Author: Traci J
After their rise to the top of the Mild Low in Season 13, and their run to the Mild League Finals, expectations were unusually high for the Hawai‘i Fridays, granting them a sixth-place spot in BNN’s own Power Rankings. Though the ranking was overly optimistic, one line was particularly prescient: “It may come down to which teams have the more advantageous schedules.”
Coming out of the Season 13 elections, the Fridays largely remained unchanged while their Mild Low friends, the Magic and the Moist Talkers, made big Offseason moves, each acquiring a star pitcher for their rotation. Hawai‘i drew a tough schedule in facing these teams, the eventual top two teams in the ILB, for nearly a third of their games. They went 6-24 against them, but in the rest of their games, they looked a bit more like last Season’s Fridays, going 39-30.
The end result was the Fridays getting back to their Discipline Era roots of playing for PARTYTIME. But as Friday fans are well aware, even without Postseason on the table, stories abound in Blaseball. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights.
New Players, Who This?
Season 14 saw the debut of pitcher Fenry Marlow, pulled up from the Shadows to replace Lizzy Pasta. They are the first rookie to debut for Hawai‘i since the team’s most recent incineration of Thomas England back in Season 4. Marlow seems good with decently low walks and high strikeouts but was top 10 worst pitchers in the league at allowing hits and home runs. Their flaws were enough to achieve the worst team record of 5-15 and 6.05 Earned Run Average (ERA).
Marlow is one to watch if the Fridays continue to party. They may look bad now, but Fridays’ pitching ace Stevenson Heat had similar statistical output prior to a pair of Season 9 parties. Heat was top ten worst pitchers in runs allowed that season but threw the league a changeup by becoming one of the top ten best pitchers the very next season.
Yosh Carpenter, the Season 13 Feedback replacement for Gabriel Griffith, performed quite well in their first full season as a pitcher for Hawai‘i. Carpenter led the team in ERA with a 2.31 mark, but inconsistent run support got them a 9-11 record.
High -ides and Low -ibes
Flooding was frequent across the league, and The Cookout was no exception. On Day 10, Juice Collins set the Elsewhere speedrun record, returning in the same at-bat they disappeared— a mere five pitches after being swept away. However, Collins was swept away again on Day 41 and did not come back nearly as quickly.
Sutton Dreamy and Christian Combs both followed them Elsewhere on Day 49, briefly leaving Hawai‘i with only five of eight batters until they returned over the next few games. Greer Gwiffin was the next to follow Collins, being swept away on Day 56. Games came and went with two Fridays missing before finally they both returned, Scattered and with no vibes, on Day 79. Here’s hoping Col-i– and Gwi–in have speedy recoveries.
Boosts and Unboosts
Event-based stat changes saw the Fridays’ strengths get stronger and their weaknesses get weaker. Spears Taylor had an allergic reaction during Peanut weather, reducing their batting stars down to 1.5, the lowest on the team. Their defense is still vibing high at 5.5 stars.
Fresh off of two straight seasons of making the playoffs, the team only partied three times in the 12 games for which they were eligible. Twice-infused 5-star batter Alyssa Harrell partied, bringing their Baserunning up to 5 stars. Already dominant pitchers Yosh Carpenter and Stevenson Heat partied as well, bumping their pitching ratings by half a star each.
No Credit? No Problem!
A new Credit rating introduced by the Coin in the Earlsiesta saw teams gain mysterious blinking red dots and players attacked by Consumers, which reduces their stats. The Fridays apparently did not raise the attention of these enigmatic creditors. In spite of their Sinking Ship, they ended the season comfortably at C level.
Speaking of siestas, the Fridays completed two Renovations to The Cookout during Latesiesta, picking up a Peanut Mister and lowering their ballpark’s Inconvenience by 7%. While this iteration of the team is far from the most allergic the Fridays have been, the Mister should do wonders for peace of mind. A more convenient park should allow the small ball playing Fridays to up their hits and steals during home games, a much-needed boost for a middling offense.
Former Friday Watch
The Fridays have seen a lot of roster turnover through the years, having only three Season 1 Fridays players still on their roster. But it doesn’t matter whether a player was hatched in Hawai‘i or only stopped by for a few games: once a Friday, always a Friday. Here’s a look at some of these forever Fridays’ accomplishments around the league.
Boston’s Nagomi McDaniel, plundered in the Season 12 election, finally stepped out of the Shadows and made the switch to pitcher. Unburdened by Flinch, Nagomi flexed their six and a half pitching stars all the way to a league-leading 1.300 ERA and eight shutouts. Not far behind was San Francisco’s Gabriel Griffith, a late Season 13 feedback swap. Boosted by the Lovers’ Charm modifier, Griffith sailed to a second place 1.380 ERA with zero walks all season.
Aldon Cashmoney, recently reacquired from the Hellmouth Sunbeams by the Hades Tigers, continued to put money in Fans’ pockets as one of the league’s top-hitting Idols. Sixpack Dogwalker, a Receiver on the Steaks, picked up a variety of temporary modifications via Echo over the Lateseason, as did frequent team hopper NaN. Karato Bean’s Spies narrowly missed the Postseason, while Basilio Fig and James Mora helped the Tacos and Magic, respectively, to 60+ wins and deep playoff runs.
RIV York, Our Dork
Hawai‘i icon York Silk was incinerated on Day 87. York made their debut for the Fridays in Season 2, and after picking up the legendary Vibe Check bat in that season’s election, they became one of the best sluggers in the league, setting the Discipline Era single-season home run record. They were shelled at the end of Season 8, were taken by the Pods in Season 9, and fell to Canada in the fallout of the Shelled One’s demise, where they played until their incineration.
In spite of their regular-season excellence, York was never able to power Hawai‘i to the Postseason. As a Moist Talker, they made the playoffs twice but lost in the divisional round both times— most recently to their old team, the Fridays. After their death this season, the Moist Talkers rallied from York’s loss, leading the regular season with 69 wins, and winning the ILB Championship in their honor.
In terms of stats, significance to Blaseball as a whole, and impact on the world at large, York Silk is, without question, the greatest Hawai‘i Friday of all time. To paraphrase the Shelled One, they truly are Our Dork—not Hawai‘i’s dork, nor Canada’s dork, but everyone’s. Rest in Violence.
The Fridays had an eventful but head-scratching election. Somehow, 14% of their votes went towards trading away their best batter, Harrell, for then-Dale member and former Friday Baldwin Breadwinner, a one star batter. However, the Dale had already reversed a previous season’s steal by Exchanging Logan Horseman for Breadwinner, meaning Harrell ended up on the division rival Baltimore Crabs.
Furthering the Dale connection, the Fridays happened to pick up Roamin’ star batter Beck Whitney, whom the Dale revoked in another confusing move. This bumps the team’s Sinking Ship bonus down to 0%, though a six-star batter like Whitney is a nice consolation prize.
Spears Taylor, hardly the best at drawing walks even before their allergic reaction, will now walk on one fewer ball thanks to the Fridays’ only Blessing. Hopefully, this will get them on base more often and counteract their allergic reaction this season.
Finally, on a 2% vote, the Fridays gave up their second best batter, Greer Gwiffin, to plunder Tacos superstar and number one Idol Valentine Games. Games deserves the hype, and though the Idol gains may be smaller with their later spot on the Fridays’ larger lineup, Games is projected to be the Fridays’ first batter with over 1.000 on-base plus slugging (OPS) since Nagomi McDaniel, and before them, York Silk.
Overall, the Fridays’ pitching stayed mostly the same, and their batting has improved in power but decreased in consistency. The Fridays’ small ball style suffers under Flooding, so adding a pair of home run threats could boost their offense.
That said, they have their work cut out for them, as they are likely to draw a very tough schedule in the Mild Low. The league-leading Magic and Moist Talkers only improved this Offseason, and the Baltimore Crabs may see quite the resurgence after acquiring three big bats of their own: Nagomi McDaniel, York Silk, and the aforementioned Harrell, all former Fridays.
That’s right. York Silk is back from the dead. They have the Debt mod, which has never been seen in action on a batter. And they’re batting for the Crabs, a fellow Mild Low team.
Once again, the Fridays’ schedule is going to have a major impact on the course of their season, but this time, there’s nothing as paltry as a winning record or a Postseason Birth on the line. How many times will Hawai‘i face the Crabs? And when they do, what exactly will York Silk do to them? If Jaylen Hotdogfingers’ Season 7 was any indication, the Fridays may be giving up more than just home runs in Season 15.
Get those vibes up Friday fans! And welcome back to Blaseball.