Every Blaseball Team’s Star of the New Era
Season N1 is in the books, and the Post Season is underway. But before we get too far into the drama of the playoff and the intrigue of the elections, let’s take a look back at the notable players from the first season of the new era of ILB.
Specifically, here’s one player you should know about from every Blaseball club!
🔱 Atlantis Georgias – And I immediately cheat and start with two names: Let me tell you all about Son Jensen and Emmet Atomic. The Georgia’s ace, Jensen, went 14-4 and issued only seven walks while striking out 121. Atomic finished with a 12-6 record, walking only four batters and whiffing 86. These aren’t astronomical strikeout figures, but with walks that low, these are tough pitchers to beat.
🦀 Baltimore Crabs – It was a fairly quiet season in Baltimore compared to the team’s storied history in the previous eras of Blaseball, and the team really lacked in star power. However, Ramirez Winters is a name to know. They finished with 10 triples, one of only 29 players to accomplish the feat, and led the Crabs in homers, RBIs and batting average, while also chipping in with 21 sacrifices, top 10 in the league.
🌹 Boston Flowers – Amir Murphy cracked the top 20 in ILB with 166 strikeouts in the first season of the era, but was unlucky to walk away with a 7-11 pitching record thanks in part to low run support but also a bit of a homer problem. If Murphy can keep the ball in the park in the future, this flower should blossom in the coming seasons.
👐 Breckenridge Jazz Hands – Veteran ILBer Qais Dogwalker finished in the top 20 of ILB in OPS and led the Jands in doubles, triples, sacrifice hits, RBIs and batting average. Their 23 sacrifice hits were tied for fourth in the league.
⚪ Canada Moist Talkers – Simon Haley! The former slugger for the Shoe Thieves who hit the splort’s first pentaslam is back as a pitcher, and showed off some incredible skills this season. Haley sat down 128 batters via the strikeout while walking only 5, giving them the seventh best strikeout-to-walk ratio for Season N1. (Eris Street? They’re good, too.)
👟 Charleston Shoe Thieves – Jammy Decksetter was a star on offense for the Thieves, ranking 13th in Blaseball in OPS and being one of only 17 players to hit 20 or more homers over the 90 game season.
🔥 Chicago Firefighters – It wasn’t exactly a season to write home about for the Firefighters, but they have a promising talent on the mound in Karato Rangel. The team’s ace was one of only seven pitchers to strike out more than 150 batters and walk 10 or fewer over the course of the regular season.
🛠️ Core Mechanics – We have to talk about Chorby Short, right? The fan favorite took to the mound and was incredible, demonstrating pinpoint precision with 114 strikeouts and only four walks, the third-best K/BB ratio in ILB. The Mechanics as a whole were great at keeping the ball in the zone, issuing the third-fewest walks of any pitching staff.
🥩 Dallas Steaks – Vanille Okidoke was one of 15 ILBers to hit for better than .330 on the season, adding 28 home runs, second in the league. That’s more homers than the next three best players from the Steaks combined!
🐅 Hades Tigers – Mehdi Caper was one of 15 pitchers to surpass 170 strikeouts in Season N1, and finished with the best ERA in blaseball at 1.37. However, poor run support meant they could only manage a 9-9 win-loss record, but that’s not a great reflection of the dominant season on the mound for Caper, who was arguably the best pitcher in blaseball.
🌴 Hawai’i Fridays – Famous Owens lived up to their name with a noteworthy performance at the plate, ranking 16th in OPS in the league (one of 18 players above 1.000) and leading the Fridays in homers (19, tied with Valenzuela), RBIs (65) and hits (122).
🕵️ Houston Spies – Terrell Bradley finished 12th in the league in RBIs for the Spies, thanks in large part to 20 sacrifice hits, one of only 15 players to hit that mark, and the only player with at least 20 sacrifices and 15 home runs.
🍬 Kansas City Breath Mints – Thanks to the facts machine, you already know about Stretch Sutton, so let’s instead focus on Plums Blather. Part of a dominant Mints’ pitching staff, Plums struck out 190 batters, third-most in ILB, and finished with the fifth-best ERA (1.71).
🌮 LA Unlimited Tacos – Despite joining midseason, Malik Destiny led the Tacos in triples hit with 13 (tied for ninth in the league in two-thirds the plate appearances of other leaders) and posted the second-best OPS on their team.
🍗 Mexico City Wild Wings – There’s almost too much to say about this team, so let’s focus on someone whose name doesn’t show up on the home run leaderboard: Letitia Diop. Diop had the second-most sacrifice hits in Blaseball with 25, and they’re one of four Wings players in the top eight in the league in runs batted in.
🚤 Miami Dale – Malik Romayne posted the third-best ERA in ILB in Season N1, ranking seventh with 178 strikeouts and walking only 12. Their 14-4 record helped lift the Dale into the Post Season to begin the new era.
🌞 Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams – Jorge Owens was the only non-Wings player to top 80 runs batted in this season, tying for the league lead with 86. That, combined with their 26 homers, helped propel a well-rounded Moab Hellmouth team into the Post Season and a spot in the Semifinals.
📱 New York Millennials – Not much went right for the Mills in Season N1, but Alejandro Navarro is a keeper on the mound. They finished with 111 strikeouts and only eight walks, a stat line hardly deserving of a 7-11 win-loss record.
🐌 Ohio Worms – Malin Hsu joined the 20 home run club in Season N1 for the Worms while finishing with the eighth-best batting average in blaseball. They led Ohio in pretty much every category, including hits, singles, doubles, RBIs and OPS.
🥧 Philly Pies – Jira Sealegs was one of only four players with more than 20 home runs and fewer than 35 strikeouts. They made good, consistent contact for the Pies, as well, ranking 10th in ILB in batting average on the season.
💋 San Francisco Lovers – Alvie Kesh finished tied for ninth in RBIs with 67, slugging 22 homers and batting .310 to lead the Lovers in all three categories. They also struck out 14 fewer times than their next closest teammate, Kiki Junior Jr.
🎸 Seattle Garages – A run-producer who doesn’t rely on the long ball, Hendricks Richardson finished with 68 RBIs despite only 11 homers. That’s thanks in part to 54 doubles, tied for 11th in the league, and a respectable 14 sacrifice hits.
🏋️ Tokyo Lift – Tad Blortles finished with a 7-11 record on the season for the Lift, and while they did give up a good number of homers, to finish with 99 strikeouts to only six walks shows good promise for a Lift team looking for big gains in Season N2.
✨ Yellowstone Magic – The League’s OPS leader (not counting Natha Spruce, who played in only a few games for the Lift) was the Magic’s own Kiki Avci, one of only 19 players to hit for a “quadruple double” on the season (more than 10 of each: singles, doubles, triples and home runs). They also drove in 73 runs, fourth-best in the league.
Special thanks to Abyline on the SIBR Discord for help parsing and compiling season stats!