THE CONSHOHOCKEN HEIST
On Day 52 of Season 21, Philly Pies player Ruslan Greatness caused reverberations amongst the fanbase when he stole and pocketed the Legendary Super Roamin’ Fifth Base from The Oven during a game against the Dallas Steaks.
As many fans know, the Legendary Super Roamin’ Fifth Base was introduced to the League in the Season 19 Postseason Elections. Given to Jesus Koch of the Canada Moist Talkers, the item, touted as undroppable and unbreakable, provided a minor boost to Baserunning. More importantly, it granted the Super Roamin’ mod; a mod which makes its holder move teams every nine games.
Moist Talkers fans were sad to see Koch go, but excited for their neverending journey across the league. That is, until that neverending journey suddenly ended.
On Day 38 of Season 20, the Yellowstone Magic (the team that Koch had most recently roamed to) found themselves facing the Pies in their home stadium, The Oven. Near the end of the game, Koch was on base and preparing to steal home, when they did the unexpected.
They dropped the undroppable.
The Fifth Base was placed in the Oven, permanently adding a fifth base to the bases that a player would need to run to reach home.
That, we thought, was the end of the story, until Game 17 of Season 21. The Pies were hosting the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and legendary base-stealer Richardson Games did what they do best: they stole a base.
Games picked the Fifth Base right up, gaining its benefits and flaws alike.
Players were shocked. The common thought was that the Fifth Base was out of play, but it had been brought right back into play, threatening to take the Thieves original from them. Games, however, did not want to leave, and later in that very game, they placed the base right back in The Oven.
So it was with fear that the Pies watched their strong boy pick that base up. Philadelphia did not want to lose Greatness, an original Pie who had grown under their tutelage.
A plan was concocted. If Ruslan did not drop the Fifth Base by the sixth inning of game 54— the final game of the week, and the game that would see them leave if they did not do so— then the money cannons would be fired. Votes would be bought in excess and poured into the Move Will. As fans know, Wills are enacted as written. The Move Will would move Ruslan to the Lineup, and although its intent is to move a player on your team to a different position, previous situations had proven that Moving a player who was no longer on your team via fast action would indeed pull them back, free of charge.
At the end of the sixth inning, the base was still in Greatness’s possession, and the cannons were fired. Tons of votes were spent between Pies fans to ensure that they would pull their strong boy back onto the roster.
An impressive act of unity by the Pies fans; not the first time that they had banded together so strongly, and likely not the last.
And all would have been well and good in Philadelphia.
Of course, Blaseball is Blaseball, and the unthinkable can and will happen.
In the eighth inning of the game, Ruslan Greatness, finally listening to the frantic begging of the crowd, dropped the Fifth Base.
Votes upon votes down the drain, poured into moving a player on the Lineup right back to the Lineup.
When questioned about it, Greatness simply had one thing to say: “Please forgiving Ruslan.”
If I can be frank, only a group of amatuers fire before the 8th, you fire on the bottom of the 8th at the earliest, if your a nervous nelly who can’t wait til the 9th. Ask anyone who has played the reno sniping game.