This is the third installment in our three-part series recapping the LA Unlimited Tacos’ exploits in the Coffee Cup, you can read Part 2 here.
Author: Pastime “Frijoles” Jones
The Coffee Cup Finals
The Tacos’ own Halexandrey Walton made it to the finals of the Coffee Cup with her teammates on Inter Xpresso, and they were up against a serious challenger, FWXBC, who’d beaten the Society Data Witches in 3 games in the semi-finals.
FWXBC vs. Inter Xpresso
FWXBC took the lead early in game 1, with Thomas Dracaena and Summers Preston both hitting home runs in the 1st inning. Dracaena followed his first home run of the game up with another in the 3rd inning, and Nagomi Nava stole home after getting caught earlier, pushing their lead to 4-0, and then pushed ahead by another 0.3 unruns when Arturo Huerta struck out Sandy Turner. Xpresso finally started scoring in the 5th inning, closing the lead until they were just 0.6 runs behind. And the score stayed at 3.4 to 4 in favor of FWXBC until the 7th inning, when Vapor, Walton, and Turner scored two runs, thanks to a double from Walton. From there, they were off, with some base thievery from Glabe Moon and a couple of home runs from Baby Doyle and Vapor. Xpresso won game 1 of the finals 11.4 to 5.
In Game 2, Summers Pony, pitching for FWXBC, didn’t give Xpresso a chance to utilize their powerhouse lineup. Cornelius Games wasn’t giving up anything to FWXBC either, though, and no one scored until the bottom of the 6th, when Baby Doyle hit a home run for Xpresso. Nagomi Nava came back with her own home run at the top of the 9th, tying it up again, and the game went into extra innings. At the bottom of the 12th, it was still tied, at 2-2, when Glabe Moon hit the second home run for Xpresso, winning the game.
After a tough game 2, Xpresso came out swinging in game 3, with home runs from Doyle, Walton, Ren Morin, and Vapor, all in the first 5 innings. Walton brought out another home run in the 9th inning, and Inter Xpresso won the game and the Coffee Cup.
So, after all that…
Well, that was long. It’s a good thing I made myself another cup of coffee.
The Coffee Cup certainly livened up the Grand Siesta, letting ILB players stretch their arms and legs (and/or various other appendages), and even bringing in some new blaseball players for fans to root for.
When the Cup concluded, the current Boss of the ILB congratulated Inter Xpresso, told everyone to have a good Siesta, and reminded us that when blaseball returns, there will be Snacks.
Everyone on Inter Xpresso received Percolated energy. As per usual, no one knew what this meant. We now know it can occasionally allow a player to “Perk Up” and give them a 20% boost for a game.
But this excessively long article is supposed to be about the Tacos, so let’s summarize.
Halexandrey Walton saw the most game time, stepping up to the plate 68 times in total, with 5 home runs, just 8 strikeouts, and a 0.985 OPS.
However, Walton was outperformed in most areas by Valentine Games, who managed 4 home runs in just 47 appearances at the plate and an impressive 1.447 OPS in the Cup.
Mcdowell Mason performed well in the five games he got to play, with a batting average higher than his regular season average, and 4.5 runs batted in with just 17 appearances at the plate.
Vito Kravitz didn’t quite match his regular season performance, batting 0.200 with just a 0.520 OPS in the Cup. He’s only got a 0.214 regular season BA, but his OPS is at 0.688, and he’s got more home runs to his name than some of his teammates with higher stats, so it’s unfortunate that he didn’t get a chance to do more in the Cup.
Rat Mason and Basilio Fig also didn’t have great showings. Their Coffee Cup team didn’t make it past Round 1, so neither of them had a chance to really get going, and in the few games they played, neither of them managed a single home run, or even a run batted in.
The Tacos pitchers Sexton Wheerer and Peanut Bong both made it to Round 2 and earned themselves some batting stats. Wheerer’s OPS was 0.512, and he even got the chance to hit a home run. Bong had a lot of outs, but he also ran 11 total bases—more than everyone but Games and Walton.
In conclusion, well, some Tacos played some blaseball. Coffee fell from the sky (or space?), and, we can assume, was likely consumed in great quantities. Games were won. Games were lost. And Games herself did what she does best and hit a bunch of blaseballs really hard. And that about sums it up. This has been Frijoles Jones, roving reporter, bringing you the Tacos news you probably didn’t ask for.