Most Valuable Boston Flower: Could it be Jenkins Ingram? Jenkins is not the most talented batter, despite being at the head of the Boston Flowers lineup. Jenkins is not the best defender, despite attempting to field 485 of the 2,508 balls fielded by the team. However, that earnestness to be the one to call out, “I’ve got it, I’ve got it!” sets them apart from the rest of the line-up.

Let’s start with the facts, brought by the teams at SIBR and Blaseball.

Jenkins Ingram joined the Boston Flowers as a S1 Shadow. In seasons 22 and 23, Jenkins batted and pitched. Their BA and ERA weren’t great. Then, after the Fall, in Season N1, Jenkins Ingram was found to be the first batter in the Boston Flowers lineup. 

Let’s start with the first Season of Boston Flowers Fielding.
Jenkins is obviously fielding a lot of plays. As the player standing at third base, Ingram is in prime territory for grabbing hit balls on the left side of infield as well as nearby.

In the league as a whole: 15,122 hits went to the left, 11,350 hits went to center, and 10,024 hits went right.  Jenkins fielded 170 plays in the Infield, 97 Left Field, 44 Right Field, 48 Center.

Their Reach of 0.893 and Magnet of 0.102 combine together to give the Flowers a dominant defender that they’re fervently wishing would stay in the Infield. (Jenkins was about 75% successful at getting outs in the Infield, versus 59% successful at getting outs in the Outfield.)

Competing against Ramirez Winters of the Baltimore Crabs for best defender at third base, Jenkins’ 485 defensive plays are comparable to Ramirez’s 451. Ramirez boasted a 0.928 Magnet attribute, which perhaps provides them with their 81% out success rate overall. Ramirez’s 0.753 Reach left them wanting in some areas however: In Deep Left Field Ramirez would only show up 5 times and allow 3 hits, whereas Jenkins made it 9 times and allowed 1 hit. (Ramirez is 83% successful at getting outs in the Infield, versus 77% successful in the outfield.) It should be noted that the Crab’s Outfield has 5 defenders, vs the Boston Flowers 4, both of which could impact how often they each choose to go for a ball there, especially considering the utter lack of a Deep Center Field defender for the Flowers. 

On to Batting!
Jenkins’ experience batting in 388 at bats (AB) brought only a 0.211 batting average (BA) lags behind Zack Sanders’ 0.298 BA. (That’s right, Flowers fans, the leader in triples Zack Sanders didn’t clear a 0.300 BA; let’s hope that the bats bloom in Season N2 after that Team Boost!) Jenkins improving as a batter could prove very useful: they are one of six full switch hitters in the ILB, and the only non-right-handed batter in the Flowers Line-Up. If the placement of hits matters, this means Jenkins is equally likely to hit to the left or right fields (and almost as likely to hit to center). Sadly, it looks like all of Chaotic Good has right fielders aplenty, so this advantage may not often come up. It could matter in a match-up against the Yellowstone Magic however, as they have fewer players there and are likely to be one of the top defending teams in Blaseball this upcoming season. 

As the fourth best batter for making successful hits, Jenkins trails behind Zack Sanders, Zelda Highway, and Duha Kamara. Similarly, Jenkins at 18 walks for the season is behind Jessica Telephone at 23, Duha Kamara at 21, and Skylar Khan at 20, while tied with Daniel Mendoza.

Ingram is leading the team in a few areas however! With 45 singles, Jenkins is only closely matched by Duha at 42 Singles, as the rest of the team are all sub 30 in the stat. Now, the rest of the Boston Flowers have as many (Skylar Khan) or more (the other 6 Flowers) doubles so that might not mean much. But that doesn’t stop Jenkins in being tied for most RBI on the team at 38 with Zelda Highway. The tie for most home runs certainly doesn’t hurt either! (Tied at 8 with Duha.) 

Anyways, thanks for reading this far. It turns out that, according on Astrology, Zelda Highway is the best player by overall stars in Blaseball. All the above about Jenkins Ingram is true, but it looks like Zelda Highway is either good at, great at, or decent at everything but Stuff. A former Tokyo Lift Shadow player, Zelda fell onto the Flowers and brought with a level of star power we haven’t seen on the Flowers since Nagomi Mcdaniel or the original Jaylen Hotdogfingers. But this time, Zelda is doing the thing she should be doing: Batting! 

In 314 AB, Zelda got 91 hits, struck out 59 times and had 8 walks. 49 doubles (22^nd overall in Doubles),  13 Triples (tied for 9^th overall). At 0.28981 BA, Zelda trails behind Zack Sanders in most categories, but also 72 fewer at bats than Zack. They had the same amount of home runs, and Zelda hit one more single. Zelda is tied for most RBI, and is also in the traditional Jacob Haynes position on the line-up: last batter. And this is despite Zelda following Skylar, Kelvin, and Dervin!

Zelda fielded the second most hit balls at 347 (where-as Zack only fielded 188) and only allowed 67 hits. At 280 outs, she sits at 80.69% of her fielding plays resulting in outs, and that is while being the Boston Flowers Back Flanker. As one of eight Back Flankers in the league, how does she rate? 

• 1. Zelda Highway of the Boston Flowers at 80.69% Plays with Outs (PwO)
• 2. Deion Gamage of the Seattle Garages at 79.17% PwO
• 3. Chambers Kennedy of the Core Mechanics at 78.96% PwO
• 4. Wanda Schenn of the San Francisco Lovers at 78.90% PwO
• 5. Mindy Kugel of the Kansas City Breath Mints at 77.93% PwO
• 6. Sigmund Castillo of the Broken Ridge Jazz Hands at 75% PwO
• 7. Donia Bailey of the LA Unlimited Tacos 70.27% PwO
• 8. Soojin Gloom of the LA Unlimited Tacos at 66.95% (PwO)

She’s the best Back Flanker in the ILB, before the Team Boost. After the Team Boost, she is now the first among the Stars. (Tiera Wigdoubt, the best batter pulled from the Horizon? 96^th on overall stars.) I hesitate to have one of our own estimated, but here’s the truth: Zelda Highway is the Boston Flower to watch bloom this upcoming season!

–Barswanian

The post Boston Flowers to Watch: Jenkins Ingram and Zelda Highway appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

Boston Flowers

Having finally rolled a very good team the Boston Flowers were spoiled for choice for our Charge. Our best pitcher, Rosemary Penguin took an early lead due to holding the incredible feat of being undefeated all the way to the Midsea-

FEEDBACK DETECTED

PEYTON DRYSDALE AND SQUID BROOM WERE SWITCHED IN THE FEEDBACK.

A new challenger arrived from the Yellowstone Magic. Squid Broom was a beloved player by fans since their hatching due to their name. Squid Broom’s personality is as straightforward as you can get. Please imagine a squid. Please imagine a broom. There you go, that’s Squid Broom.

FEEDBACK DETECTED

SQUID BROOM AND LUCIUS PRINCE WERE SWITCHED IN THE FEEDBACK.

Oh. They got Feedbacked again and are on the Fridays now… except that’s not true. Owing to a “Feature,” certain weather-induced player moves un-happened. Squid Broom was still on the Boston Flowers roster and available for Charging even though their player page listed them on the Hawai’i Fridays. 

The Flowers chose to lean into the opportunity to commit a data crime and charged Squid Broom, or more accurately the Fridays charged Squid Broom in addition to their chosen charge Moth Frosting. 

The Flowers now only have two static players, and the Fridays have four and no one has any idea what that’ll mean for the future. Data Crimes!

Breckenridge Jazz Hands

For the third Circuit in a row, the Jazz Hands had terrible pitching and not-good-enough batting. In the first week, we quickly fell to the bottom of the standings, barely above our long term rivals, the (contemptible) Moist Talkers. We spent the week excited for the Fiesta, and voted leadoff hitter Zee Phantom our party host.

In the Fiesta, we partied a lot Game 1, lost Game 2, and broke Blaseball in Game 3. Squid Psst cemented their status as a Jazz Hands legend by pitching two games simultaneously, getting Night Shifted in one, and Frozen in the other. We split Game 3 with the Pies to end our 3 game series tied 2-2, and somehow “advanced” the next round, only to see it cancelled due to noise complaints.

Like many teams, we choose to host a Sunday Mixer, which accidentally morphed into a Formal. The Divinity boost supercharged our Lineup of inconsistent Home Run hitters, propelling us to a slightly less terrible performance in Week 2. We somehow managed to win two Bloods in the midweek Blood Jam session, gaining Fire blood for “ace” pitcher Lily Cole, and Electric blood for Squid’s Night Shift replacement Troy Bowman. Unfortunately, we never got a shot at the Title Belt, and failed to qualify for the Postseason.

Zee Phantom had been an early Charge favourite, but Lily Cole rapidly overtook them in Week 2. Lily gained many fans by taking Game 1 of the Fiesta to extra innings so they could party before throwing the game winning strike out— a Shakespearean performance which reminded us of our beloved Lowe Forbes. Lily’s solid performance in week two and acquisition of Fire blood made them the clear choice to Charge, a decision I’m sure none of us will come to regret.

–deafhobbit

Core Mechanics 

After being presented our team roster for the Circuit, the Mechanics were in a partying mood— after all, being an average team in the strongest division in the League was just the thing to have to make it far in the Midseason Fiesta, or even win it for the promised prize! To top it off, we’d have a lot of chances for partying to make a good run at the second half of the season, so everything was looking great for a successful season. 

Other than missing a chance at getting another Bees Manhattan (the Mechs previously charged a player of the same name last Short Circuit), the first week of regular season play went about as expected, we declared our favourite bad pitcher Zebrina Vincent our Guest of Honour, even got a First Round Bye to start the Fiesta…

What do you mean, the Fiesta got cancelled after the first round? That was not the plan.

Silver lining: the Title Belt still was a fun feature for the Mechs, being holders of one of the two contested belts for way longer than we should’ve been, finally losing it to the San Francisco Lovers after an eventful and confusing 40-day reign. 

The rest of the season was marked by a flurry of Peanuts, with two Allergic and two Yummy reactions happening on our roster. Both yummy reactions happened on Pedro Vixen, an already strong pitcher who ended up almost Expansion Era shaped because of it. After much deliberation, Pedro Vixen was also selected as the team’s Charge target, as they always respected excellence in pitching. Just need to fix our lineup in the next Era, hopefully.

– Nitro (N1tr00#8811 on Discord)

Kansas City Breath Mints

Ball 1-0. Ball 2-0. Ball 3-0. Boat Hamless draws a walk.

In Kansas City, Boat Hamless’ plate appearances were so regular you could set your watch by them. The method by which they achieved this differed depending on who you asked— some argue that a boat has no identifiable strike zone, others that Hamless had some sort of psychic barrier that repelled strikes, and one opposing pitcher claimed “They just, like, stand there. Menacingly.” Whatever the cause, fans agreed that Boat’s incredible walk rate, OBP and league leading OPS (ignoring, as another reporter put it, undead invaders from another universe) merited a Charge into the Microphone, optimistic they’ll return to lead the League in walks again.

But Boat alone didn’t win the Breath Mints our second ring! Tube Rust was second in the League for Wins, Yuri O’Lantern had a phenomenal postseason BA of 0.407 and Liv Blather and Levar Downey used their Monitor-approved Blood to improve their performances. Most daringly of all, Layla Chambers pulled off the rarely seen but highly effective “catch fire in the postseason, get replaced with a better pitcher who pitches a save” manoeuvre. A brief timeline of events, with time given relative to the Material plane:

11:08pm UTC: Layla lets in three runs from the Worms

11:09pm UTC: Three fans comment “i don’t care if we win as long as layla dies”, “layla go in the fire ,” “has anyone actually been incined this season?”

11:10pm UTC: Rogue Umpire incinerated Layla Chambers! 

Kale Torch then led the team to victory, sporting no losses in their incredibly short career. Wherever they are, I hope they’re enjoying a nice retirement party with the Monitor. And I hope the Mints claim another ring in the Next Era!

• Finn

Miami Dale

Season Cinema was one of the better batters on the Dale, holding the team record for homers, sacrifice plays, and-

Wait, this article was supposed to be about our season? Not our Season?

Well, the Miami Dale had something that could certainly be called a season. The Lineup looked promising with bright stars in the form of Season Cinema, William Heat, Lamar Diomira, and Grace Ray. We also had some incredibly good names in the form of Snake Johns, Stone Pretzel, Season Cinema, and William Heat!

Our rotation? Not so much. Norris Manhattan was our only real superstar, but Emma Bark was ruthless despite her 0.4 stars. Which was bad, because we wanted to be good. Or was it good because we wanted to be bad?

Our goals were conflicting, which proved to be our downfall. We scraped past the Midseason Fiesta, couldn’t clutch it in time for the Playoffs, and choked when we got in through Title Belt power.

Now, a keen-eyed reader will notice that the player we Staticked, Adeline Revelry, is not a ‘star.’ They were more of an underwhelming pitcher who was Frozen more often than not.

But the one key trait that put them above all the other contenders (besides their impeccable name) was Blood Jams Vol. I. The wimd blew in our favor and we snatched Electric blood from the Garages in a repeat of history. And it couldn’t have gone to a more appropriately named player.

Despite all the Features, all the losses, and all the Title Belt shenanigans, this is certain to be a circuit the Dale will remember. At least, the ones who were watching will.

CLEAR FLESH CAN’T LOSE MAX VELOCITY DALE!

-Mango (guzmania#4173 on Discord)

New York Millennials

The Gamme 4 Millennials have been a fun bunch to watch; living completely normal lives until a Microphone emerged in the sky and forcing them to play Blaseball, each of them offered something interesting. Irene Fashion, Coyote Stone, Max Quigley, and Calvin Nether had a strong core in our Lineup. Violeta Cantu led the Mills in Triples, Cy Knives and Harold Castillo held their own, and even Cynthia Chalk and Markus Torch would impress with the occasional stolen base and home run.

The pitching staff was mostly solid, with Mordecai Damage sporting a respectable 2.41 ERA. Asher Juice, Dazzy Deng, and Loner Shelley pitched well, and Daniel Darko… was our Guest of Honor!

Loner Shelley would stand out the most for us, however. A deadpan cosmologist getting the first yummy reaction to a peanut since the Discipline Era, even the Shelled .1 deemed them its progeny. A combination of intense fan interest, solid stats all around, and highly sought after Relevancy (a rare feat among Mills), Loner Shelley was our Charge. While we didn’t perform poorly, we managed to stand out, play about average, and have some memorable moments. Whether it was defeating the Crabs in two simultaneous games, almost facing ourselves in the Fiesta, or Irene receiving a Jersey of Invitation to feature cameos of Deceased players from across universes, I’m proud of these players.

–Clip Clipperson

Yellowstone Magic

The final Short Circuit had us more divided than any other Circuit before it— but that wasn’t a bad thing.

 While it looked like we were going to have a singular star player in Squid Broom, them becoming a Flower meant that we had a better chance to see our team as a whole. While we did have players who performed consistently well, there was no longer a singular player on which all of our attention was focused. 

Peyton Drysdale and Isaac Puffins were both fearsome baserunners. Henri Kraal and Kay Pleck could hit the ball good. Slosh Chalk had a funny name and played well. Not only was our team statistically well-rounded but it felt like everyone was being equally appreciated by us adoring fans. Everyone had their favourite. And in the end, 56% of our adoration was poured into Errol Wool, our final Charge. 

Not only was Wool the only of Magic’s Charges to be in the Lineup rather than rotation, but there was also no one reason as to why they got our last burst of support. 

Though Errol was our Guest of Honor, their buffs from partying ended up being undone by the Ruthless onslaught of Snow, leaving them statistically worse than they started. Instead, we were charmed by the irresistible adoration of a player who was popularly perceived as a sheep. Punny cheers were too good to let go. The image of Charging that thick fluffy fleece with electricity evoked images that we couldn’t pass up. For some, it was simply that “Errol Wool” felt really good to say. Our varied reasoning behind charging Wool is a great reflection of how we experienced these last two weeks as a whole. 

This Circuit, it wasn’t all about the numbers. It was also about the love.

Mal (malgic#8522 on Discord)

And a final note – BNN relies on reports from readers like you to fill out articles! If you’d like to contribute something in the future, head on over to our discord!

The post The Last Dance: Short Circuit 3 Uptempo Recap appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

Welcome to what we hope will become a regular series of articles, reporting on the charged players in each circuit. We’re starting out with Frozen Sky since we had several BNN reporters who focus on these teams— with luck, we will be able to produce more articles like this in the future!

Boston Flowers

The hero…. the record setter… the legend… Lyra Vitamin! They were the Boston Flowers first Charge and the powerhouse leading the League in several categories while setting records in Boston.

Jose Gravy, the Boston Flowers Charge in Short Circuit 3, was not quite that. Short Circuit 3 had blessed the Boston Flowers with a team who excelled in one thing and one thing only, entering Party Time. Despite that, Gravy was certainly our best player.

By the time the Mid-Season Election rolled around Jose Gravy had taken the lead in several batting categories, and they didn’t slow down afterwards. 

Jose Gravy won the Snow Mittens, heavily improving their defence, and the Teams as a whole.  The Feet Warmers Amplification didn’t go to waste either, Gravy was spotted walking onto first, and then stealing their way back home.

Their opposition in discussions about who to Charge was Lila Icicle, who you may have heard of before for being incredibly bad. Icicle was the last batter in the Circuit to hit the ball, and was either the worst overall or next to it in pretty much every imaginable metric of batting skill.

Having terrible batters isn’t news to the Flowers, Icicle had the third worst OPS+ in Blaseball history*, behind two fellow Flowers Moses Mason and Salih Ultrabass.

Icicles’ habit of getting Frozen, however, was extremely funny in relation to their name.

Once more the Boston Flowers felt themselves torn between a loveable skilled player, and a loveable terrible player. The Team loved both players, but internal Team polling on the discord made it clear, Jose Gravy was set to go on a journey to the great static in the sky. 

In the end the Team successfully Discharged Gravy with a respectable 64% of their Charge votes.

With one good player and one legendary player now Charged, it’s looking like the Boston Flowers are hoping they will one day see these players return to play with the Boston Flowers again. Let’s Grow!

* – Over a 90+ Game period 

–Kidror

Breckenridge Jazz Hands

The Jazz have taken a very relaxed approach to the Short Circuits voting. We don’t know what charging does, so we have been “Free Jazzing” every Election. Though only one player can win, so two players became the front runners. 

Hester Scythe has something the prime universe Jazz team has needed forever, pitching stars. Had Hester been a pitcher they would have been the best pitcher in this universe (until Giannis got the Fist).

Prometheus Bug is a fan favorite. They have a top tier name, had fun upshelling campaign, great baserunning and fan loyalty, and are just a solid batter. 

Hester Scythe managed to eke out the charge vote win. Based on Jazz Hands tracked votes it was a close to 50/50 race. If charging does eventually involve the prime universe the Jazz hope that the team’s pitching will get a needed boost, but also hope that Hester never picks up a bat again.  

-Malst (Malst#9560 on Discord)

Canada Moist Talkers

This circuit, the Talkers voted to Charge Saturday Elder. After coming first in the league in the main season, the Talkers went on to win the championship, and Saturday’s performance is in no small part responsible for this victory! Their main season performance was good (0.283 BA, and 0.887 OPS), but with a postseason BA of 0.423 and OPS of 1.271, they were the star of the postseason.

SIBRmetrics aside, though, there is a wonderful story involving Saturday that led to their popularity among fans. On Day Seven, the Moist Talkers faced off against the Hawai’i Fridays. After nine Innings, the Talkers were down 5-2. The Fridays’ pitcher Byran Bono wasn’t particularly strong– Bono would go on to sport an ERA of 5.30 for the season– but they were having a good outing. Tilda Dasher and Nico Haycox went up to bat and hit a ground out and flyout respectively. Three runs down, and with two Outs in the final inning, even to devout fans the game seemed lost.

But then the incredible happened– Valkyrie Domski, second worst batter on the team by OPS, hit a double on the first pitch! Three walks from Bing Assiri, Jasper Coven and Carin Burns followed; the score was now 5-3 with Valkyrie safely at home again. Kinsley Reed hit a double to tie up the score, and now not only a victory but Shame was within reach!

Saturday Elder up to bat. Two balls, and then– a single! Saturday Shamed the Fridays! They went on to steal a base and get batted in by Sasha Baths, before Tilda Dasher hit a ground out to end the game. This inning had seen the Talkers come from behind to score five runs and Shame the Fridays, and every one of their batters saw play. What a performance!

Saturday became a fan favourite after this, with the fans proudly chanting “Saturdays are made for Dads!” to spur on this superb batter. As one fan put it, they were charged for their high spits and hits, and I hope we get to see similar stories and performances from Saturday in the future!

–Finn

Hades Tigers

After the amazing discharge of Rat Love (have you heard of Rat Love?), The Tigers cuddled up in a snowy cloud of frozen sloth and took a nap. Lovely dreams of rats dancing through empty heads. And thus the stage is set for a well deserved slumber party.

Initial review of the new roster told fans one thing: these Tigers suck. This alone was enough for a somber celebration. But more, we are now lighter than air as Hades freezes over. In typical Tiger nature, our new roster had a mighty thirst for base and an inability to throw a ball. Amusingly, that thirst was not matched with any capacity to actually steal. Meaning ridiculous plays as dizzy Tigers fell over each other trying to round the diamond.

So, with a yawn. One solitary fan picked pitcher Ethan Rivet. Alone making up 39% of the total vote. When asked for comment, this stripe stated: ”I liked the name and didn’t want to not spend my votes.”

So congratulations to Ethan Rivet. Among the Tiger’s pitchers, second best. In the context of this circuit— not objectively awful.

Many Stripes, One Sleepy Tiger.

-Khalvin8 (Khalvin8#1127 on Discord)

Kansas City Breath Mints

In the Mid-Season Election, the Breath Mints won the Snow Shovel. Saoirse Singh’s Snow Shovel (try saying that three times fast) was a core component of the Breath Mints’ offense, with a much-improved BA and OPS post-election (and starting from a solid base). Their offensive SIBRmetrics with the shovel, as calculated by one fan, were .312 BA / .387 OBP / .688 SLG / 1.075 OPS (179 OPS+). The OPS+ metric evaluates batting performance against the league average, and roughly translates to Singh producing 79% more runs than the average player– a wonderful performance!

They were, however, not the only batter considered for a Charge. When Breath Mints fans convened for our Parliamint, we were unable to choose between Saoirse Singh and Maisy Geiger. Geiger’s performance over the same period was comparable, and in fact sported an OPS+ of 216! Some fans, hopeful that a Charged player could return to us in some form, argued that if Maisy could perform like this without their own Snow Shovel, they could be even better further down the line! Others argued that Maisy’s performance might be in part due to their ability to draw walks, and hence their performance might struggle against more Ruthless pitchers, such as those seen in the late Expansion Era.

Ultimately, fans loved both players, with chants for including “Hot Singhles!,” “SINGHER TIME!,” “Geiger makes it count!,” “RADIOACTIVE!,” and “We can count on Maisy!” Choosing between these two players proved impossible, with tied votes after two rounds. We resolved therefore to leave the choice up to the wimds of fate, all agreed that no matter who won, we’d have charged a great batter that we were proud of. And this is exactly what happened– here’s hoping Singh returns to lead a Breath Mints offense in the future!

–Finn

New York Millennials

Clip Clipperson, reporting Live from Upstate New York, in the area where the Gamma 3 Millennials had been playing for the last two weeks over the recent Season. 

Rumors suggested that Eli Nocturne, Team Captain, local Coffee Barge owner, and recipient of the Fourth Strike Distortion in the Midseason Election, had kidnapped the rest of the Team to play Blaseball for mysterious ends. I attempted to get an interview with Nocturne, however there was a Scream Crumpet wailing in the snack case. What I could piece together from Eli included, “Welcome to the Coffee Barge, can I interest you in an Xpresso?” and “I’ve had a change of heart and do believe that perhaps kidnapping Blaseball Players to be was bad, actually.”

Manuela “Manny” Rowdy, reported to be a “hockey” player, whatever that is, from the New York you may be reading this from right now. Manny Rowdy (4.00 ERA, 13-8 W/L, 209 SO) performed admirably, among the better pitchers in the League, despite showing so much promise as a batter and fielder. When questioned, Rowdy said, “Well, you know, pitching seemed like a strong challenge, and my captor, er, Captain, Eli Nocturne, said they were short a pitcher.” 

As the Postseason Election drew to a close, Manny Rowdy skated their way into the Charging station, believing it was a way to get back home. Magnus Plague, an Ohio Doctor and newly Feedbacked Millennial, gave a shrug when questioned about the Microphone’s Charges.

Local Millennials Fans had some comments about the last Circuit:

“Look, sometimes you lore a haunted coffee barge prison and you lore it so well one of your players immediately escapes via Feedback.” -rudy
“They not only escaped, but left a helpfully mean Plague in their place!” -eberron
“Eli Nocturne sure does know how to pick who they kidnap huh” -Woosh
“I can’t believe Mills good again and it’s in a universe where it doesn’t even matter” –erobo
“What else can I say? Mills mills.” -local hydropastry fan

What will the next Circuit have for our New York Millennials? New Year’s Blowouts are what we’ve known for, and whoever is Hosting it should look forward to seeing the Millennials in the Playoffs again, or at the very least, a 010 Midseason Enhanced Party Time Invitation in their future!

–Clip Clipperson

And just a final note – we have only been able to make an article like this for Frozen Sky so far. If you’re a fan of a team and want to write a report like these, to show off your charged player and why they were chosen, please get in touch! We’d love to produce more articles like this in the future, with input from fans of each team.

The post Icy Lightning: Frozen Sky SC2 Charges appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

The end of the Expansion Era has come and gone, and with all this time on our hands we’ve been presented the perfect opportunity to explore the last 24 seasons in more depth.

And so the All-Star project was born, what would each team’s All-Star roster look like?

Many teams have explored the idea so far, and now it’s the Boston Flowers turn.

Here are the rules below:

1. Team sizes will be standard. 9 Lineup and 5 Rotation Players. Players cannot be considered Elsewhere or Shelled.
2. The Selection must represent a single season played with that team.
3. The player must have played for at least one full season with that team.
4. A player can only be selected once across all 14 slots.
5. No Replicas are allowed.

Lineup

Let’s dig in starting with the first three batters:

Jacob Haynes (S24) – BA 0.384 – OPS 1.151 
Scores Baserunner (S13) – BA 0.357 – OPS 1.091
Lenny Spruce (S24) – BA 0.354 – OPS 1.131

Jacob, Scores, and Lenny represent the most consistent batters to take to the plate in a Flowers jersey and thus make the perfect choices to open things up. 

In Season 24 the Boston Flowers managed to finish in “1st” despite the… shenanigans, and my investigation into their All-Star roster has shown that it was quite possibly their best season player-performance wise too. 

Four of our best performing players came from that Season, beating out Seasons 11, and 18 both tied with 2 players each.

Jacob Haynes, a Season 1 veteran, had the most consistent batting average in team history with a solid 0.384 BA in Season 24.

Scores Baserunner came out hard early at the beginning of the Expansion Era cementing themself as the second most consistent batter in team history.

Lenny Spruce has stolen quite a few bases in their time, taking 27 in Season 24 despite being on a 13 player long Lineup.

Next, we have the cleanup crew:

Margarito Nava (S24) – SLG 0.782 – BA 0.345
Hiroto Cerna (S9) – SLG 0.723 – BA 0.327
Beck Whitney (S4) – SLG 0.618 – BA 0.312

Margarito Nava is an all-around great batter, but in particular, they’re the single best slugger the team has ever had, sure to bring their teammates home with an impressive 0.782 SLG. 

If they don’t succeed, Hiroto Cerna will burn bright and follow up with their impressive SLG of 0.723.

Beck Whitney is well-known for their performances on the Miami Dale and the Hawaii Fridays but their skill at hitting home runs by the dozen existed even back during their time on the Boston Flowers.

And last but not least, the final three:

Nic Winkler (S11) –  BA 0.307 – OPS 1.01
Glabe Moon (S14) – BA 0.284 – OPS 0.950
Gloria Bugsnax (S11) –  BA 0.274 – OPS 0.932

Finding the last three was the hardest part of the endeavor. Boston has spent so long with an oversized Lineup that after our best and brightest there’s a long list of competent batters ready to fill in.

Ultimately, three well-known Flowers came out to round things out.

Nic has been consistent since their birth in Season 2, Glabe Moon is a defensive powerhouse who now rests in the Vault as a Legend, and finally, Gloria Bugsnax, a thief of more than just bases.

Rotation

Lowe Forbes (S24) 0.52 ERA
Chorby Short (S18)  2.15 ERA
Nagomi McDaniel (S14) 1.30 ERA
Cory Twelve (S18) 2.35 ERA
Castillo Turner (S21) 1.35 ERA

Lowe is a newcomer to the team, having been taken in Season 23 from the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, and only left the Shadows on Day 1 of Season 24. But thanks to the Underhanded Modification, they quickly took the lead with an ERA of merely 0.52.

Season 18 was Boston’s strongest pitching season, with both Chorby Short and Cory Twelve joining our All-Star team from that point in time. 

Chorby Short had 8 Shutouts in the regular season, with Cory Twelve only one behind with 7 Shutouts. Cory Twelve gave out a grand total of 0, yes, 0 walks in the regular season of Season 18.

If you ever look up the definition of “giving no quarter” all you’ll see is a photo of these two powerhouses, they were responsible for a combined 688 strikeouts in the Season 18 regular season.

Not to be outdone, Legendary player Nagomi McDaniel made the most of their time on the Flowers, also reaching 8 Shutouts and 220 strikeouts despite playing on a larger Rotation.

And of course, the true Boston Flowers All-Star Castillo Turner is here to close out the roster. Castillo Turner has done many impressive things in their career, both as a legendary batter and pitcher but their true home is throwing strike after strike at the mound.

Castillo only narrowly falls behind Nagomi McDaniel in terms of ERA, with a respectable 5 Shutouts and 255 strikes to their name in Season 21.

Closing Words

The Boston Flowers tend to be overlooked due to their history of a long Lineup and weak roster, understandably so. But in digging into the numbers, it really shows that they had potential. 

In the future, if they choose to slim down their roster they’ll quickly dig themselves out of Underbracket contention and right into the Overbracket… if those are even things when Blaseball returns. 

Nobody knows what the future holds, so only one thing is certain: We’re the Flowers!

This article is part of the Dream Team Series, in which our writers look back on the Discipline and Expansion Eras to create the strongest version of our beloved teams. Read the first in the series here. 

The post Flower Power: Boston Flowers Dream Team appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

Welcome to the Boston Flowers Season 23 Recap!
This was a Season of great change for Boston, we had new players among us, reached the Postseason, and had two players feature in the Semi-Centennial.

Let’s Dig In!

Season 22 Election Recap

The Boston Flowers tried to perform a cool trick in the Election, but fate can be cruel and we got tricked instead.

The plan was to trade Chorby Short for Castillo Turner, and then place Chorby Short back in our Shadows. Thus keeping both beloved players, and having Chorby avoid being taken by the Mass Attractor Blessing.
The plan went off perfectly, up until it didn’t.

Yep. That’s us. I bet you’re wondering how we got here. 

Okay, it’s not that complicated. The ordering of our Wills meant we swapped Chorby into the Shadows before trading them for Castillo and then moving them back to our Shadows. 

This left both Castillo Turner and Chorby Short in our Shadows when the Seattle Garages won the Gachapon Blessing, which gave them a player from every other team’s Shadows. 

We’re the Flowers, so naturally, we lost Castillo Turner.

We did manage to win a Blessing of our own in the Election at least.

The Insider Trading Blessing gave each of our players with an empty item slot an item with the “Traitor” Modification, which lets players swap items with their teammates. 

We are the Flowers though, so keep that Modification in mind for later.

Season 23 Results

The Boston Flowers finished last in Wild Low with a total of 49 Wins, and a record of 34-65. 

Over the course of the Season, we gained a huge 15 Extra Wins, which was the third-highest amount in the League, narrowly behind the Sunbeams and Moist Talkers – who each gained 16 Extra Wins.

As the Division Losers Boston headed back down to the Underbracket for another go but the team had grown too tall to go that low and hit our head on the doorframe.

Two Boston Flowers, Alberto Tosser and Jaylen Hotdogfingers, participated in the Semi-Centennial Exhibition Match. Prominent former Flowers, Castillo Turner and Beck Whitney, also laced up and played in the match.

Let’s get started by talking about the Earlseason.

Short Handed

One thing was left out in our Election recap— with the help of The Fifth Base, Baldwin Breadwinner had Super Roamed over to our Rotation at the end of the Election.

Our Traitorous players quickly took to playing a game of Musical Chairs but whoever doesn’t finish the week with a chair has to leave forever.

Because We’re the Flowers our Election misfortune didn’t just claim Castillo Turner, but also Chorby Short who stole the base and roamed away to join the New York Millennials.

The Earlseason was weird. Wild Low took a heavy lead over the League in terms of Wins, spending several periods of time with most of the Division above the rest of entire other Divisions.

There was a clear gap between our ability and the rest of Wild Low, but we persevered in trying to keep up with them anyway.

We made ample use of our Fax Machine and a little of our Voicemail over the course of the Season, starting early on Day Three. Below are just a few of our many, many Faxes.

You probably noticed a new name to the Boston Flowers in those Faxes and we’ll talk about how that happened later. 

Despite our best efforts to improve our team midseason and 10 extra Wins, by the Latesiesta the space between us and the rest of our Division had widened enough that the only direction left to go in was down.

It’s the Latesiesta and that means it’s time for…

A Walk in the Park

Season 23 was Blaseballs Semi-Centennial, and that meant it was time to Party! 

So Party the Boston Flowers shall!

We came up with Operation: Rave Party to fulfill our need to turn The Garden into the perfect place to party.

Step 1: Get a working Light Switch so we can have a Rave. 

The Light Switch also makes The Garden flip its eDensity, so now instead of weighing us down it’s sending us soaring upwards.

Step 2: You need to wait for it to be Night to host a Rave, so we chose to make The Garden have more Night Weather. 

We didn’t know what it did at the time, but we now know that Night Weather causes a “Night Shift” that swaps a Shadows Player onto the active roster, boosting both players’ stats. 

Step 3: Glitter, Always More Glitter.

Nature’s Gifts

The economy had continued to drift off with the losses of economic giants such as Paula Turnip, Alberto Tosser, Don Mitchell, & Wyatt Glover so this time there were fewer gifts to go around.

We decided to take our fate into our own hands and head down to the Party early.

The Squiddish Egg Drop was because well, why not?

The funding for our gifts came from the generosity of our fellow teams. 

The Dogs made an appearance this time, with the Magic and Mechanics both returning to help us out as they’ve done before.

We appreciate you coming to our aid time and time again. Many Teams, One League. 

A Garden of Thieves

Armed with Early to the Party, Boston made several sprints towards Party Time. First, we took an 8 Game Losing Streak from Day 77 to 84, and then another from Day 86 to 93.

We are The Flowers, so we stumbled near the end and entered the Party a few days later than anticipated but entered at a respectable Day 85.

As I mentioned earlier, Boston had some unfamiliar faces on our roster. 

Those were obtained as a result of the Ratified Thieves Guild. Every time we lost by 9 or more runs while playing at The Garden, we would steal a player or item from our opponent’s shadows— and we hit the jackpot not once, but twice!

On Day 69, we obtained Campos Arias from the Breckenridge Jazz Hands and then on Day 83, we stole from the Jazz Hands again, taking yet another beloved player this time in the form of Lowe Forbes.

We weren’t done yet. On Day 88, the Wild Wings were forced to hand over Cat McSriff, and then on Day 90, we took Pangolin Ruiz for good measure.

Now armed and ready with three new players we were ready to head down into the Underbracket once more. 

Underchampionship & Semi-Centennial

We began the Underchampionship sitting in a comfortable 3rd Seed, dodging the Wild Card Round.

The Wildcard LA Unlimited Tacos defeated the Jazz Hands with a quick 2-0, moving on to face down the Hades Tigers while we took on the Atlantis Georgias.

In Game 1, the Georgias dominated the lead, scoring run after run, beating us down 12-5. 

But this is the Underbracket and here the losing team Wins, so this would’ve been fantastic news if it wasn’t for the interference of Sun 2 letting Atlantis gain a win by scoring 10 runs, and then a second Win by leaving us in the lead when the game ended.

Game 2 went the same way with Atlantis leading 13 runs to 2, but this time the weather had fallen in our favor. 

The Black Hole had our back and, thanks to a 9th Inning rally from our opponents, we managed to tie up the series and go into Game 3 with a fighting chance.

Game 3 took place under Sun 2 again but it was our turn to fail Sun 2. 

The game remained close until the seventh when we pulled ahead of the Georgias but tripped and fell four Runs short of activating Sun 2 and our a chance at extending the series into a fourth game. 

Atlantis Georgias 3 – 2 Boston Flowers

That was that for our Postseason run at the Championship but play wasn’t over for all of our players. 

Jaylen Hotdogfingers and Alberto Tosser were selected to play in the Semi-Centennial Match as part of the Rising Stars against the Vault Legends.

Tosser took the opportunity to betray someone other than the Boston Flowers, and traded away their Traitor Chunky Necklace for Sexton Wheerer’s Travelling Noise-Cancelling Night Vision Sunglasses of Intelligence. 

Whew! Try saying that one five times fast huh?

When the Vault Legends began Heisting players from the Rising Stars and Forging them into Legendary Players Jaylen saw the opportunity to be involved in more plot and was captured. 

The game was called a draw despite the Rising Stars winning 7-5 at the time because Sun(Sun) exploded.

Don’t worry about it, I’m sure it’ll be fine.

When the game ended Alberto returned to us, but Jaylen stayed trapped in The Vault. 

Two other players who had been Returned from The Hall to play landed on our roster: 

• Sutton Picklestein – yes, the very same player who we necromancied ten seasons ago in Season 13 only for them to be Plundered to the Breath Mints (The Breath Mints.) and then immediately Return to The Hall, &
• Jada Frederick – Jada was a player for the Pre-History team the “Maryland Squirrels.”

And that was the end of Play in Season 23! Now let’s head over and view the Election Results!

Season 23 Election Results

With no Wills, we have a lot less to talk about this Season.

We chose to vote for the Team Roamless Crates, which will prevent any Roaming players from moseying on over to our team. 

Most notably, it will protect us from Parker “Firewalker” MacMillan, but it comes with the added benefit of stopping The Fifth Base from making a return trip to take more of our players.

In terms of Blessings, we won a single Blessing and were affected by two more.

We won the Season 23 Blessing – Vault Swap and traded in Glabe Moon for Sutton Bishop. 

Bishop is a downgrade defensively over Moon, but who isn’t? If nothing else Glabe, will be safe in The Vault alongside Jaylen. Maybe. Hopefully.

The LA Unlimited Tacos won the Gachapon Blessing and took Stephanie Schmitt from our shadows, luckily avoiding another tragedy like the loss of Castillo Turner.

Finally, the Hellmouth Sunbeams did what they do best, and walked through the Election and walked out with the Divisional Walk in the Park Blessing in hand.

The Blessing granted every Team in Wild Low the Walk in the Park Modification allowing our Hitters to walk to first on one less ball than usual.

Last Words

The Boston Flowers have definitely made some large leaps in improvement over the last few seasons but our Active Roster is still in need of tidying up. 

We’re most likely destined for a poor performance in Season 24, but all that could change with some good luck.

An early Fax Machine activation to put Campos Aria and Jada Frederick into our shadows and place Gloria Bugsnax and Lowe Forbes onto our Rotation would change our fortunes drastically. 

Jada Frederick boasts some more than solid batting skills and could then Voicemail onto our Lineup and turn us into a real contender.

With a Firewalker Roaming the League and a Supernova burning above, this could be our last chance to win a Championship, be it an Over or Underchampionship.

So let’s go out there and show them that Life’s A Garden! Dig It!

When I called this section “Last Words” I meant it. There’s a very real chance that the Boston Flowers could be incinerated, never to grace the ILB ever again.

 Even now, you dear Reader, may have already witnessed us reach that fate.

I wanted to say a few words in case these are the last I write as the Word of the Boston Flowers.

Flowers will grow and wither as time passes us by, but their beauty is all the more for it. If this is the end of our road then let us burn a memory so bright that they will never forget our beauty and the joy we brought. 

The Boston Flowers, and You, dearest Reader, will always hold a special place in my heart as my first Blaseball Team. You have shown me great care, and support in my work and for that I love you.

Okay okay, that’s just too sad. 

Let’s Grow out there, play some damn fine Blaseball and show them who we are.

We Are The Boston Flowers.

That’s all folks!

Thank you all for reading once more, make sure to support the Blaseball News Network by checking out all of our other content.

This bouquet is all wrapped up in a bow and that means it’s time for me to grow! 

Have a good season, and don’t forget to ask, where is BNN?

Stay Safe Everybody.

The post 🌹 Chrysanthemum🌹 Boston Flowers Season 23 Recap appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

Welcome to the Boston Flowers Season 21 Recap “Chomping At The Bit.” Season 21 was a whole lot huh? Let’s break it down!

Season 20 Election Recap

The Boston Flowers had Free Wills, went in with a reliable plan, and came out with reliable results. Boston got two of the three Wills they had been aiming for, although, not without consequences.

• The Boston Flowers swapped Castillo Turner for Chorby Short, sending Chorby Short over to the New York Millennials.
• The Flowers voted to Move Owen Picklestein to the Lineup, making it even longer before. Their lineup is now the same size or larger than 16 teams!
• They rerolled Silvaire Roadhouses Flinch Modification, which turned into…Debt.

Don’t sweat the Debt though, I’m sure it’s not an omen for how Season 21 went for Boston.

Season 21 Results

The Boston Flowers finished 5th in Wild Low with a total of 58 Wins and a record of 47-52. They finished in a respectable 14th position in the League as a whole. 

Season 21 was a wild time for more than just the Wild League, it saw Detectives performing wrestling moves on Consumers, the finding of a Blagonball, and two teams reaching the Gate to Blaseball 2!

As the unluckiest team in all of Blaseball, naturally Boston found themselves right in the thick of it.

Unfortunately, Season 21 saw the end of the Flowers streak of Postseason appearances, but fans certainly weren’t complaining as the Season came to a close as the team fended off hordes of Consumers.

Back to the Wild (Low)

The Wild Low effect was in full force this season. The Division kept a small gap between each other in the Standings up until the Lateseason, and even then only the LA Unlimited Tacos broke away from the pack. There was a gap of just 8 Wins between second place Ohio Worms and the last place Miami Dale. 

Wild Low had returned to form and were set to lock down three of the four Overbracket Seeds in the Wild League, until the Houston Spies and Hellmouth Sunbeams decided to take a dive by taking the Early to the Party Modification. 

The Hellmouth Sunbeams dive turned out to be deeper than just a quick dip down the standings. 

The Sunbeams were Wild Carded into the Underbracket and proceeded to win the Underchampionship after missing the Overbracket on tiebreakers. Their victory made them the first team to hold both a Championship and an Underchampionship.

Middle of the Road

Boston was a middle of the road team. They changed lanes at the drop of a hat, sweeping the Houston Spies one series and then being swept by the Miami Dale the next. 

Their biggest enemy was themselves. The Flowers love to go big and go Home but in Season 21, their impressive ability to hit Home Runs was what sent them home.

During the last two Seasons several teams gained items for their Pitchers granting a modification called “Underhanded,” which turns any Runs scored from Home Runs into Unruns instead.

It was clear how much damage Underhanded was going to do from the beginning. Boston lost their very first match of Season 21 with a 0-4 scoreline against the Houston Spies after having four Runs converted to Unruns which wiped out the other four they had already scored.

By the end of Season 21, Boston had almost racked up a double-digit amount of losses caused entirely by having their Home Runs converted to Unruns. 

The Boston Flowers weren’t bad enough to catch the Miami Dale, but they weren’t good enough to catch teams like the LA Unlimited Tacos. In the end, they finished only 5 Wins away from the Overbracket, and 3 Wins away from the Underbracket.  

A devastating end to a streak of Postseason appearances.

A Walk in the Park

It’s time for another Walk in the Park where we discuss changes to Boston’s Ballpark “The Garden.” 

It took Flower Buds approximately half a second to agree on the best improvements and it seems like the League agreed, because both modifications chosen were ratified despite the fact that both were brand new.

The most popular option was Voicemail. Whenever the Flowers are shut out while playing at The Garden, they’ll Shadow their worst batter for their best Shadowed batter. Finally bringing in some relief to the exhausted batting Lineup.

Bird Hotels make it so anytime a player Parties at The Garden, birds will flock to join in the party. Of course, we didn’t know that when we chose it, but let’s be honest it’s called Bird Hotel, who can turn that down?

Alongside the Ratification of Voicemail and Bird Hotels, Balloons also got Ratified as well, lowering the eDensity and number of Modifications built into The Garden.

This was a great round of Renovations for the Flowers, despite building two new Modifications the overall eDensity of the Ballpark is down, and Voicemail will steadily help to improve their Lineup.

Nature’s Gifts

With the Snack Economy on a downturn following the Reforming of Paula Turnip, it was expected that the number of gifts would go down. The change wasn’t too drastic and fans were as generous as always.

Boston received three gifts, a Replica of Pitching Machine, Soul Patches, and an Item from the Bargain Bin. It turns out that when the gift was called “Pitching Machine, Siphon Edition” it wasn’t just talking about siphoning blood and Stars. 

Pitching Machine took the gift from the Bargain Bin, and then four of the ten Soul Patches to boot. 

Talk about rude! Pitching Machine? More like a FILCH-ing Machine. Take that Pitching Machine II.

To make matters worse, Pitching Machine’s item was stolen by Lorcan Smaht of the Baltimore Crabs, and if that wasn’t enough— the very next Community Chest item was picked up by Pitching Machine II as well!

The San Fransisco Lovers returned again as the Top Contributor to the team, with both the Core Mechanics and the Hades Tigers not too far behind. This marks the fourth time the Lovers and the Tigers have appeared in our Top Contributors. 

The Boston Flowers are incredibly thankful for the support we are given by the other teams time and time again. We are blown away by the love we receive every single Season. <3

Talkin’ about Bugsnax

Now that we’ve talked about how the Boston Flowers performed in the Season, we need to talk about everything else that happened to the Boston Flowers this Season, and oh boy is there a lot.

First on the list is Silvaire Roadhouse. 

Silvaire has the same type of Debt that Jaylen Hotdogfingers originally had— Silvaire will sometimes hit a player with a ball, making them Unstable.

Thankfully for the ILB, Silvaire only hit a total of 11 players, all of whom made it safely through the following week of play unscathed and stopped being Unstable. 

Well…not all of them, Stout Schmitt of the Miami Dale was sent to the Shadows via Voicemail before the week was up, so they’re still in danger until they can survive the end of a week outside of the shadows. 

But Silvaire having Debt wasn’t the wildest thing that happened to the Boston Flowers this Season. 

As part of a plan to reach the Gate to Blaseball 2, the Ohio Worms purchased a replica of Chorby Soul wielding Chorby’s Soul from the Gift Shop.

The plan was simple, use the heavy item to weigh themselves down enough to reach the Gate, and they succeeded! 

The Ohio Worms smashed into the Gate and revealed it to be a Red Herring and also full of literal Red Pickled Herring. But the story wasn’t over yet.

Gloria Bugsnax of the Boston Flowers cursed themselves by stealing the Chorby’s Soul away from the replica that held it.

The weight dropped Boston deep into Consumer territory and they were attacked relentlessly. Their items could only protect them so much and Chambers Simmons, Scores Baserunner, and Inez Owens all had a bite taken directly out of them. 

However, the theft wasn’t for nothing.  

Say hi to the Gate everyone!

Boston succeeded in also reaching the gate! Nothing new happened but hey, being the second team to reach the broken Gate to Blaseball 2 was really cool!

And I mean, when the Crabs came back from Blaseball 2 they had Evolved, so surely we’ll evolve now right? It’s just delayed since they weren’t expecting us…right..?

Please..?  Pretty Please..? Guess not…

Being chomped REALLY hurt, so let’s hope our Election results were nice to us this Season. Let’s go check them out!

Season 21 Election Results

If the rest of Boston’s fans are anything like me, they pinched themselves upon seeing the results to try and wake themselves up. Sadly for the Boston Flowers, these results were very real.

The New York Millennials used one of their Wills to open the joint New York Millennials-Boston Flowers Exchange School for Frogs & Cactuses by trading Chorby Short back for Castillo Turner.

Boston followed that up by trading Silvaire Roadhouse to their original team, the Baltimore Crabs, for recently reformed Alberto Tosser. Alberto is a spectacular pitcher but only a good batter and is a step in the wrong direction for the struggling Flowers.

Of course bad things always come in threes and there’s still a final Will to be cast by Boston.

With merely a 1% chance of occuring, the worst Batter in Boston’s shadows, Shaquille Sunshine, is chosen to be Shadow Infused, and boosts their Baserunning.

Ouch.

Looking on the bright side of things, this means that fans of Boston should be able to relax in Season 22 and let the current carry them to Party Time, and then back down into the Underbracket to pick up where they left off in Season 20.

Being bad hurts but personally, I think we could see Boston Flowers as your Season 22 Underbracket Champions!

That’s all folks!

Thank you all for reading once more, make sure to support the Blaseball News Network by checking out all of our other content.

This bouquet is all wrapped up in a bow and that means it’s time for me to grow! 

Have a good season, and don’t forget to ask, where is BNN?

The post 🌹Chomping At The Bit 🌹 Boston Flowers Season 21 Recap appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

We took last season off to rest and relax, and now after a peaceful siesta we’re back with another recap for the Boston Flowers!

Season 19 Election Recap

The Season 19 Election was the definition of “Not great, but not terrible” for the Boston Flowers. 

They successfully Exchanged Hierophantic Foible for Jacob Haynes, undoing a trade made by the Breath Mints in Season 18… only to then follow it up in true Flowers fashion by calling Jaylen Hotdogfingers’ Alternate and hurting their already poor batting potential.

Oh, and NaN roamed back to their original home, the LA Unlimited Tacos. Everyone wave goodbye to NaN!

Season 20 Results

The Boston Flowers finished 6th in the Wild League, once again denying the Ohio Worms the opportunity to activate their Bottom Feeder modification (Sorry, Worms). 

Boston finished with 37 Wins, a 37-62 Record, and placed 21st in the League overall, securing themselves Free Wills.

Season 20 marked the creation of the Underbracket, where Losing is Winning and Winning is Losing. After making the Postseason the ol’ fashioned way in back-to-back seasons, the Flowers spiced it up by trying something brand new; losing. 

Jokes aside, Season 20 was the third season in the row the Boston Flowers qualified for the Postseason, completing their hat trick. With two ways to reach the Postseason now available to them this may be the beginning of the new longest streak of subsequent Postseason appearances.

Seeds of Nope

Given the strength of their subdivision and their inconsistent batting, it was expected that Boston would be aiming to root down and go for an Underbracket run, and root down they did.

They opened Season 20 by getting swept by the LA Unlimited Tacos, who were headed in the opposite direction. Boston tried to rebound against the Lift and won two games, but the Lift threw their weights around and beat Boston four games in a row.

As of the Earlsiesta, the Flowers sat in 4th place in the Wild Low Subdivision, with the Dale and Worms further below them and the Tacos soaring ahead with a 21-6 record.

The Midseason was no different and Boston continued to have dirt shovelled onto them by the rest of Wild Low, with the exception of the Ohio Worms who were happily writhing in the dirt next to them.

The Ohio Worms and Boston Flowers were the clear losers of their Subdivision, and as the end of the Midseason closed in, the Worms and Flowers closed in on each other, both aiming to lose more than the other team. 

The fight— well, fight is too strong of a word for the Flowers or Worms, I suppose I should say the aggressive wiggling in each other’s direction wasn’t over the Underbracket, but over Free Wills and the Worms Bottom Dweller modification.

A Walk in the Park

The economy was booming off the back of Paula Turnip and Season 20 saw teams and their fans spend their newfound wealth wherever they could. 

For the Flower Buds, that place was The Garden. Fans eagerly splashed their cash and for the first time in (known) team history built three Renovations in The Garden.

First up were Balloons, a brand new Renovation. It floated to the second most popular Renovation this Season with a total of 17 Teams adding Balloons to their Ballpark, leaving it just one away from Ratification. 

Balloons are filled each time a Run or Win is earned at this ballpark and they help to offset eDensity. Between the Hoops, Birdhouses, and now Balloons, the Garden is quickly becoming a wonderful place to visit.

The Garden became e-short-ated, leaving less space between the bases. That’ll mean more chances for stealing bases and more chances of fielders making double plays.

The Flower Buds joined the rest of the League in digging Tunnels only for them to be filled right back in as they were Ratified and are now a League Rule. 

These Tunnels allow the Home Team to try and steal from their opponents, either stealing Runs or taking Items from their players. 

Be careful not to get caught though, or you may need to run into the Elsewhere to get away.

Nature’s Gifts

The Boston Flowers can certainly say they were loved this Season as they were gifted a massive four gifts and had 41,356,761 coins spent on them. 

Although many teams chipped in for these, fans of the Flowers owe a huge thanks to the San Fransico Lovers who were incredibly generous in their gift-giving and were responsible for 23% of the coins gifted.

The Wishlist was full of choices but in the end, only the top four could make it and those choices were a Quill for the Rotation, an item from the Bargain Bin, Early to the Party to help the Boston Flowers lose, and- 

Chorby Soul? 

Who let you back in here again? Looks like someone left the gate to The Garden unlocked again and you snuck in huh? Well I’m sure they won’t stick around for long, what with the Eclipses all over the place and them being Unstable.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

The race to the bottom began, armed with newly received gifts the Boston Flowers, Ohio Worms, and Atlantis Georgias were all set to fight for their Free Wills, but first, the Boston Flowers would have to escape not one, not two, but three Solar Eclipses with an Unstable Chorby Soul on their team. 

Because of their terrible, miserable, awful, no good stats, Chorby Soul VII was prepared to turn to a life of thievery; stealing Blessings that would otherwise target an actual member of the Boston Flowers. 

An incineration would mean an end to that and a new team member, but there had already been one incineration during the season, Niq Nyong’o of the Atlantis Georgias, so fans feared for the worst.

Their opponent for the first two Solar Eclipses was the Mexico City Wild Wings, who had been gifted the Fireproof modification. The hope was when Chorby Soul VII was incinerated the Unstable would spread to their Fireproof opponents and spare the most incinerated team more tragic deaths by incineration.

But Day 77 and Day 78 went by with no incineration, meaning the last chance for incineration would be on Day 83 against the Ohio Worms who were not Fireproof.

To make fans’ fears worse, Alejandro Leaf was incinerated on Day 79. Would this replica be responsible for another Ruby Tuesday? Who would this Gift strike down? 

It would strike down… nobody? Wait, nobody? Chorby Soul VII lived!? Huh, it turns out that Chorby Soul is so useless the Umps didn’t think they were worth incinerating. 

The Lateseason continued and the Boston Flowers took the lead in digging themselves a deep hole, but the Ohio Worms fell further and further behind. The Atlantis Georgias sank as deep as they could but they too couldn’t help but win games and were forced to come up for air.

The Boston Flowers are old hats at digging down compared to the newest additions to the League and lost a massive 20 out of 27 games in the Lateseason. The Boston Flowers were the 21st worst team in the ILB, and the worst team in Wild Low, securing themselves Free Wills and denying the Ohio Worms the chance to Bottom Feed.

Down and Dirty The First Underchampionship

The Boston Flowers had made the first ever Underbracket and were ready to get their losing on. 

This was the third time in a row that the Boston Flowers had qualified for the Postseason, the first time ever in team history to accomplish this feat. They hold the longest active streak for Postseason qualification alongside the Hawai’i Fridays— but if you don’t count Wild Card appearances then Boston stands alone.

With the Overbracket and the Underbracket around the Boston Flowers hold the best chance at breaking the current record for consecutive qualifications if they can either continue losing, or make the jump to the Overbracket. 

This feat is all the Boston Flowers had time to do in the first-ever Underchampionship, as they were quickly ushered out by the Atlantis Georgias who swept them 3-0. 

In the process, Cory Twelve, one of only two allergic players in Boston, had an allergic reaction costing them nearly half their stars. 

Both players and fans were quite happy to exit before they could suffer further damage having already achieved the goal of qualifying. There’s always next season… unless we turn out like the Alaskan Immortals.

Season 20 Election Results

The Boston Flowers are used to poor Election luck, and with three Wills to get through that chance was exaggerated.

They got two of the Wills they wanted, a third they didn’t. Of course even the Wills they wanted didn’t exactly go to plan but we’ll get to that.

First up was the overwhelmingly popular choice to exchange Castillo Turner and Chorby Short. 

This reversed a trade made back in Season 17, both players have grown since then and fans of the Boston Flowers were more than happy to welcome the 9.5 star pitcher back home.

Second was the unexpected Will. Owen Picklestein was moved onto the lineup upping the count of active batters to 13. 

That’s equal or more batters than SIXTEEN teams have in their entire active rosters.

Luckily, Owen landed in the bad part of their Lineup, keeping all of Boston’s good batters in a bunch.

Finally, Reforming Silvaire Roadhouse’s Flinch, which had long held them back from their true potential.

There’s just one itty bitty problem.

Flinch reformed into Debt. 

At the time of writing it’s unknown what effect it’ll have— but I hope you, dear reader, live in a future where it’s safe.

After so long fighting to Reform Flinch this is a tragic and unfortunate result, another Will shall be needed to remove the Debt and that’s ignoring the potential loss of life.

Boston didn’t win any Blessings but did benefit from the Green Light Blessing thanks to the Ohio Worms.

These changes won’t be enough to win the Overbracket, but they may be just right to allow the Boston Flowers to grow up while still spending some much-needed time Partying in the Underbracket.

This was certainly another Election that can be boiled down to “Welp, we’re the Flowers.” All we can do is stand back up, dust ourselves off, and shout LET’S GROW!

That’s all folks!

Thank you all for reading once more, make sure to support the Blaseball News Network by checking out all of our other content.

This bouquet is all wrapped up in a bow and that means it’s time for me to grow! 
Have a good season, and don’t forget to ask, where is BNN?

The post 🌹Setting Down Roots: Boston Flowers Season 20 Recap🌹 appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

Just over a month ago, I discussed the struggles of being a Flower trying to break through the snow and find Spring again over the last handful of seasons. In what could mainly be attributed to a long-term pitching problem, Boston’s fans have been watching with a mixture of disappointment and expectation for several seasons now, waiting for the Flowers to kick their team into a blooming frenzy.

In true Blaseball fashion, that came right in time for the Boston Flowers to shatter every expectation and make it all the way to the finals of Postseason 18 and force a thrilling five-game series against the Core Mechanics. Even though the Flowers did not win the Championship, they were crowned Wild League Champions. Because of this, I think it’s only fair that I do the team justice and talk about what got them to that point after having such disappointing seasons before.

A Stagnant Leauge

As previously discussed, there was plenty of indication that the Flowers were viable for Postseason contention based on comparable stats between them and other teams that were making it into these playoffs. Similar or better stats were being put up by the Flowers compared to teams such as the Los Angeles Unlimited Tacos, Chicago Firefighters, and Dallas Steaks in Season 16.

What came together in Season 18 was three important variables that helped the Flowers to overcome that hump and also relieve the pitching problem that was one of the main culprits. This first point of change that allowed the Flowers to rise was the relative average playing field that teams across the league dealt with for most of the season. Barring the Philly Pies, who played absurdly well and finished the season winning about 75% of their games, the entire league was playing at about the same level, with most teams putting up records in the 30’s range for Wins and developing into 40’s right as the Lateseason hit. This is the best environment for plants that want to grow. Thanks to the Flower’s growth Modifier, they played better and better as the season went on, allowing them to keep pace with a league that just wasn’t doing as well as normal, putting them in position to leap ahead in the Lateseason with a proper nudge.

Growth Spurt

This nudge came in the form of the brand new Gift Shops that had been installed across the league during the season, allowing players to donate to other teams’ wishlists while controlling what their favorite team would receive. There were quite a few options available to the league, and the Flowers ended up with Late to the Party, a seasonal Modifier that would allow them to Overperform in the Lateseason. This team-wide 20% percent boost, topping a near 5% boost from Growth, allowed the Flowers to rocket ahead width a massive win streak that set them on top of the Wild League for the rest of the season. Though the Flowers were not the only team to get this gift— 7 other teams got their hands on a Late Party— but this extra Overperformance was part of a larger puzzle that nudged the Flowers into a winning position.

A Froggy Pitcher

The other missing piece that the Flower had been needing for so long was the renewal of their pitching Rotation to take the team all the way. That came in an unexpected wimdy with the New York Millenials. Chorby Short and Castillo Turner swapped teams thanks to an Equivalent Exchange at the end of Season 17, and Short responded smashingly to the bright green environment, leading the pitchers in a glorious charge to keep pace (and eventually surpass) the rest of the league, all season long. Short pitched 25 games and won 18 of them, a 0.72 win-loss record that hadn’t been matched since Season 15. What made it even better is that the rest of the Rotation followed suit.

Cory Twelve, an old teammate of Short’s and exhilarated to be sharing a mound with them, pitched an identical 18-7 record in the best season Twelve had since Season 13. Brock Forbes pitched 24 games and ended up winning 16 of them, and Gloria Bugsnax also pitched 25 and won 15. The average Earned Run Average for the four lined up at a 2.53— the lowest it’s ever been for the team.

This complete turnaround in pitching fortune contributed heavily to the season, filling the last place in the Flower’s offense that had been floundering in a few seasons. It was a combination of this, the Lateseason power boost, and the mediocre season the rest of the league had that led to the Flowers pushing their way into the Postseason like a dandelion pushes through cracked concrete.

Looking Ahead

However, this incredible turn of events seems to not have lasted, for better or for worse. The pitching Rotation is doing much worse in Season 19 thanks to the changes rolled out by the league; not a single player in the Rotation has pitched over a 50% win record and the ERA of the Rotation is twice what it was last season. Ironically enough, this is exactly what the Flowers needed to make it to the Postseason again in the topsy turvy madness brought about by the Turntables Decree, having clinched their way in with the third best Unrecord in the Wild league.

The problem lies, however, in the long-term viability of this poor play; most of the league assumes that the Turntables Decree, in one way or another, won’t last forever, and that will put the Flowers in a poor position moving forward. The team is still plagued by the nasty pitching problem it’s had for a while, and while that is a good thing now, long term, it might make the team wither instead of bloom.

The post What Went Right for the Flowers: How Season 18 Was a Perfect Storm appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

I’m back once more with a Season Recap for the Boston Flowers, and boy howdy was this a season for the ages. I’m not going to forget Season 18 anytime soon.

Let’s get growing!

Season 17 Election Recap

The Season 17 Election went incredibly well for the Boston Flowers with two improvements to their roster, a stat increase, and a slight downgrade as a result of Exchanged pitchers.

• Scores Baserunner was Moved back to the Lineup, following a midseason Reverb.
• Salih Ultrabass was Foreshadowed and Margarito Nava returned in their place.
• Boston won the Grounded Blessing which went to Brock Forbes, improving their Overpowerment at the cost of some of their Unthwackability.
• The New York Millennials exchanged Chorby Short for Castillo Turner.

Season 18 Results

The Boston Flowers finished 1st in the Wild League, and no that wasn’t an error. They finished with 66 Wins, and a record of 67-32 following an incredible Season 18 run, dubbed the “Unbeleafable Season” by their fans.

They didn’t just have a good record either, Boston reached the Internet League Championship for the first time in franchise history following back-to-back victories against the Hellmouth Sunbeams and the Hades Tigers. 

Their impossible run finally came to an end after being narrowly defeated by the Season 18 Champions the Core Mechanics.

Seeds of Hope

As soon as the season began, it became clear that Wild Low was going to be a hard-fought war between all of the teams, and that any one of them held the potential to make it to the Internet League Championships.

By the end of the Earlseason, eventual Division Winner the Boston Flowers sat on a 13-14 Record, with the eventual Division Losers the Hellmouth Sunbeams right behind them at 12-13.

The air around The Garden was electric, filled with equal parts nerves and excitement about the potential for the team to go far, maybe even win.

They’d obviously been underestimated— but by how much, and would they be able to show the strength of the Growth Modifier and overtake the rest of the Division? Were the Flowers good or were the Flowers Good?

A Walk in the Park

It’s time for another edition of “A Walk in the Park,” where we examine The Garden, Boston’s Ballpark.

No new Renovation options appeared this time, leaving everyone with the opportunity to finally pick up some Renovations that had been passed over for their more exciting counterparts.

Grind Rail

The Grind Rail allows Batters to steal third base all the way from first by skating their way across the rail. If they don’t bail of course. A solid choice for Boston who has a few players known for stealing bases.

Obtuseness +

This was the result of some smart thinking Flower Buds. Increased Obtuseness lowers the number of foul balls but increases hits.The Boston Flowers relied mostly on their fantastic pitching rotation for outs this season, so this was a clear win for helping their batters without helping their opponents.

Nature’s Gifts

Welcome to a new segment! Season 18 saw the introduction of a new way to spend your coins between the Earlsiesta and the Lateseason, the Gift Shop. 

In the Gift Shop, fans can spend coins to help buy other teams a gift, or spend coins setting up their Wish List.

The Boston Flowers loved the idea of giving gifts, and joined hands with the San Fransisco Lovers and the Hades Tigers to exchange gifts. As the exchange ended, the Hades Tigers and Boston Flowers promised to meet in the Wild League Finals to prove who was strongest.

Time to unwrap those gifts!

Late to the Party, Team Edition

This gift gave the whole team the Late to the Party Modifier, which makes them Overperform in the Lateseason. This was key to the Flowers eventual dominance over the Wild League Standings.

Handcrafted Bat Drop

The Handcrafted Bat was picked up by Jacob Haynes, and turned out to be a Frosty Bat. This bat would later protect Haynes from a Consumer attack!

Nagomi McDaniel, Collectors Edition

This granted Boston a replica of Nagomi McDaniel. Nagomi weighed down the team and subjected them to extra Consumer attacks, but ultimately Nagrowmi, as fans dubbed her, carried her weight becoming Magmatic twice in clutch situations.

Boston Roses Above

Armed with Overperforming, a Frosty Bat, and Nagomi McDaniel II, Boston began to lay waste to the Wild League during the Lateseason finishing the regular season off 20-7. But we’ve got bigger things to talk about such as…

Fans watched on as the Houston Spies and the Wild Card Hellmouth Sunbeams battled for the opportunity to face the Flowers in Round 2.

The Flower Buds were exhilarated to have made it this far, no one knew what to do, everyone was trying to keep calm and be realistic about their chances but their act wasn’t going to fool anyone.

The Sunbeams advanced 2-1 over the Spies to meet against the Flowers. Game 1 ended in a crushing 8-1 Victory for Boston that shattered the veil. Boston’s fans were done pretending and cast away their act as excitement boiled over.

The Sunbeams claimed a narrow victory in Game 2 and paid the price in Game 3 and 4 for having the gall to take a win from the Flowers, being kept to just two runs in both games.

Boston advanced to the Wild League Finals, opposing the Hades Tigers. 

The Tigers and Flowers had kept their promise and were set to battle at the pinnacle of the Blaseball world. The Tigers were overwhelmed by the Flowers’ momentum and the series ended with a quick 3-0 in Boston’s favor. 

The Final Growdown

I’d felt the energy present in The Garden before, pure unadulterated joy combined with nerves and fear. 

The feeling of having just one more hurdle left in front of you, you could’ve failed before but you didn’t. 

Your toughest opponent was still left to go, and by the end of the day either you’d have won it all and become the Internet League Blaseball Champions or you’d lose it all and have to start again. 

Game One 

The score is 4-4, the game has been pushed into extra innings and it’s the bottom of the 10th. Scores Baserunner hits a triple! Nagomi McDaniel II scores! Allan Kranch hits a single! Scores Baserunner scores! The Boston Flowers shame the Core Mechanics!

Game Two

Once more the score is tied, it’s the bottom of the Ninth. Adelaide Judochop hits a 3-Run Home Run! The Core Mechanics shame the Boston Flowers!

Game Three

Sensing a losing pattern the Mechanics decide to break formation, and successfully shut out Boston avoiding a third shame in a row.

Game Four

Chorby Short is up to pitch, but… this isn’t The Garden. This is the Core! Chorby Short is Homesick, Boston is down 2-1 in the series and must win.  Boston gets their Pogs out with their Frogs out and their squad comes back even stronger and wins Game Four 4-1. Just one more game to go.

Game Five

The First Inning goes by scoreless. The Core and Boston trade Runs in the Third leaving them both 1-1. In the Top of the Fourth Mindy Kugel bats Christian Combs home. Core 2-1. Unable to fire back the Core picks up a third run in the Top of the Sixth. Core 3-1. Boston knuckles down and strengthens their defense, but the Mechanics hold strong and claim Game Five and the Championship!

So ends The Unbeleafable Season. The Boston Flowers fought harder and stronger than anyone expected but it just wasn’t enough. The close finish has far from defeated players or fans, instead their resolve has strengthened and unionized.

 Season 18 may have ended with defeat but the Boston Flowers will Grow On.

Season 18 Election Results

The Election Results went back to their usual form for Boston, which is to say, not perfectly.

There were no Blessings to be found for Boston but there were certainly roster changes about. 

Allan Kranch is now pitching for the Core Mechanics, in their place is ILB Famous Jaylen Hotdogfingers now batting for the first time in their career. Jaylen is a downgrade in Batting for Allan, but their popularity means they will likely leave Boston during the Season 20 Election.

The Breath Mints took advantage of the Equivalent Exchange Will to swap Jacob Haynes to their team leaving behind Hierophantic Foible (try saying that one five times fast). 

Hierophantic Foible is another downgrade to the Lineup with an awkward set of stars, but their total leaves open a number of Equivalent Exchanges, including Jacob Haynes of course.

Oh hi NaN! Nice to see you wander into The Garden. 

I expect you’ll roam away at the first sight of Feedback so whether or not you’re a downgrade will depend on who you get swapped with and how long it takes you to do it. 

By this stage Reader, I’m sure NaN has already moved on to greener pastures, well not greener considering how green The Garden is but you get the idea.

Zeboriah Wilson was already a promising member of the Boston Flowers shadows so expect to see them come out of the shadows to reinforce the rest of the Lineup.

Roots Down, Thorns Up

This obviously wasn’t the election Boston was hoping for, but their All-Star Pitching Rotation survived unharmed and they’ve got room to grow and improve their batting in multiple directions. 

The roots of the team survived and that’s the most important thing. Boston are down but are far from out and personally, I expect we’ll see them in another Internet League Blaseball Championship soon if they manage to increase their batting. They’re stuck once more in Nonbinary Baby Jail but soon they’ll be too big to keep locked up.

Boston Good!

Wait Winning is Losing and Losing is Winning?

Forget everything I said before, Boston is going to be at the bottom of Wild Low by which I mean the top because they’ll be losing instead of winning. This is altogether too confusing. 

Boston Good? Boston Bad? All I know is We’re the Flowers.

That’s all folks!

I appreciate all of my readers, especially The Reader of course. Thank you for your kind words and supporting myself and the Blaseball News Network.

Make sure to check out our Season 19 Power Rankings as well as the other recaps available on the site.

This bouquet is all wrapped up in a bow and that means it’s time for me to grow! 

Have a good siesta, and don’t forget to ask, where is BNN?

The post 🌹The Unbeleafable Season🌹: Boston Flowers Season 18 Recap appeared first on Blaseball News Network.

Welcome Blaseball Fans to the Boston Flowers Season 17 Recap!

I hope you’re enjoying the Siesta so far! After the chaos of the last three Seasons, everyone deserves some peace and quiet. It’s time to break down Season 17, starting with the Season 16 Election recap. 

Season 16 Election Recap

The Season 16 Election was a near-miss for the Boston Flowers, saved from tragedy by the Baltimore Crabs.

• The Boston Flowers plunder Chorby Soul from The Hall. Margarito Nava retreats to the Shadows.
• The Crabs also plunder Chorby Soul, leaving Silvaire Roadhouse in their place.
• Glabe Moon returns to Boston, following an Exchange for Schneider Bendie
• Boston wins the Shadows Running Practice Blessing, increasing the Baserunning of their Shadowed players.

Season 17 Results

The Boston Flowers finished 5th in Wild Low, with 43 Wins, and a record of 43-56.

Season 17 wasn’t nice to Boston in the slightest. The Wild Low went trekking into nature to hunt Wild High together while the Hellmouth Sunbeams stayed at home to Party. 

Boston wasn’t strong enough to keep up with the rest and got left behind to suffer alone through devastating Weather effects.

Unable to find their way forward they stumbled back home and joined the Sunbeams at the Party— but thanks to Growth, they missed the start.

A Moth to the Flame

Boston started the Earlseason with a Win — and it went all downhill from there. 

The only teams they managed to get more than one Win from in the Earlseason were the Hellmouth Sunbeams, who had chosen to actively tank the season, and the Tokyo Lift, who ultimately finished 5th in Wild High. 

The Weather was out in full force. On Day 21 and then on Day 26, the Boston Flowers were hit by Reverb Weather. 

First, it shuffled their Lineup, and then it chose to really shake things up putting Scores Baserunner and Gloria Bugnsax into the Rotation and putting Chambers Simmons and Dunn Keyes into the Lineup. 

The Reverb was just a warning. 

Alone in the Wilderness without their Captain and Fire Eater, Margarito Nava, a Solar Eclipse turned lethal. Hiroto Cerna, beloved by fans, was incinerated by a Rogue Umpire on Day 36.

Hiroto’s death follows that of Moses Mason, who was incinerated the previous Season. Boston had been hoping a miracle would see them claim the title of Champion— instead, a disaster saw them reclaim the title of “Most Players Incinerated.” 

Their replacement Allen Kranch is no slouch, but Hiroto was a “hiro” to many and left a large pair of shoes behind. Their untimely incineration worsened an already struggling batting lineup.

A Walk in the Park

Let’s destress with a calm Walk in the Park shall we?

The Ballpark Renovation options available to the Flower Buds didn’t inspire much excitement, and despite an effort to try and only fund one renovation to save on coins and density, fans funded two renovations. 

• Ballpark Cleanup
  • The most popular option selected, this removed the Filthiness from The Garden. It’s great to see fans taking an interest in keeping their local Park clean! Keep it up Flower Buds!

• Flood Pumps
  • This renovation is a good combination with Ballpark Cleanup. The Pumps activate in Flooding weather stopping the Ballpark from getting too messy again.

They stayed away from the new option they were offered, Fax Machine. This was only the second time they’ve passed on a unique Renovation, so we’ll have to see if they continue to resist the urge.

Notably, a chance at Coffee Weather was also ignored, they’ve already turned down Coffee Two and Coffee 3s previously, so if fans are hoping to increase the chance of Weather they’re not interested in getting caffeinated. 

Keep an eye out on the Weather Forecast to see when and what Fans will go for, perhaps Sun 2 or extra Birds, to stay on theme?

Out of the Cold

The run of extremely bad luck Boston experienced faded away in the Lateseason as they strolled through familiar streets back to The Garden after being unable to keep up with the rest of Wild Low.

Those familiar streets took a form that Boston’s fans have seen time and time again: They stumble on the same part of the sidewalk, as usual, tripping where the pavement has been pushed up by plant growth. They Win when a Loss would’ve pushed them into PARTYTIME, but lose too often to create a Lateseason miracle.

It’s as disappointing as it is comfortable. Not making the Postseason is safe, Boston isn’t at risk of Consumer Attacks, Reverbs, or Eclipses, but they’re not at risk of winning either.

Boston needs a change, maybe they should find a different route to walk home, or maybe they should consider a change of scenery— they hear the Mild League is pretty nice this time of year. 

Above all else they need a lucky break, they managed to Party several times before the Season ended, but not for the players who needed it most. 

For now, the Flowers should rest and recuperate and begin training to prepare themselves for another shot at climbing the Wild League Mountain.

Season 17 Election Results

The Boston Flowers have had a streak of rough Election results. Often filling a gap in their team only for it to open right back up, like in a cartoon when someone plugs a hole in their boat only for another leak to spring back up.

Season 17 was the end of that bad luck.

Boston had both their top Wills enacted, with a combined total of 69% of their votes. Nice! 

They Shadowed their worst batter, Salih Ultrabass, in exchange for Margarito Nava, who is now their second-best batter. 

Then they moved their third-best batter, Scores Baserunner, back onto the Lineup after they were sent to the Rotation earlier this Season.

To top it off, they won the Grounded Blessing, which improved Brock Forbes Overpowerment in exchange for some of their Unthwackability, making Brock a much more balanced pitcher. 

There was a cost to their Election success, and that cost was Castillo Turner being exchanged with Chorby Short by the New York Millennials.

Castillo (who should Not Be Perceived) and Chorby may appear to have similar stats, but it’s all a magic trick from Short caused by the Attractor Modifier, which inflates their Stars above their actual skill level.

Despite that, Chorby Short is no slouch at pitching, so the Flowers now have a balanced pitching Rotation where the worst you can say about a player is “they’re good” and “we love them.”

Clear Skies, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose

It’s Dawn the morning after the siesta. 

The Boston Flowers have woken up well-rested and refreshed and ready to Play Ball.

The skies are clear, the Sun 2 is out and shining.

They’re improved and are ready this time, ready to climb the mountain.

Keeping up with the Wild League will be just as tough this Season as any other but this time the Boston Flowers are properly prepared.

Boston now has a well-rounded Lineup and a Rotation to match, and although we don’t know what Wills are going to appear at the next Election, they’ve got options to pursue.

The Boston Flowers may not be the best team in Baseball, but they won’t give up trying— no matter how many times they get beaten, be it by the Weather or by other teams.

The Flowers are a team that makes you believe that no matter how small, there’s still a chance they can win.

That’s all folks!

I want to give a special mention here to Cal, the founder and former Boss of BNN, for all the work they’ve put into turning this from a joke into something real.

I hope you’ll all join me in giving Cat a warm welcome as the new Boss of BNN and stay tuned as we continue to write words about this incredible splort we all love.

You should definitely take the time this Siesta to read through our extensive catalogue of articles if you haven’t yet. BNN puts a lot into what we do and we couldn’t do it without your support.

My next appearance will likely be in the Season 18 Power Rankings so keep your eyes peeled for my name next to a blurb justifying yet another incorrect ranking.

This bouquet is all wrapped up in a bow and that means it’s time for me to grow! 

Have a good siesta, and don’t forget to ask:

Where is BNN?

The post 🌹 Lost in the Wild: Boston Flowers Season 17 Recap 🌹 appeared first on Blaseball News Network.