Rest in violence, Workman Gloom.
The former Shoe Thieves and Moist Talkers batter will go down as one of the best players in blaseball history and will be missed following their incineration in Game 81 of Season 7.
They even left us with a parting gift, hitting a home run while being incinerated by a rogue umpire.
Statistically, it can be argued that Gloom was a top three batter in blaseball history, alongside Jessica Telephone and Nagomi Mcdaniel. Gloom hit over .340 in each season prior to Season 7, and finished with more walks than strikeouts each and every campaign in the Discipline Era.
No player in the history of the game has a better recorded batting average than Gloom, who ranks fourth all-time in walks, second in triples, fourth in total bases, second in hits, second in OBP, third in OPS, sixth in runs scored, and fifth in slugging percentage.
Gloom took part in four postseasons, two with each of their teams. In 30 playoff games, Gloom drove in 14 runs and hit .341.
Incinerations are a cruel part of the splort of blaseball, but let’s use this one as a chance to reflect one the career of one of the best to ever take to the field. If and when there is a blaseball hall of fame, Workman Gloom should be the first name enshrined in the building.
We’d even argue the blaseball hall of fame should be NAMED AFTER Workman Gloom, one of the best who will ever play the game.