With the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams’ Golden Record Notarized and the election complete, Season 2 of the Coronation Era is now officially a wrap. Let’s take a look at what happened to the League this election.

Decree: Bard Ump

The first big winner of the election was none other than the Bard Umpire, who is now “Bound” to the Book and will serve as the new Crew Chief as we head into Season 3. We don’t know much about what this will mean for the League as a whole, though theories are of course aplenty. 

What we do know: The Bard spent Season 2 cursing players with a “Can’t Lose” curse that left them hopping on bandwagons to join the winning team in each game they play. The sole player who managed to make it all the way to the Championship, Özlem Suttner, lost the curse and is now on the Sunbeams for the foreseeable future.

The other four remain in Awful Evil, the division with the least wins overall in Season 2. (Perhaps they should have gone somewhere else if they wanted to win so badly?)

The Bard Umpire also seems to have a soft spot for Scattered teams. So far, they have not targeted players on Scattered teams with their curse and have ruled in Favor of players on the Tacos, Lovers, and Spies (all Scattered). All three Favored players received stat boosts as a result.

The Big Three Blessings

As for Blessings, going into this election, there were three clear “must try” Blessings that every single team in the ILB seemed to be after. Blessings are a raffle, after all, and all it takes is one vote and a lot of luck. Here are the three teams who cashed in on some great luck this season.

Yellowstone Magic: NEW Pitching Boost

Magic just needed to improve their pitching and defense, or so they’ve been saying. Now, with two back-to-back elections of strong boosts covering both Pitching (S2) and Defense (S1), Yellowstone has everything they need.

LA Unlimited Tacos: NEW Batting Boost

Winning the same boost that helped carry the Sunbeams to their S2 championship, the Tacos are one of the biggest winners of the S2 election. The NEW Batting Boost puts the Tacos’ bats at second overall in the league by stars. Congratulations to Erin Beanbag in particular for learning which end of the bat to hold.

Canada Moist Talkers: Wind Sprints

Wow it really happened again huh. one person in canada typed “vote, wimdy?” into aol dot com and Blaseball said “well you gotta hand it to them, they make a compelling case”. Congrats to the Talkers on receiving Wind Sprints, catapulting them to the highest rated Defense and fifth highest rated Running league-wide.

All According to Plan

There were also three teams with more unique plans this election who managed to win their top picks. From ridding themselves of unwanted players to chasing plot, here are the teams who managed to pull it off:

Houston Spies: Knight Strike

It was all part of ||The Plan||. After wimdying Strike Zero last election and earning “Strike 1,” ||The Spies|| went all-in to find out exactly what happens when someone presses the funny red button labeled “DANGER.” Winning the Knight Strike Blessing, the Spies earned themselves “Strike 2” and sent Mechs’ pitcher Chibodee Alighieri on a mysterious Side Quest in the Shadows. 

The Mechs’ replacement is a small step down but it won’t change much for S3 for the Mechs. For the Spies, it is likely a relief that their own curiosity didn’t have more devastating impacts for their Awful, Evil neighbors.

Mexico City Wild Wings: Shadow Play

Two seasons in a row ain’t bad! With 25% of the votes, the Wild Wings were able to banish Baker Caster to the Shadows, despite the sim deleting them from the game for a short time instead. While they had surely hoped to pull Fletcher Peck or questing Letitia Diop from the Shadows, Atma Blueberry is still a significant improvement at bat over Caster. While Blueberry is also a defensive liability, Caster was hardly a star on defense. With 28.7 Outs Above Average Jefferson de la Cruz sitting at Left Field above Blueberry, their bad defense will hopefully be mitigated.

Kansas City Breath Mints: Yeet

With nearly a quarter of the votes, the Mints decisively Yeeted Jesse Tredwell—one of the worst batters in the league—back into the Black Hole. In return, they received  Vernon Glump, who has very high Sight and Thwack but very low Ferocity. This unusual spread means we don’t have much of an idea of how they will perform, but they will surely be better than Jesse. Surely. A small improvement for the Mints, who were once again trying to fix their offense, badly hurt by losing top batter Mindy Kugel. Plus, Jesse was a liability in the infield, and though Glump isn’t much better, they should see much less action in left high field – another silver lining.

Something is Better than Nothing

For those who missed out on the big Blessings, five more teams still managed to win Blessings that should improve the team at least some.

New York Millennials: Ball Hawk

The Mills won one of their secondary picks, Ball Hawk, offering a small improvement to their fielding. Ren Hunter, one of the Mills’ better defenders, is now at midfield with a nice boost to Reach to cover more of the field. While it won’t solve all of the Mills’ woes, it is certainly a step in the right direction.

Boston Flowers: Strong Start

Winning Strong Start was surely not the Flowers’ first pick, but it’s not without some likely benefits. Their most powerful hitters are now back to back at the start of the lineup, rather than scattered between mediocre to bad hitters. This should give the Flowers more chances to pull off rallies and avoid the disappointment of their best hitters left stranded in scoring position. Only time will tell though how much this helps the teams’ offense.

Charleston Shoe Thieves: Telekenesis

With a wimdy vote for Telekinesis, Kit Adamses got a nice boost to control, which should result in fewer balls and walks. It probably won’t be enough to give the Thieves a real edge in the highly competitive Awful Good division, but it may help win a few matchups. A shame it wasn’t a batting boost.

Technically, It Was a Blessing

And then there were the Blessings that, all in all, probably won’t really change much at all. In the hands of other teams or with some better rolls, some of these might have been a nice improvement, but alas. 

Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams: Learn to Defend

Among one of the funnier election results, The Sunbeams wimdied Learn to Defend, rerolling Guozhi Ong’s defensive stats. It seems the training camp Ong went to was, however, mostly a pamphlet that said “don’t.” It certainly won’t help Beams’ defense much, but the Beams already proved they don’t need defense to win a championship.

San Francisco Lovers: Magnetic Fielder

Another defense blessing, another funny result, as the Lovers won Magnetic Fielder, giving Alvie Kesh a rather unnecessary boost to magnet. Kesh fielded only 7% of plays for the Lovers last season and is expected to continue to make no effort to cover any other portion of the field. In the rare cases the ball flies directly to Kesh, however, Kesh will do a great job fielding those plays.

Chicago Firefighters: Dark Matter

After winning the Dark Matter blessing, the Fighters’ active roster looks, well, exactly the same as it did before. All five players went to the team’s Shadows, so it remains to be seen when any of these players might actually see play. Stats-wise, the Fighters got a few players who’d be a step up from others on their active roster, though no true standouts. The Fighters also got the return of an OG, Grit Watson, who has yet to see play in any known era but has many long-time (and lore-minded) fans excited. 

The Strikes

Finally, there were the Strikes. While the Spies had hoped to hedge their bets and encouraged all teams in Awful Evil to go for a Strike in the case that getting hit might increase the Spies’ Strike count, it seemed none of the coordinated voting teams on the official Blaseball fan chat had any real interest in striking other teams. That left these Blessings as generally uncompetitive and not particularly beloved by the teams that won or got hit by them, save for the Spies above.

Tokyo Lift: Rogue Strike (Ohio Worms)

While Lift fans posting on public forums had no plans to go for Rogue Strike, the blessing showed up in the team’s top three early in the season and stayed there, ultimately resulting in the Lift striking the Worms. (On the bright side, it seems at least one Lift fan on a message board was happy about the result.) Mediocre pitcher Johnnyboy Aster of the Ohio Worms was incinerated and replaced by mediocre pitcher Luis Baron. It turns out that even when something happens in Ohio, nothing really happens in Ohio. The Lift now have Strike 1.

Atlantis Georgias: Bard Strike (Houston Spies)

Speaking of the Worms though, former Worms player Scratch Deleuze was hit by the Bard’s Curse, giving hope for Worms’ fans that their beloved Expansion Era star might return briefly to Ohio. Scratch was a poetic target for the Georgias, too, who won the blessing with what was the smallest winning vote count so far this era (less than 200 votes total). Scratch, along with other Worms players, had earned a spot among Georgias’ fans’ (light-hearted) “Enemies List” for repeated painful losses to the Worms in the Expansion Era. The Georgias now have Strike 1.

Core Mechanics: Mage Strike (Dallas Steaks)

Rounding out the Strikes, the Mechs claimed the Mage Strike, alternating Steaks’ Buried player Yams Sokol. As with the Lift, this wasn’t a blessing Mechs’ fans on publicly wanted, given the franchise’s painful history with Alternates. Still, the blessing stayed in their top three on the ballot all week, with support coming from somewhere else. For the Steaks, Sokol might be a marginally better hitter or pitcher now, should they somehow get un-Buried and see play, though their defense took a significant hit. The Mechs now have Strike 1.

Everyone Else

Of course, with only 15 blessings up for grabs and 24 teams competing for them, seven teams had a completely uneventful election, with two more (Steaks and Worms) getting nothing more than the receiving end of another team’s strike. Those seven unaffected teams, for reference, were: 

• Miami Dale
• Baltimore Crabs
• Philly Pies
• Hades Tigers
• Broken Ridge Jazz Hands
• Hawai’i Fridays
• Seattle Garages

The post Season 2 Blaseball Election: What Happened? appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

(So is the discipline era).

Hey there everybody, Benson “Nutty” Newton here with the traditional full Season recap! I hope you’re ready to buckle in and read about some of the most exciting happenings of our beloved Season 10. Ascension was finally achieved and there seems to be a new Boss in town. Oh, yeah, we also killed a god.

At the end of Blaseball Season 9 – Discipline Era: Forecast, three Decrees were passed by the Blaseball community: Forecast: Birds, Forecast: Blooddrain, and Forecast: Solar Eclipse.

These three weather types had established and known effects upon our beloved Players. Birds often did nothing, except for occasionally chewing a Shelled player out of their Shell (more on that later). The Blooddrain, when it gurgled, allowed a Player to siphon ability from one of their opponents. The Solar Eclipses… well… During those, Rogue Umpires would often Incinerate players, sending them straight to the Hall of Flame as a replacement was called up.

These Decrees, in addition to setting the weather for Season 10 to only these three, modified Players on every team.

• Forecast: Birds gave a Pitcher on each Team “Friend of Crows,” allowing them to encourage birds to attack a Batter during Birds weather, causing an Out.
• Forecast: Blooddrain made a Player on every Team a Siphoner, making them siphon blood more often during Blooddrain weather. Also, Siphoning could remove a ball from a pitch count or add a defensive Out.
• Forecast: Solar Eclipse gave a Batter on each team Fire Eater, causing them to swallow fire instead of being Incinerated during a Solar Eclipse. When a Player swallowed fire, the became Magmatic and hit a home run in their next at bat.

These new and special effects hurt and hindered Players and Teams throughout the League, but the main attraction was the pure amount of Blooddraining all those Siphoners caused.

There were 84 Siphons in 99 Days. The next closest in a Season has been 29, in Season 7.

A major benefitiary of all of this Blooddraining was Richardson Graves of the Charleston Shoe Thieves, who became the best Defensive player in recorded ILB history, in addition to being the first Seven Star player in any statistical area.

Somehow, with all of the Solar Eclipses, only two Players were Incinerated. However, these fan favorite Players are sure to be missed.

RIV YEONG-HO BENITEZ OF THE PHILLY PIES.

RIV ANNIE ROLAND OF THE YELLOWSTONE MAGIC.

Welcome to the League, Yusef Puddles and Bonk Jokes!

Following a Regular Season that was filled with relatively few surprises (at least to me!) we entered a Postseason that started off with a bang. The Wild Card Round was drawn up, pulling the Hellmouth Sunbeams and New York Millennials out of #PartyTime to face off against the 4th Place teams from both Leagues, the Unlimited Tacos and Philly Pies.

Well:

The Millenials & Sunbeams quickly completed 2-0 defeats of their opponents and we moved on with the rest of the playoffs. Skipping to the Finals, the Playoffs worked out like this:

The Baltimore Crabs quickly sent the Shoe Thieves packing with a 3-0 defeat, preventing another big comeback from the very same team that was their opponent the year before.

The Crabs, with a fresh League Championship under their belt, then got the honor to face off against the Terrifying and Horrible Shelled One’s Pods, a team formed by the Big Peanut that’s been lurking around for the majority of the Discipline era, almost entirely out of players that happened to be Shelled at the conclusion of Season 9.

I would write something about the grand battle between The Shelled One and the Most Powerful Dynasty That Blaseball Has Ever Seen (Crabs) here or give you an image to look at, but I simply don’t have much more information than this:

The Shelled One’s hit a single Single, completely and instantly demolishing the Team Spirit of the Crabs, defeating them in one Pitch.

“Landry Violence Rises.”

Oh, what a beautiful thing to see, what a beautiful thing to read. The Monitor appeared to fight the Shelled One, bringing with it all of our past Incinerated friends, fourteen of them in fact, like it had promised us so long ago that it would.

With a monstrous Team Spirit Bar that dwarfed even the Shelled One’s (the Hall Star’s Spirit was roughly equal to the total tribute to the 14 players), the two teams went to battle.

The teams went back and forth, exchanging inning after inning of hits, ours, strikes, balls, and home runs. Sebastian Telephone, a member of the Hall Stars, was tragically Incinerated once again, a mere few innings back into his second lease on life (RIV). Axel Trololol and Jaylen Hotdogfingers (who was sent back to the Hall of Flame in Idol Board high jinks we don’t have the time to cover today [Spoiler: Tillman Henderson was brought back from the dead. Largely accidentally]) swapped between the teams continually (Though both were Saboteurs who sometimes purposefully failed while on the Shelled Ones). Other intense happenings, well, happened.

It was a game of Blaseball but yet, so much more.

As the Monitor loomed behind an increasingly irate Shelled One, Landry Violence became Magmatic (Thanks to their Fire Eater perk gained through aforementioned Idol Board happenings) and slammed a home run, putting the Shelled Ones on the ropes.

With a final Homer from the iconic fan-favorite and former New York Millennial, Dominic Marijuana, the Shelled One’s Pods were defeated.

The moral of the story is that victory is sweet, but Peanuts are bland.

Also, we beat a god.

We Are All Love Blaseball.

There’s much, much more to discuss about the Election and preceding events, such as the Ascension of the Crabs, and a new Team added to the ILB. And… well…

Keep an eye out for that tomorrow.

the ceo commissioner is doing a great job.

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER. ^PLEASE.

The post The Full Season 10 Recap. appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

SEASON 6 is finished.

Hey there everybody, Benson “Nutty” Newton here with another hot end of Season recap to go over… well, the entire Season! This is my first recap of the entirety of Season 6, because I was on vacation! It was such a wildly packed Season, making it a bit of a bad one to be gone for. I’ve done my best to summarize things for you below!

As is tradition in Blaseball, a new Season meant new weather conditions for our beloved Hitters and Batters to have to contend with. While I’m not quite sure how it could be considered weather, the Blooddrain gurgled across every single Stadium in the League this Season, enabling players to siphon off a half star of ability from another player every time it occurred.

Whether it be a Batter stealing Hitting from a Pitcher, or a Pitcher siphoning some Pitching skills from a defending Hitter, this weather subtlety moved play making ability around the League without being flashy.

Also, it’s kinda gross to see happen.

Following their placement into the Mild League, the Mexico City Wild Wings sued the Blaseball Gods for defamation of character, irreparable material damages, and “serious Grade A bull.” The Wild Wings apparently took their name and spiciness quite seriously, if they were willing to go to court over it.

Parker, the Blaseball Commissioner Prime Minister Intern(?) wasn’t quite sure how to the handle the case, but at different times declared the case dismissed, the court being adjourned, a mistrial, and a hung jury.

In the end, the Blaseball Gods seem to have taken their revenge on the… team from Mexico City and their Legal team has dropped the case, probably having run up against the seemingly infinite legal power of Blaseball itself.

Everything that could go right for the Baltimore Crabs went right this Season. They started off by gaining four Blessings that majorly jacked their entire lineup and snagged them Ace Pitcher Axel Trololol. Even after having their star Batter, Nagomi Mcdaniel, stolen by the Breckenridge Jazz Hands within the same round of Blessings, they assembled what was easily the best Blaseball roster of all time by Star count.

Spoiler, they lived up to expectations.

Going on a record-setting 22 win streak on their way to a final record of 80-19 (the best Regular season record in Blaseball history by 8 games), the Crabs easily handled every opponent put in their way. They even managed to sweep the Boston Flowers, Breckenridge Jazz Hands, and Seattle Garages on their way to winning the ILB Championship, their first time hoisting the title.

Good job, Crabs. Hopefully there will never be a team this dominant again.

At the beginning of Season 6, many fans of Blaseball were worried that the Season would become quite boring. The new Leagues and Divisions set up a certain subsection of Teams for success, while the Blaseball Crabs looked prepared to dominate. Oh yeah, also the Season 5 Runner-Up Jazz Hands picked up a 6* Hitter with 5.5* Base-running and 4* Defense. However, there were still some exciting happenings to go around in the League.

boston flowers burst into the playoffs.

The Boston Flowers managed to tie up the New York Millennials on the final day of the Season, making their way into the Postseason for the third time in six seasons. With a final record of 51-48, it was a miracle that the Wild Low leader squeaked in at the last second. Unfortunately, they were immediately swept by the eventual champions.

Seattle garages make run for the finals

The Seattle Garages, little punk rockers that they are, made a beautiful run for the ILB title this year. Squeaking into the playoffs at 53-46, right behind two other Mild High teams (Hades Tigers & Kansas City Breath Mints), the Garages went on an unprecedented run during their first playoff apprance, shocking the 2-time Champ Philly Pies and the other 2-time Champ Hades Tigers on their way to the Finals, where they were finally swept by the Baltimore Crabs.

chicago firefighters defeat new york millennials for blood pity.

In an odd twist of the new Blood Pity present in the Wild High Division, the New York Millennials and Chicago Firefighters actively fought over last place in the division for several days. Since the Blood Pity requires every team in the first through fourth places to give stars to the last place finisher, these two teams, while definitely eliminated from the Postseason, competed for the Blood Pity Stars. The Season 5 ILB Champ Chicago Firefighters came out on bottom and will receive the coveted ability boosts!

Ah, yes, Necronut.

Season 6, in addition to Blooddrain and the most juiced up team that Blaseball has ever seen, brought yet another new feature to our beloved Splort, Idols. Members of the Blaseball fandom were allowed to Idolize their favorite player (or any player for whatever reason) in order to make themselves some more money for betting on even more Blaseball games.

However, the new Idol leader board brought with it a twist, a ominous Red Line beneath the top three Idolized players, and a warning from The Peanut to honor their legumes. It quickly became obvious that The Peanut wished for its three offspring, Peanutiel Duffy, Peanut Holloway, and Peanut Bong, to occupy these top three positions. Thus, the community of Blaseball fans conspired to, at the End of the Season, make sure these three reached the vaulted position The Peanut demanded. Well, not all of the Community.

Meanwhile, after Day 32 of Season 6, incinerated Garages pitcher, Jaylen Hotdogfingers, the first player every Incinerated by a rogue umpire, entered the Idols leaderboard. Shown as being a part of The Null Team, Jaylen quickly was vaulted into position 14, the spot that allowed them to be theoretically returned to Blaseball through the Blessing “Lottery Pick,” which reads: “Steal the 14th Most Idolized Player in the League.” Many view this act as a way to defy against the Blaseball Gods. The Commissioner simply had one thing to say:
“are you sure about this?”

Thus, Necronut was born. Get the Peanuts to the Top 3 Positions on the Leaderboard, and keep the beloved Jaylen Hotdogfingers at position 14 so that they may be resuscitated.

Well, as of right now, Jaylen Hotdogfingers is still at position 14 with the Election fast approaching. The Peanut legumes reaching the top three? Well.

Despite all of the Necronut planning and scheming passed around the community, when the time came, only Peanut Bong was within the Top 3, sitting below League MVP winners and Eternal Blaseball All-Stars Jessica Telephone and Nagomi Mcdaniel.

The Peanut reappeared and declared The Third Strike, claiming that fans of Blaseball attempted to patronize them but failed. As punishment, The Peanut entrapped Jessica Telephone and Nagomi Mcdaniel into massive peanut shells before disappearing once again. Of course, this brought great troubles upon the Philly Pies and Breckenridge Jazz Hands’ playoff runs, as their two star players were… unavailable. Peanut Bong was left unscathed.

When will The Peanut appear next? How will Jessica Telephone and Nagomi Mcdaniel escape from the Peanuts punishment? Heck, will they ever? We will have to wait and find out.

While there are plenty of other things I could get into concerning Season 6, including Incineration, Peanut Allergies, Feedback Swaps, and more. But so much happened this Season that we’ll just leave such items for another time. I personally loved both my vacation and watching Season 6 unfold from afar, but I’ll be back before you know it to keep giving you the more consistent recaps you love.

Here’s to an amazing Season 6 election and an incredible Season 7!

the commissioner is doing a great job.

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER. ^PLEASE.

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