Yosh Carpenter’s story is one of what I can only describe as overwhelming resilience.

Yosh came out of the gate as one of the San Francisco Lovers’ best pitchers in the Discipline era. We are not, under any circumstances, known for our pitching, however Yosh always kept a notable success rate among their cohort.

Of 21 total seasons as a pitcher for both the Lovers and the Hawai’i Fridays, 16 of those seasons Carpenter earned a WHIP under 1.00, with stand out seasons (discounting an anomaly I will get to in a moment), being Seasons 6 and 7, the latter of which would see us in the playoffs finals.

Yosh’s consistent ERA throughout their time as a pitcher was 3.04, and they were a top 15 pitcher in Overhanded Career WhAT. The only other pitcher who has taken the mound of the Lovers in this group is, ironically enough, Gabriel Griffith.

Yosh sustained a significant career throughout era shifts, and spent their entire career both on the Lovers and Hawai’i Fridays, dedicated to the mound up until the absolute moment where they were needed in the lineup, to swap with legacy teammate Don Mitchell, in a play to prevent their vaulting.

If I’m being entirely honest here. I am not a stats guy. That’s not why I’m writing this article.

I want to tell a story.

If there is one thing you need to know about the San Francisco Lovers, it’s our seasoned history with Feedback, and sharing players with our friends in the Pacific.

While many of the Feedbacks we experienced were heart wrenching, I look no further than this season 13, day 79 Feedback for one of the best moments in Blaseball storytelling.

We can be realistic, this was a glitch. Yosh Carpenter took the mound against Gabriel Griffith, the inning began like any other.

Feedback struck.

Where we had come to painfully expect at this point to see Griffith standing in Yosh’s place, what we got instead was 17 more grueling innings of a Lovers staple pitcher refusing to leave the mound. Yosh completed all nine innings for both teams before the Veedback really hit, sending them to the Fridays where they would finish their career.

This would be the second of five Feedbacks we would have with the Fridays, and start a long line of what we’ve lovingly dubbed “the shipping of Theseus,” slowly but surely losing our original roster across the League.

I don’t tell this story out of sadness however, I truly do think that Yosh’s story is one of the most interesting things that has happened to us. It sets a precedent for the love of our roster, it would be the last time one of our most dominant original pitchers got to play with us but would lead to investing in standout Lovers pitchers like Sandford Garner, and newcomer Mindy Salad.

I think this glitch, a love letter to those moments in the game that just write themselves beautifully.

Whether it was Yosh’s performance, or this story that convinced you, I hope you consider Yosh Carpenter for your ballot.

Thanks.

The post Yosh Carpenter appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

Seasons 16 and 17 have come and gone like the tides, and the Fridays came closer than ever before to a parade before succumbing to (Taco) Tuesday in the end. How did the Fridays go from PARTYTIME to the finals? Out of respect to the humble Salmon, let’s recap the facts in a stream of consciousness style.

Friday to the Core

The past couple of seasons have seen a number of significant events in games between the Mechanics and the Fridays.

During Season 16, the Mechs and Fridays set a new record for the longest game by innings with a 28 inning marathon performance by pitchers Evelton McBlase and Jolene Willowtree. Both pitchers had strikeouts in the 40s after pitching the equivalent of an entire three-game series in a single game. This game also has the distinction of being a McBlase-Off, as the Mechs are home to former Friday Evelton McBlase II. The game was scoreless through the 9th, and ties were broken and reformed twice in extras before the Fridays finally prevailed 4-2.

During Season 17, Viberight Field’s new Bird Houses caught the attention of Fans during a home game against the Mechanics. Every foul ball in Bird weather causes a new bird to find a home, and the league kindly keeps a count of the number of newly housed birds. In one of the most upshelled events of the season, Mechanics batter Lady Matsuyama fouled off of Fridays’ pitcher Fenry Marlow, allowing bird number 69 to find a new home.

Lady Matsuyama must have enjoyed this interaction, as later that season she swapped with Fridays batter Christian Combs during Feedback. Lady Matsuyama is a formidable force at the bat, boosted in home games by her Homebody mod. She flourished on her new team, proving to be the team’s third best batter behind Valentine Games and Beck Whitney, and made major contributions during the finals run.

Christian Combs was a Season 1 Friday, the last remaining vestige of the team’s original lineup. The only remaining original Fridays on the team are Season 1 pitchers Stevenson Heat and Jacob Winner. We wish Combs well as he heads Down.

Bird Squad

This Threeson was one for the birds. The aforementioned Bird Houses were built in season 16 and racked up 115 houses for birds during Season 17. It remains to be seen what effect this has on the actual splort, but initial reports suggest the birds may be providing much-needed lift to the team’s eDensity.

In another Bird sighting, the Season 16 Elections saw the arrival of Mordecai Kingbird via an Equivalent Exchange by the Georgias for Fridays pitcher Montgomery Bullock. Kingbird was then immediately granted a Skateboard from a Fridays Blessing, which was unfortunately wasted on the now-pitching Kingbird.

Mordecai Kingbird performed way, WAY above expectations during Season 17, with an ERA much lower than even their hidden Apple stlats would suggest. It remains to be seen if they can sustain that performance in the seasons to come, but they have so far proven to be a slight improvement over Montgomery Bullock.

Montgomery Bullock had been with the team since the Season 10 Champs in the Making Blessing stole three players from the ascending Crabs. With Bullock’s departure, Sutton Dreamy is the only remaining player acquired from that Blessing, though Valentine Games is also a former Crab.

Bad Luck Baldwin

A relatively calm Season 16 of flexing their four batting stars in the Lineup turned to a tumultuous Season 17 for Baldwin Breadwinner. A Move Will put Breadwinner in the rotation, bringing the active Roster to seven batters and seven pitchers. Breadwinner proved to be a disaster on the mound, giving up the team’s worst ERA.

The Parasite mod was not enough to save Baldwin. Being on such a long roster, Breadwinner only got to pitch a single Blooddrain game, and their awful technique led them to only 4 strikeouts. Of these, only one drained a relevant pitching stat.

Then Breadwinner shocked the world of Blaseball in the playoffs. Pitching in two games, Breadwinner led the team with a stunning 2.00 postseason ERA. This included a valiant performance in the finals. Facing down the Tacos Lineup— an efficient machine that scored 17 Runs in the previous game–Breadwinner held the line, giving up only one run through nine innings before finally giving up the season-ending Run in the bottom of the tenth.

Baldwin’s bad luck only continued in the Election. Ever since the Champs in the Making Blessing shipped Breadwinner out of the league, they and former teammate Alyssa Harrell have had a long and unfortunate in-game history, being swapped for each other in a head-scratcher of an Exchange Will. After Harrell was Attracted to the Fridays in the playoffs, finally putting the pair back on the same team, Breadwinner was moved to the Steaks by the Alternator Blessing. 

A Promising Playoff Progression

The Fridays missed the playoffs in Season 16, but a 56 win Season was enough to get them into the playoffs as a fourth seed in Season 17.

First, they faced and quickly dispatched the 38 Win Wild Card, the New York Millennials. This series started off a pattern of former Fridays: Greer Gwiffin, the Plunder replacement for Valentine Games, had bounced around the league to the Mills and pitched game one. 

Second, the Fridays faced off against the Yellowstone Magic. Friday Night Magic is one of the league’s longest-standing friendships in terms of games played, but the two teams had never faced off in the playoffs before. The Magic were the toast of the league after a rash of Redactions left their roster with only four batters and four pitchers. The Lineup especially rose to unseen heights, with 71 Wins powered in part by former Friday James Mora’s powerful Bat. The Fridays won in upset fashion, with the 3-1 series clinched by pitcher Stevenson Heat, one of Mora’s fellow pitchers on the Discipline Era Fridays.

In the Mild League Final, Hawai’i threw down with the Philly Pies, the top team in the Mild High. Star Pies batter Eduardo Woodman is the former Friday this time. Woodman was on the Fridays for exactly one plate appearance during a Season 8 game that saw Woodman feedback swap twice with the same player: Alyssa Harrell. During game three, who should pop out of Tastycake Stadium’s Secret Base other than Harrell themself. Lady Matsuyama got them to third with a single, and the Fridays made the Fans sweat with a couple of quick outs before Spears Taylor finally batted Harrell in. The prodigal Breadsbian, stealer of Infusions, the first player to have their soul completely Consumed, has returned to the Fridays. Oh, and the team beat the Pies 3-2 in the series, overwhelming Philly’s spectacular Rotation in just enough games.

In their first-ever ILB final, the Fridays faced off against the LA Unlimited Tacos. The Tacos and Fridays have long had a kind of kinship as two of the worst teams in the league during the Discipline Era. Former Friday Basilio Fig sat Shelled as the rest of the Tacos lineup tore the weak links in the Hawai’i rotation to shreds, including a 17-8 Home Run Derby in Game 2. The bats ran cold in game 3, as the Tacos capped off the sweep with a 2-1 victory in extra innings.

Here’s a little history lesson on the Fridays’ playoff appearances in chronological order: lost in the Wild Card round, lost in the Mild League semis, lost in the Mild League finals, lost in the Internet Series. The Fridays have been failing upward, but there is no up left to fail. The next time the Fridays make the playoffs, consider the ILB on notice: they might just go all the way.

We Make Legends

The endgame of the MVP board was finally revealed in Season 17. On Day 99, Friday Icons York Silk and Nagomi McDaniel, the only two players with Ego++++, finished the regular season above the MVP noodle. They were thus enshrined into the Vault, removing them from their respective teams (The Garages and Wild Wings) and granting them the Legendary status. 

Silk and McDaniel were teammates on the Season 2 and 3 Fridays, and both became 5-star batters during those seasons. Silk was the defining player of the Discipline Era Fridays before being podded by the Shelled One. McDaniel rejoined the Fridays on a Season 10 Blessing after powering the Crabs to ascension. The two bounced around the league once Wills were an option, reuniting briefly on the Season 15 Crabs before continuing their world tours. After York’s Resurrection and McDaniel’s Redaction, it seems these two will finally get a much-deserved break from Blaseball.

Aldon Cashmoney, who also became a 5 star batter on the Fridays, is one of the few players next in line at Ego++++. The enigmatic Valentine Games, who has partied multiple times with the team, isn’t far behind at Ego+++.

Threeson Preview

The Fridays find themselves in an unfamiliar position heading into this Onseason: frontrunners. BNN’s own power rankings put them at third in the league, and the best in the Mild Low. The team built on the mantra of “Win’t or Won’t, We Vibe” will be doing a whole lot of Win’t if nothing goes wrong.

One particular surprise is that near-seven-star batters Beck Whitney and Valentine Games seem to have laid roots in Hawai’i. With the Plunder Will gone, and Beck Whitney’s Roamin’ Reformed into High Pressure, the Vibes Row trio of Beck, Games, and Lady Matsuyama will continue to cause headaches for even the best opposing pitchers. The presence of former star Harrell in the Shadows gives the team a tempting option for replacing the less-good batters in their Lineup.

After the failed Breadwinner experiment, the Fridays seem set on revitalizing their pitching squad. Juice Collins was Transfused up to 6 stars, giving the Fridays three true Aces on their six-player rotation, alongside Yosh Carpenter and Evelton McBlase. The team is still a number of moves away from some of the elite three- and four-player Rotations around the league, but a truly bad stretch of pitchers like the one that ended their finals run is a thing of the past.

Overall, the Vibes are as right as ever in Viberight Field. Their Finals run was far from a fluke, and Fridays Fans will put their faith in that old refrain: Magma Mia, Here We Go Again.

The post Here We Go Again: A Season 16-17 Fridays Recap appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

Season 15 was a wild and turbulent ride for Internet League Blaseball, but nobody told the Hawai’i Fridays. Despite multiple encounters with Debted players and more than one game under a blinking red light, the Fridays had zero Redacted players and suffered zero Consumer Attacks. This let them focus on what really matters: PARTYTIME.

Whichever Blaseball god makes the schedules finally went easy on the Fridays, giving them only 9 games each against the dominant Baltimore Crabs and Canada Moist Talkers, and only 6 against the Mild High leading New York Millennials. After facing teams with winning records 76 times last season, the Fridays only had 40 such games this season. 

The Fridays threw such a big Party in Season 15 that this gift from the Gods got lost in the pile, as the team went 10-30 against those winning teams, and didn’t exactly dominate against losing teams either. After a surprisingly strong Earlseason, and with a helping hand from the Middling Breath Mints, the Fridays settled into the familiar and nostalgic role of 5th place in Mild Low. 

Party Like It’s Season 9

Back-to-back seasons of making the Playoffs to start the Expansion Era turned the Fridays into wallflowers in Season 14, when they only had 3 players Party. In Season 15, they cut loose like old times, Partying 12 times in just nine Days, including four Parties each on Days 91 and 99. 

Two pitchers, Evelton McBlase and Yosh Carpenter, Partied, shoring up the strong points of the Rotation. Carpenter in Particular reached five pitching stars, becoming the sixth player the Fridays have boosted to five stars in a primary stat, a list that includes Gabriel Griffith, the player Carpenter replaced via Feedback.

Beck Whitney Partied the hardest in their first season as a Friday, hitting the proverbial dab three times, including twice in one game. Valentine Games and Jacob Winner both default danced their way to two Parties each.

Rounding out the batter Parties were boosts for the team’s three worst batters: Sutton Dreamy, Baldwin Breadwinner, and Spears Taylor. These three players were all top ten in the League in total strikeouts for Season 15 (especially impressive given the Fridays’ nine player Lineup) and they all bat back-to-back in the order. These boosts are especially welcome for Taylor, who had a rough season following an allergic reaction last Season and produced one of the lowest batting averages in the League, at 0.036. 

Visiting Superstars Feel the Vibes

The Season 14 Election granted the Fridays two of the flashiest non-Crab signings: Tacos/Spies/etc. legend Valentine Games and Flowers/Dale darling Beck Whitney. These superstar batters kindly checked the Vibes and contributed to Hawai‘i’s PARTYTIME run by producing some of their worst hitting numbers to date. 

Valentine Games had a fantastic season by most Players’ standards, leading the Fridays lineup in nearly every statistical category, including hits and home runs. However, it was still a step down from their recent production, with Games reaching base and getting extra-base hits less frequently than any Season spent with the Tacos. 

Beck Whitney had an even steeper drop off. Despite six batting stars, Whitney was only the fourth best batter on the team by most statistical measures, falling behind Games, Bates Bentley, and Christian Combs. Whitney reached career low marks in batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging percentage. Hopefully a bevy of boosts and some more familiarity with the Fridays’ (lack of) system will let Whitney reach their full potential.

Fruitless Observations

The resurrection of Chorby Soul and former Friday York Silk had drastic effects throughout the League, and while the Fridays never had a player Redacted, several players became Observed. 

The Fridays faced the Seattle Garages quite often this season, which meant a number of encounters with both Soul and Seattle Receiver Wyatt Mason X. Mason X caused Christian Combs to become Observed on Day 25. Later that series, Fridays batters Breadwinner, Dreamy, and Juice Collins all became Observed in a single game. The Fridays escaped that game with zero Redactions and two Wins, thanks to Sun 2. 

During the Lateseason, the Fridays finally started playing the Crabs. York Silk hit a ball at Spears Taylor and Beck Whitney, but both Observed attributes wore off before either player got snatched. 

Pumped Up Tricks

During Stadium Renovations, the Fridays resisted the temptation to build a Secret Base, instead focusing their efforts on Flood Pumps and a Grind Rail.

The Flood Pumps will keep Immateria surges during Flooding weather from increasing the Cookout’s Filthiness. If recent research into Level is accurate, this should also help prevent Consumer Attacks. 

The Grind Rail provides runners on first a way to steal third directly— if they have enough style. Valentine Games flashed the freshest tricks of any Friday, landing an Upshell into a Bonerattler for a gnarly 4167 point combo, good for the 15th best combo in the League.

Crabday Night Lights

Ever since Baltimore recruited Nagomi McDaniel from Hawai‘i in the Season 3 Elections, the Crabs and the Fridays have been inextricably linked: a League crushing Goliath and a chill David too busy Partying to slay giants. The Fridays took three of the Ascending Crabs’ players in the Season 10 Elections, and the Crabs returned the favor in the Season 14 Elections, acquiring (or reacquiring) three of the greatest batters ever to play for Hawai‘i. 

Yes, much like siblings, the Crabs and the Fridays are always borrowing from each other. With that in mind, let’s check in on how the Fridays’ sister team fared with their shiny new toys: Alyssa Harrell, Nagomi McDaniel, and York Silk. For brevity’s sake, let’s call those three players the Crabdays.

The Crabs went from a Free Will to the best regular-season team in Blaseball in Season 15, racking up 71 Wins and the top seed in the Mild League. They were powered by the League’s best defense and a top 5 offense led by the five-or-more star Crabdays, huddled together near the top of the order. 

They started the season off scary, as York Silk’s Debt caused many opposing defenders to be marked as Observed, with a chance of being Redacted in Coffee Weather. On Day 43, a world-weary NaN, pitching for the Lovers and temporarily Echoing Debt, turned the eyes of the Observers back on Baltimore. NaN, a former Friday as well, singled out the Crabdays and Beaned each of them once, harming no other Crabs. Luckily, the effect wore off before any of the three were Redacted. 

With undeniable Star power and a championship legacy, the Crabs were quicker than most to draw a blinking red dot. As the three batters with the highest stars on the team, all of the Crabdays were tasty targets for Consumers. 

Nagomi McDaniel was the first to be chomped on Day 70, and the hits only kept on coming. During Fridays’ first series in the Crabitat—the first time Harrell met Baldwin Breadwinner on the field since the two were Exchanged in the Season 14 Elections—Harrell was Attacked by Consumers. 

Day 91 marked the first time York Silk played in the Cookout since being Incinerated. The Fridays celebrated in style with four parties in a single game. Joy turned to horror on Day 92, as Friday Fans and players alike saw their hometown hero devoured by Consumers in another gruesome Attack. It was a terrible sight for everyone but Yosh Carpenter, who Partied in the very next Inning.

The vicious Attacks came to a head in Game 3 of the Crabs’ Division Series matchup with the Kansas City Breath Mints. Consumers Attacked Harrell, revealing to the League at large what happens when Consumers try to take from a player with no Soul left to give: Harrell became Redacted, and disappeared from the Crabs’ Lineup. 

Nagomi McDaniel, already running on empty after drawing the ire of Consumers in games 1 and 2, was the next to go. Near the end of the seventh Inning, Nagomi was chomped for the final time, and became Redacted. 

The Crabs beat the Breath Mints in that series but were too depleted to move past the Moist Talkers in the Mild League Championship Series. Baltimore starts Season 16 with zero Crabdays after those same Talkers plundered York. Our Dork is still only a few chomps away from joining Nagomi and Harrell, wherever they aren’t. 

The Crabday legacy lives on in the hearts of the old guard: Fridays players Sutton Dreamy, Montgomery Bullock, and Valentine Games were all Crabs when Blaseball first returned in Season 1.  

Good Wills Hunted

Coming off of six straight wimdy Wills, including some which made the team worse, the Fridays were desperate for an Election with no surprises. For the first time since the introduction of Wills, the Elections had immaculate vibes. The most popular Wills went through, not a single player was stolen, and the Fridays got some nice Blessings to boot.

With their first Will, the Fridays used Move to switch Juice Collins from batter to pitcher. It is not a crime (as far as you know) to throw the ball as well as Juice does: at 4.5 Stars, Juice is now the second-highest rated player in the rotation. The #PitcherOfJuice also cleanses the Lineup by letting Hawaii’s better batters bat more often.

With their second Will, the Fridays gave Baldwin Breadwinner an Alternate Trust. Breadwinner took a minor hit to defense and baserunning, but gained two whole stars in batting and the new Modification Parasite, which is useless on a batter. Breadwinner was the team’s worst batter in Season 14, but is now only a Party or two away from becoming as strong as Alyssa Harrell, the former teammate and now-Redacted batter that Breadwinner replaced in the Lineup.

The Fridays continued their run of planned luck by going in hard on the Batting Practice Blessing, boosting every batter’s batting by 0.1 to 0.2 stars. This comes stacked on top of the global boost to batting granted by the Bats Decree. Added together, this is a huge turnaround for what was the league’s third-worst offense by Runs scored.

Finally, Jacob Winner acquired Affinity for Crows via the Bird Brain Blessing, which the Fridays only had 1% of the votes in. Turns out some surprises can be good!

Vibing Onward

The turbulent waters of the Mild Low have calmed ever so slightly, leaving the Fridays a chance to swim upstream like the humble Salmon. The Moist Talkers are still quite strong on the batting side, especially with their new H2O blood, but they lost ace pitcher PolkaDot Patterson to a trade with the Flickering Sixpack Dogwalker. The Yellowstone Magic and Crabs have had their Lineups decimated by Redacted players, and the Crabs’ rock-solid Rotation was picked clean by a pair of Equivalent Exchanges. 

The Fridays now possess one of the strongest Lineups on paper: only two bad batters in an eight-player Lineup, buoyed by seven-star dreadnoughts Valentine Games and Beck Whitney. Their pitching isn’t consistent yet, but is still one of the stronger Rotations in the Mild League, especially if McBlase and Carpenter take the next step, and Juice Collins lives up to the potential they showed in the Coffee Cup.

If this roster can stay safe, and stay together, the Fridays may not Party at all in Season 16. And if everything goes just right, they aren’t too far off from discovering a brand new type of Party—a parade.

The post Vibing Among Sharks: Hawai’i Fridays Recap Season 15 appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

After their rise to the top of the Mild Low in Season 13, and their run to the Mild League Finals, expectations were unusually high for the Hawai‘i Fridays, granting them a sixth-place spot in BNN’s own Power Rankings. Though the ranking was overly optimistic, one line was particularly prescient: “It may come down to which teams have the more advantageous schedules.” 

Coming out of the Season 13 elections, the Fridays largely remained unchanged while their Mild Low friends, the Magic and the Moist Talkers, made big Offseason moves, each acquiring a star pitcher for their rotation. Hawai‘i drew a tough schedule in facing these teams, the eventual top two teams in the ILB, for nearly a third of their games. They went 6-24 against them, but in the rest of their games, they looked a bit more like last Season’s Fridays, going 39-30. 

The end result was the Fridays getting back to their Discipline Era roots of playing for PARTYTIME. But as Friday fans are well aware, even without Postseason on the table, stories abound in Blaseball. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights. 

New Players, Who This?

Season 14 saw the debut of pitcher Fenry Marlow, pulled up from the Shadows to replace Lizzy Pasta. They are the first rookie to debut for Hawai‘i since the team’s most recent incineration of Thomas England back in Season 4. Marlow seems good with decently low walks and high strikeouts but was top 10 worst pitchers in the league at allowing hits and home runs. Their flaws were enough to achieve the worst team record of 5-15 and 6.05 Earned Run Average (ERA). 

Marlow is one to watch if the Fridays continue to party. They may look bad now, but Fridays’ pitching ace Stevenson Heat had similar statistical output prior to a pair of Season 9 parties. Heat was top ten worst pitchers in runs allowed that season but threw the league a changeup by becoming one of the top ten best pitchers the very next season. 

Yosh Carpenter, the Season 13 Feedback replacement for Gabriel Griffith, performed quite well in their first full season as a pitcher for Hawai‘i. Carpenter led the team in ERA with a 2.31 mark, but inconsistent run support got them a 9-11 record. 

High -ides and Low -ibes

Flooding was frequent across the league, and The Cookout was no exception. On Day 10, Juice Collins set the Elsewhere speedrun record, returning in the same at-bat they disappeared— a mere five pitches after being swept away. However, Collins was swept away again on Day 41 and did not come back nearly as quickly. 

Sutton Dreamy and Christian Combs both followed them Elsewhere on Day 49, briefly leaving Hawai‘i with only five of eight batters until they returned over the next few games. Greer Gwiffin was the next to follow Collins, being swept away on Day 56. Games came and went with two Fridays missing before finally they both returned, Scattered and with no vibes, on Day 79. Here’s hoping Col-i– and Gwi–in have speedy recoveries. 

Boosts and Unboosts

Event-based stat changes saw the Fridays’ strengths get stronger and their weaknesses get weaker. Spears Taylor had an allergic reaction during Peanut weather, reducing their batting stars down to 1.5, the lowest on the team. Their defense is still vibing high at 5.5 stars. 

Fresh off of two straight seasons of making the playoffs, the team only partied three times in the 12 games for which they were eligible. Twice-infused 5-star batter Alyssa Harrell partied, bringing their Baserunning up to 5 stars. Already dominant pitchers Yosh Carpenter and Stevenson Heat partied as well, bumping their pitching ratings by half a star each.

No Credit? No Problem!

A new Credit rating introduced by the Coin in the Earlsiesta saw teams gain mysterious blinking red dots and players attacked by Consumers, which reduces their stats. The Fridays apparently did not raise the attention of these enigmatic creditors. In spite of their Sinking Ship, they ended the season comfortably at C level. 

Speaking of siestas, the Fridays completed two Renovations to The Cookout during Latesiesta, picking up a Peanut Mister and lowering their ballpark’s Inconvenience by 7%. While this iteration of the team is far from the most allergic the Fridays have been, the Mister should do wonders for peace of mind. A more convenient park should allow the small ball playing Fridays to up their hits and steals during home games, a much-needed boost for a middling offense. 

Former Friday Watch

The Fridays have seen a lot of roster turnover through the years, having only three Season 1 Fridays players still on their roster. But it doesn’t matter whether a player was hatched in Hawai‘i or only stopped by for a few games: once a Friday, always a Friday. Here’s a look at some of these forever Fridays’ accomplishments around the league. 

Boston’s Nagomi McDaniel, plundered in the Season 12 election, finally stepped out of the Shadows and made the switch to pitcher. Unburdened by Flinch, Nagomi flexed their six and a half pitching stars all the way to a league-leading 1.300 ERA and eight shutouts. Not far behind was San Francisco’s Gabriel Griffith, a late Season 13 feedback swap. Boosted by the Lovers’ Charm modifier, Griffith sailed to a second place 1.380 ERA with zero walks all season. 

Aldon Cashmoney, recently reacquired from the Hellmouth Sunbeams by the Hades Tigers, continued to put money in Fans’ pockets as one of the league’s top-hitting Idols. Sixpack Dogwalker, a Receiver on the Steaks, picked up a variety of temporary modifications via Echo over the Lateseason, as did frequent team hopper NaN. Karato Bean’s Spies narrowly missed the Postseason, while Basilio Fig and James Mora helped the Tacos and Magic, respectively, to 60+ wins and deep playoff runs. 

RIV York, Our Dork

Hawai‘i icon York Silk was incinerated on Day 87. York made their debut for the Fridays in Season 2, and after picking up the legendary Vibe Check bat in that season’s election, they became one of the best sluggers in the league, setting the Discipline Era single-season home run record. They were shelled at the end of Season 8, were taken by the Pods in Season 9, and fell to Canada in the fallout of the Shelled One’s demise, where they played until their incineration. 

In spite of their regular-season excellence, York was never able to power Hawai‘i to the Postseason. As a Moist Talker, they made the playoffs twice but lost in the divisional round both times— most recently to their old team, the Fridays. After their death this season, the Moist Talkers rallied from York’s loss, leading the regular season with 69 wins, and winning the ILB Championship in their honor. 

In terms of stats, significance to Blaseball as a whole, and impact on the world at large, York Silk is, without question, the greatest Hawai‘i Friday of all time. To paraphrase the Shelled One, they truly are Our Dork—not Hawai‘i’s dork, nor Canada’s dork, but everyone’s. Rest in Violence.

For now. 

Election Overhaul

The Fridays had an eventful but head-scratching election. Somehow, 14% of their votes went towards trading away their best batter, Harrell, for then-Dale member and former Friday Baldwin Breadwinner, a one star batter. However, the Dale had already reversed a previous season’s steal by Exchanging Logan Horseman for Breadwinner, meaning Harrell ended up on the division rival Baltimore Crabs. 

Furthering the Dale connection, the Fridays happened to pick up Roamin’ star batter Beck Whitney, whom the Dale revoked in another confusing move. This bumps the team’s Sinking Ship bonus down to 0%, though a six-star batter like Whitney is a nice consolation prize. 

Spears Taylor, hardly the best at drawing walks even before their allergic reaction, will now walk on one fewer ball thanks to the Fridays’ only Blessing. Hopefully, this will get them on base more often and counteract their allergic reaction this season. 

Finally, on a 2% vote, the Fridays gave up their second best batter, Greer Gwiffin, to plunder Tacos superstar and number one Idol Valentine Games. Games deserves the hype, and though the Idol gains may be smaller with their later spot on the Fridays’ larger lineup, Games is projected to be the Fridays’ first batter with over 1.000 on-base plus slugging (OPS) since Nagomi McDaniel, and before them, York Silk.  

Overall, the Fridays’ pitching stayed mostly the same, and their batting has improved in power but decreased in consistency. The Fridays’ small ball style suffers under Flooding, so adding a pair of home run threats could boost their offense. 

That said, they have their work cut out for them, as they are likely to draw a very tough schedule in the Mild Low. The league-leading Magic and Moist Talkers only improved this Offseason, and the Baltimore Crabs may see quite the resurgence after acquiring three big bats of their own: Nagomi McDaniel, York Silk, and the aforementioned Harrell, all former Fridays. 

That’s right. York Silk is back from the dead. They have the Debt mod, which has never been seen in action on a batter. And they’re batting for the Crabs, a fellow Mild Low team. 

Once again, the Fridays’ schedule is going to have a major impact on the course of their season, but this time, there’s nothing as paltry as a winning record or a Postseason Birth on the line. How many times will Hawai‘i face the Crabs? And when they do, what exactly will York Silk do to them? If Jaylen Hotdogfingers’ Season 7 was any indication, the Fridays may be giving up more than just home runs in Season 15. 

Get those vibes up Friday fans! And welcome back to Blaseball. 

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