brock Forbes. 

The Flowers ended the season with 44 Wins and 55 Losses. If Forbes had been in Parker’s place and managed to even reach a record of 10-10 that would’ve put Boston at 54 Wins and 45 Losses, just three Wins away from a Postseason appearance.

On top of that, the eight Parties happened right where Boston needed them— their already solid batters and pitchers improved across the board. 

Sure, neither of the two weakest players, Moses Mason or Chambers Simmons improved but thinking about future growth that’s a good thing.

A minor improvement is unlikely to turn either Moses or Chambers into star players and leaves the Boston Flowers with clear avenues for improvement by Alternating or Exchanging Moses and Moving Chambers across to the lineup. [Editor’s Note: Moses Mason was Incinerated on Day 2 of Season 16.]

We may not see Boston win a Championship in Season 16. We may not even see them make the Postseason. But all they need is one good Election and they’ll become a team to be feared.

👋 That’s all folks! 👋

Once again thank you for your readership, I am continuously humbled by your support. If you want to support us I highly recommend checking out our other articles, such as the Power Rankings.

For now, it’s time for me to grow! Enjoy Season 16!

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