Welcome to the Boston Flowers Season 23 Recap!
This was a Season of great change for Boston, we had new players among us, reached the Postseason, and had two players feature in the Semi-Centennial.
Let’s Dig In!
Season 22 Election Recap
The Boston Flowers tried to perform a cool trick in the Election, but fate can be cruel and we got tricked instead.
The plan was to trade Chorby Short for Castillo Turner, and then place Chorby Short back in our Shadows. Thus keeping both beloved players, and having Chorby avoid being taken by the Mass Attractor Blessing.
The plan went off perfectly, up until it didn’t.
Yep. That’s us. I bet you’re wondering how we got here.
Okay, it’s not that complicated. The ordering of our Wills meant we swapped Chorby into the Shadows before trading them for Castillo and then moving them back to our Shadows.
This left both Castillo Turner and Chorby Short in our Shadows when the Seattle Garages won the Gachapon Blessing, which gave them a player from every other team’s Shadows.
We’re the Flowers, so naturally, we lost Castillo Turner.
We did manage to win a Blessing of our own in the Election at least.
The Insider Trading Blessing gave each of our players with an empty item slot an item with the “Traitor” Modification, which lets players swap items with their teammates.
We are the Flowers though, so keep that Modification in mind for later.
Season 23 Results
The Boston Flowers finished last in Wild Low with a total of 49 Wins, and a record of 34-65.
Over the course of the Season, we gained a huge 15 Extra Wins, which was the third-highest amount in the League, narrowly behind the Sunbeams and Moist Talkers – who each gained 16 Extra Wins.
As the Division Losers Boston headed back down to the Underbracket for another go but the team had grown too tall to go that low and hit our head on the doorframe.
Two Boston Flowers, Alberto Tosser and Jaylen Hotdogfingers, participated in the Semi-Centennial Exhibition Match. Prominent former Flowers, Castillo Turner and Beck Whitney, also laced up and played in the match.
Let’s get started by talking about the Earlseason.
One thing was left out in our Election recap— with the help of The Fifth Base, Baldwin Breadwinner had Super Roamed over to our Rotation at the end of the Election.
Our Traitorous players quickly took to playing a game of Musical Chairs but whoever doesn’t finish the week with a chair has to leave forever.
Because We’re the Flowers our Election misfortune didn’t just claim Castillo Turner, but also Chorby Short who stole the base and roamed away to join the New York Millennials.
The Earlseason was weird. Wild Low took a heavy lead over the League in terms of Wins, spending several periods of time with most of the Division above the rest of entire other Divisions.
There was a clear gap between our ability and the rest of Wild Low, but we persevered in trying to keep up with them anyway.
We made ample use of our Fax Machine and a little of our Voicemail over the course of the Season, starting early on Day Three. Below are just a few of our many, many Faxes.
You probably noticed a new name to the Boston Flowers in those Faxes and we’ll talk about how that happened later.
Despite our best efforts to improve our team midseason and 10 extra Wins, by the Latesiesta the space between us and the rest of our Division had widened enough that the only direction left to go in was down.
It’s the Latesiesta and that means it’s time for…
🏞 🚶 A Walk in the Park 🏞 🚶♀️
Season 23 was Blaseballs Semi-Centennial, and that meant it was time to Party!
So Party the Boston Flowers shall!
We came up with Operation: Rave Party to fulfill our need to turn The Garden into the perfect place to party.
Step 1: Get a working Light Switch so we can have a Rave.
The Light Switch also makes The Garden flip its eDensity, so now instead of weighing us down it’s sending us soaring upwards.
Step 2: You need to wait for it to be Night to host a Rave, so we chose to make The Garden have more Night Weather.
We didn’t know what it did at the time, but we now know that Night Weather causes a “Night Shift” that swaps a Shadows Player onto the active roster, boosting both players’ stats.
Step 3: Glitter, Always More Glitter.
The economy had continued to drift off with the losses of economic giants such as Paula Turnip, Alberto Tosser, Don Mitchell, & Wyatt Glover so this time there were fewer gifts to go around.
We decided to take our fate into our own hands and head down to the Party early.
The Squiddish Egg Drop was because well, why not?
The funding for our gifts came from the generosity of our fellow teams.
The Dogs made an appearance this time, with the Magic and Mechanics both returning to help us out as they’ve done before.
We appreciate you coming to our aid time and time again. Many Teams, One League.
Armed with Early to the Party, Boston made several sprints towards Party Time. First, we took an 8 Game Losing Streak from Day 77 to 84, and then another from Day 86 to 93.
We are The Flowers, so we stumbled near the end and entered the Party a few days later than anticipated but entered at a respectable Day 85.
As I mentioned earlier, Boston had some unfamiliar faces on our roster.
Those were obtained as a result of the Ratified Thieves Guild. Every time we lost by 9 or more runs while playing at The Garden, we would steal a player or item from our opponent’s shadows— and we hit the jackpot not once, but twice!
On Day 69, we obtained Campos Arias from the Breckenridge Jazz Hands and then on Day 83, we stole from the Jazz Hands again, taking yet another beloved player this time in the form of Lowe Forbes.
We weren’t done yet. On Day 88, the Wild Wings were forced to hand over Cat McSriff, and then on Day 90, we took Pangolin Ruiz for good measure.
Now armed and ready with three new players we were ready to head down into the Underbracket once more.
We began the Underchampionship sitting in a comfortable 3rd Seed, dodging the Wild Card Round.
The Wildcard LA Unlimited Tacos defeated the Jazz Hands with a quick 2-0, moving on to face down the Hades Tigers while we took on the Atlantis Georgias.
In Game 1, the Georgias dominated the lead, scoring run after run, beating us down 12-5.
But this is the Underbracket and here the losing team Wins, so this would’ve been fantastic news if it wasn’t for the interference of Sun 2 letting Atlantis gain a win by scoring 10 runs, and then a second Win by leaving us in the lead when the game ended.
Game 2 went the same way with Atlantis leading 13 runs to 2, but this time the weather had fallen in our favor.
The Black Hole had our back and, thanks to a 9th Inning rally from our opponents, we managed to tie up the series and go into Game 3 with a fighting chance.
Game 3 took place under Sun 2 again but it was our turn to fail Sun 2.
The game remained close until the seventh when we pulled ahead of the Georgias but tripped and fell four Runs short of activating Sun 2 and our a chance at extending the series into a fourth game.
Atlantis Georgias 3 – 2 Boston Flowers
That was that for our Postseason run at the Championship but play wasn’t over for all of our players.
Jaylen Hotdogfingers and Alberto Tosser were selected to play in the Semi-Centennial Match as part of the Rising Stars against the Vault Legends.
Tosser took the opportunity to betray someone other than the Boston Flowers, and traded away their Traitor Chunky Necklace for Sexton Wheerer’s Travelling Noise-Cancelling Night Vision Sunglasses of Intelligence.
Whew! Try saying that one five times fast huh?
When the Vault Legends began Heisting players from the Rising Stars and Forging them into Legendary Players Jaylen saw the opportunity to be involved in more plot and was captured.
The game was called a draw despite the Rising Stars winning 7-5 at the time because Sun(Sun) exploded.
Don’t worry about it, I’m sure it’ll be fine.
When the game ended Alberto returned to us, but Jaylen stayed trapped in The Vault.
Two other players who had been Returned from The Hall to play landed on our roster:
- Sutton Picklestein – yes, the very same player who we necromancied ten seasons ago in Season 13 only for them to be Plundered to the Breath Mints (The Breath Mints.) and then immediately Return to The Hall, &
- Jada Frederick – Jada was a player for the Pre-History team the “Maryland Squirrels.”
And that was the end of Play in Season 23! Now let’s head over and view the Election Results!
With no Wills, we have a lot less to talk about this Season.
We chose to vote for the Team Roamless Crates, which will prevent any Roaming players from moseying on over to our team.
Most notably, it will protect us from Parker “Firewalker” MacMillan, but it comes with the added benefit of stopping The Fifth Base from making a return trip to take more of our players.
In terms of Blessings, we won a single Blessing and were affected by two more.
We won the Season 23 Blessing – Vault Swap and traded in Glabe Moon for Sutton Bishop.
Bishop is a downgrade defensively over Moon, but who isn’t? If nothing else Glabe, will be safe in The Vault alongside Jaylen. Maybe. Hopefully.
The LA Unlimited Tacos won the Gachapon Blessing and took Stephanie Schmitt from our shadows, luckily avoiding another tragedy like the loss of Castillo Turner.
Finally, the Hellmouth Sunbeams did what they do best, and walked through the Election and walked out with the Divisional Walk in the Park Blessing in hand.
The Blessing granted every Team in Wild Low the Walk in the Park Modification allowing our Hitters to walk to first on one less ball than usual.
The Boston Flowers have definitely made some large leaps in improvement over the last few seasons but our Active Roster is still in need of tidying up.
We’re most likely destined for a poor performance in Season 24, but all that could change with some good luck.
An early Fax Machine activation to put Campos Aria and Jada Frederick into our shadows and place Gloria Bugsnax and Lowe Forbes onto our Rotation would change our fortunes drastically.
Jada Frederick boasts some more than solid batting skills and could then Voicemail onto our Lineup and turn us into a real contender.
With a Firewalker Roaming the League and a Supernova burning above, this could be our last chance to win a Championship, be it an Over or Underchampionship.
So let’s go out there and show them that Life’s A Garden! Dig It!
When I called this section “Last Words” I meant it. There’s a very real chance that the Boston Flowers could be incinerated, never to grace the ILB ever again.
Even now, you dear Reader, may have already witnessed us reach that fate.
I wanted to say a few words in case these are the last I write as the Word of the Boston Flowers.
Flowers will grow and wither as time passes us by, but their beauty is all the more for it. If this is the end of our road then let us burn a memory so bright that they will never forget our beauty and the joy we brought.
The Boston Flowers, and You, dearest Reader, will always hold a special place in my heart as my first Blaseball Team. You have shown me great care, and support in my work and for that I love you.
Okay okay, that’s just too sad.
Let’s Grow out there, play some damn fine Blaseball and show them who we are.
We Are The Boston Flowers.
👋 That’s all folks! 👋
Thank you all for reading once more, make sure to support the Blaseball News Network by checking out all of our other content.
This bouquet is all wrapped up in a bow and that means it’s time for me to grow!
Have a good season, and don’t forget to ask, where is BNN?
Stay Safe Everybody.