🌹 Lost in the Wild: Boston Flowers Season 17 Recap 🌹


By: Kidror

Welcome Blaseball Fans to the Boston Flowers Season 17 Recap!

I hope you’re enjoying the Siesta so far! After the chaos of the last three Seasons, everyone deserves some peace and quiet. It’s time to break down Season 17, starting with the Season 16 Election recap. 

Season 16 Election Recap

The Season 16 Election was a near-miss for the Boston Flowers, saved from tragedy by the Baltimore Crabs.

An image of the election results. It reads “The Crabs voted to target Chorby Soul for the Plunder”
The Crabs Plunder Chorby Soul
  • The Boston Flowers plunder Chorby Soul from The Hall. Margarito Nava retreats to the Shadows.
  • The Crabs also plunder Chorby Soul, leaving Silvaire Roadhouse in their place.
  • Glabe Moon returns to Boston, following an Exchange for Schneider Bendie
  • Boston wins the Shadows Running Practice Blessing, increasing the Baserunning of their Shadowed players.

Season 17 Results

An image of the Wild League Standings.
First is the LA Unlimited Tacos. 59 Wins. Record of 59 and 40.
Second is the Miami Dale. 58 Wins. Record of 57 and 42.
Third is the Houston Spies. 58 Wins. Record of 58 and 41.
Fourth is the Ohio Worms. 56 Wins. Record of 55 and 44.
Fifth is the Boston Flowers. 43 Wins. Record of 43 and 56.
Sixth is the Hellmouth Sunbeams. 37 Wins. Record of 37 and 62.
Wild League End of Season Standings

The Boston Flowers finished 5th in Wild Low, with 43 Wins, and a record of 43-56.

Season 17 wasn’t nice to Boston in the slightest. The Wild Low went trekking into nature to hunt Wild High together while the Hellmouth Sunbeams stayed at home to Party. 

Boston wasn’t strong enough to keep up with the rest and got left behind to suffer alone through devastating Weather effects.

Unable to find their way forward they stumbled back home and joined the Sunbeams at the Party— but thanks to Growth, they missed the start.

🦋 A Moth to the Flame 🔥

Boston started the Earlseason with a Win — and it went all downhill from there. 

The only teams they managed to get more than one Win from in the Earlseason were the Hellmouth Sunbeams, who had chosen to actively tank the season, and the Tokyo Lift, who ultimately finished 5th in Wild High. 

The Weather was out in full force. On Day 21 and then on Day 26, the Boston Flowers were hit by Reverb Weather. 

First, it shuffled their Lineup, and then it chose to really shake things up putting Scores Baserunner and Gloria Bugnsax into the Rotation and putting Chambers Simmons and Dunn Keyes into the Lineup. 

The Reverb was just a warning. 

Alone in the Wilderness without their Captain and Fire Eater, Margarito Nava, a Solar Eclipse turned lethal. Hiroto Cerna, beloved by fans, was incinerated by a Rogue Umpire on Day 36.

An image from the feed. It is white text on a grey background, that reads “Rogue Umpire Incinerated Hiroto Cerna!”
Incineration of Hiroto Cerna

Hiroto’s death follows that of Moses Mason, who was incinerated the previous Season. Boston had been hoping a miracle would see them claim the title of Champion— instead, a disaster saw them reclaim the title of “Most Players Incinerated.” 

Their replacement Allen Kranch is no slouch, but Hiroto was a “hiro” to many and left a large pair of shoes behind. Their untimely incineration worsened an already struggling batting lineup.

🏞 🚶 A Walk in the Park 🏞 🚶‍♀️

Let’s destress with a calm Walk in the Park shall we?

The Ballpark Renovation options available to the Flower Buds didn’t inspire much excitement, and despite an effort to try and only fund one renovation to save on coins and density, fans funded two renovations. 

  • Ballpark Cleanup
    • The most popular option selected, this removed the Filthiness from The Garden. It’s great to see fans taking an interest in keeping their local Park clean! Keep it up Flower Buds!
An image from the feed. It is white text on a grey background, it reads “The Garden was cleaned up! It is no longer Filthy.”
Ballpark Cleanup
  • Flood Pumps
    • This renovation is a good combination with Ballpark Cleanup. The Pumps activate in Flooding weather stopping the Ballpark from getting too messy again.

They stayed away from the new option they were offered, Fax Machine. This was only the second time they’ve passed on a unique Renovation, so we’ll have to see if they continue to resist the urge.

Notably, a chance at Coffee Weather was also ignored, they’ve already turned down Coffee Two and Coffee 3s previously, so if fans are hoping to increase the chance of Weather they’re not interested in getting caffeinated. 

Keep an eye out on the Weather Forecast to see when and what Fans will go for, perhaps Sun 2 or extra Birds, to stay on theme?

🏠 Out of the Cold ❄️

An image from the feed of Boston’s results in Lateseason games. It covers results from Day 73 to 84. It is a mixture of Wins and Losses, a total of six Wins and six Losses each.
Lateseason Results

The run of extremely bad luck Boston experienced faded away in the Lateseason as they strolled through familiar streets back to The Garden after being unable to keep up with the rest of Wild Low.

Those familiar streets took a form that Boston’s fans have seen time and time again: They stumble on the same part of the sidewalk, as usual, tripping where the pavement has been pushed up by plant growth. They Win when a Loss would’ve pushed them into PARTYTIME, but lose too often to create a Lateseason miracle.

It’s as disappointing as it is comfortable. Not making the Postseason is safe, Boston isn’t at risk of Consumer Attacks, Reverbs, or Eclipses, but they’re not at risk of winning either.

Boston needs a change, maybe they should find a different route to walk home, or maybe they should consider a change of scenery— they hear the Mild League is pretty nice this time of year. 

Above all else they need a lucky break, they managed to Party several times before the Season ended, but not for the players who needed it most. 

For now, the Flowers should rest and recuperate and begin training to prepare themselves for another shot at climbing the Wild League Mountain.

Season 17 Election Results

The Boston Flowers have had a streak of rough Election results. Often filling a gap in their team only for it to open right back up, like in a cartoon when someone plugs a hole in their boat only for another leak to spring back up.

Season 17 was the end of that bad luck.

An image of grey text on a black background. It states: Foreshadow - 35% of all Flowers Will Votes. This Filing - 98% of Flowers Foreshadow Votes. Final Odds - 34% chance of happening.
Foreshadow Votes
An image of grey text on a black background. It states: Move - 34% of all Flowers Will Votes. This Filing - 95% of Flowers Move Votes. Final Odds - 32% chance of Happening.
Move Votes

Boston had both their top Wills enacted, with a combined total of 69% of their votes. Nice! 

An image of white text on a black background. It reads The Flowers made a roster move. It shows Margarito Nava being sent to the lineup and Salih Ultrabass being moved to the Shadows.
The Flowers Foreshadow

They Shadowed their worst batter, Salih Ultrabass, in exchange for Margarito Nava, who is now their second-best batter. 

An image of white text on a black background. It reads The Flowers made a roster move. It shows Scores Baserunner being moved from the Rotation to the Lineup.
The Flowers make a Move

Then they moved their third-best batter, Scores Baserunner, back onto the Lineup after they were sent to the Rotation earlier this Season.

To top it off, they won the Grounded Blessing, which improved Brock Forbes Overpowerment in exchange for some of their Unthwackability, making Brock a much more balanced pitcher. 

There was a cost to their Election success, and that cost was Castillo Turner being exchanged with Chorby Short by the New York Millennials.

An edited version of the What did it cost meme. 
It is made of four panels, showing a discussion between a small green girl, and a large purple man. The girl asks Did you do it? The man responds Yes. She asks What did it cost? He answers Castillo Turner. 
On the second panel the image is edited to show the Flowers Wills they won, Foreshadowing Margarito Nava for Salih Ultrabass, and Moving Scores Baserunner to the lineup from the rotation. On the fourth panel it includes an image of the Millenials voting to swap Castillo Turner for Chorby Short.
What did it cost? meme
via Sprinter (Discord)

Castillo (who should Not Be Perceived) and Chorby may appear to have similar stats, but it’s all a magic trick from Short caused by the Attractor Modifier, which inflates their Stars above their actual skill level.

Despite that, Chorby Short is no slouch at pitching, so the Flowers now have a balanced pitching Rotation where the worst you can say about a player is “they’re good” and “we love them.”

☀️ Clear Skies, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose 🌈

It’s Dawn the morning after the siesta. 

The Boston Flowers have woken up well-rested and refreshed and ready to Play Ball.

The skies are clear, the Sun 2 is out and shining.

They’re improved and are ready this time, ready to climb the mountain.

Keeping up with the Wild League will be just as tough this Season as any other but this time the Boston Flowers are properly prepared.

Boston now has a well-rounded Lineup and a Rotation to match, and although we don’t know what Wills are going to appear at the next Election, they’ve got options to pursue.

The Boston Flowers may not be the best team in Baseball, but they won’t give up trying— no matter how many times they get beaten, be it by the Weather or by other teams.

The Flowers are a team that makes you believe that no matter how small, there’s still a chance they can win.

👋 That’s all folks! 👋

I want to give a special mention here to Cal, the founder and former Boss of BNN, for all the work they’ve put into turning this from a joke into something real.

I hope you’ll all join me in giving Cat a warm welcome as the new Boss of BNN and stay tuned as we continue to write words about this incredible splort we all love.

You should definitely take the time this Siesta to read through our extensive catalogue of articles if you haven’t yet. BNN puts a lot into what we do and we couldn’t do it without your support.

My next appearance will likely be in the Season 18 Power Rankings so keep your eyes peeled for my name next to a blurb justifying yet another incorrect ranking.

This bouquet is all wrapped up in a bow and that means it’s time for me to grow! 

Have a good siesta, and don’t forget to ask:

Where is BNN?

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