Flower Power: Boston Flowers Dream Team

By: Kidror

The end of the Expansion Era has come and gone, and with all this time on our hands we’ve been presented the perfect opportunity to explore the last 24 seasons in more depth.

And so the All-Star project was born, what would each team’s All-Star roster look like?

Many teams have explored the idea so far, and now it’s the Boston Flowers turn.

Here are the rules below:

1. Team sizes will be standard. 9 Lineup and 5 Rotation Players. Players cannot be considered Elsewhere or Shelled.
2. The Selection must represent a single season played with that team.
3. The player must have played for at least one full season with that team.
4. A player can only be selected once across all 14 slots.
5. No Replicas are allowed.

Lineup

Let’s dig in starting with the first three batters:

Jacob Haynes (S24) – BA 0.384 – OPS 1.151 
Scores Baserunner (S13) – BA 0.357 – OPS 1.091
Lenny Spruce (S24) – BA 0.354 – OPS 1.131

Jacob, Scores, and Lenny represent the most consistent batters to take to the plate in a Flowers jersey and thus make the perfect choices to open things up. 

In Season 24 the Boston Flowers managed to finish in “1st” despite the… shenanigans, and my investigation into their All-Star roster has shown that it was quite possibly their best season player-performance wise too. 

Four of our best performing players came from that Season, beating out Seasons 11, and 18 both tied with 2 players each.

Jacob Haynes, a Season 1 veteran, had the most consistent batting average in team history with a solid 0.384 BA in Season 24.

Scores Baserunner came out hard early at the beginning of the Expansion Era cementing themself as the second most consistent batter in team history.

Lenny Spruce has stolen quite a few bases in their time, taking 27 in Season 24 despite being on a 13 player long Lineup.

Next, we have the cleanup crew:

Margarito Nava (S24) – SLG 0.782 – BA 0.345
Hiroto Cerna (S9) – SLG 0.723 – BA 0.327
Beck Whitney (S4) – SLG 0.618 – BA 0.312

Margarito Nava is an all-around great batter, but in particular, they’re the single best slugger the team has ever had, sure to bring their teammates home with an impressive 0.782 SLG. 

If they don’t succeed, Hiroto Cerna will burn bright and follow up with their impressive SLG of 0.723.

Beck Whitney is well-known for their performances on the Miami Dale and the Hawaii Fridays but their skill at hitting home runs by the dozen existed even back during their time on the Boston Flowers.

And last but not least, the final three:

Nic Winkler (S11) –  BA 0.307 – OPS 1.01
Glabe Moon (S14) – BA 0.284 – OPS 0.950
Gloria Bugsnax (S11) –  BA 0.274 – OPS 0.932

Finding the last three was the hardest part of the endeavor. Boston has spent so long with an oversized Lineup that after our best and brightest there’s a long list of competent batters ready to fill in.

Ultimately, three well-known Flowers came out to round things out.

Nic has been consistent since their birth in Season 2, Glabe Moon is a defensive powerhouse who now rests in the Vault as a Legend, and finally, Gloria Bugsnax, a thief of more than just bases.

Rotation

Lowe Forbes (S24) 0.52 ERA
Chorby Short (S18)  2.15 ERA
Nagomi McDaniel (S14) 1.30 ERA
Cory Twelve (S18) 2.35 ERA
Castillo Turner (S21) 1.35 ERA

Lowe is a newcomer to the team, having been taken in Season 23 from the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, and only left the Shadows on Day 1 of Season 24. But thanks to the Underhanded Modification, they quickly took the lead with an ERA of merely 0.52.

Season 18 was Boston’s strongest pitching season, with both Chorby Short and Cory Twelve joining our All-Star team from that point in time. 

Chorby Short had 8 Shutouts in the regular season, with Cory Twelve only one behind with 7 Shutouts. Cory Twelve gave out a grand total of 0, yes, 0 walks in the regular season of Season 18.

If you ever look up the definition of “giving no quarter” all you’ll see is a photo of these two powerhouses, they were responsible for a combined 688 strikeouts in the Season 18 regular season.

Not to be outdone, Legendary player Nagomi McDaniel made the most of their time on the Flowers, also reaching 8 Shutouts and 220 strikeouts despite playing on a larger Rotation.

And of course, the true Boston Flowers All-Star Castillo Turner is here to close out the roster. Castillo Turner has done many impressive things in their career, both as a legendary batter and pitcher but their true home is throwing strike after strike at the mound.

Castillo only narrowly falls behind Nagomi McDaniel in terms of ERA, with a respectable 5 Shutouts and 255 strikes to their name in Season 21.

Closing Words

The Boston Flowers tend to be overlooked due to their history of a long Lineup and weak roster, understandably so. But in digging into the numbers, it really shows that they had potential. 

In the future, if they choose to slim down their roster they’ll quickly dig themselves out of Underbracket contention and right into the Overbracket… if those are even things when Blaseball returns. 

Nobody knows what the future holds, so only one thing is certain: We’re the Flowers!

This article is part of the Dream Team Series, in which our writers look back on the Discipline and Expansion Eras to create the strongest version of our beloved teams. Read the first in the series here.